“He got sick and now he’s dead.” Her therapist finished the statement.
Nina dropped her head into her hands. She wanted to fuckin’ scream.
“How did I get left here without him?”It was the only question she wished someone could give her the answer to.
“How do you feel right now?”
“Alone,” Nina admitted. She didn’t have anyone left in her corner other than Javon but she was the parent…Nina felt like she had to be the strong one.
“I can see why you feel that way. Does Jio’s death make you think about your brother? Your sister? Ephrem? Marcus? Your grandfather? Brooklyn?… What about Danyelle? What are you living for today? Not tomorrow or next week, but what got you out of bed this morning?”
Damn, why you gotta come off so strong?Nina thought.
Instead of responding to her loaded question, she jokingly said, “I’m glad you signed an NDA.”
Dr. Berry could write a tell-all book on all of the mogul’s business. She knew everything and still nothing at all because Nina was holding barrels of secrets.
“Nina, we can get through this, but first I need to meet you where you are, and I can’t do that if you’re avoiding every single one of my questions. Jio was-”
“THE LOVE OF MY FUCKIN’ LIFE!” Each word came out like a loaded clip. She didn’t need to answer a questionnaire. Nina knew how the fuck she was feeling. She’d been here before, plenty of times; but not with the one person who’d held her hand through every other death. Whether he was at her side or nearby in the tuck, she hadn’t been through much alone. Nina depended on Jio for EVERYTHING. He was her physician. Herother therapist. Her minister. Her personal chef. Her stylist. Her masseuse. Her butler. He ran her bath water. Took her braids out. Shaved her legs. Got her water in the middle of the night. Picked up her meds from the pharmacy. He made her dentist appointments because she would cancel them if her assistant made them on days when her anxiety wouldn’t let her sit back and have her mouth wide open for hours. Nina hated the dentist but Jio was big on oral hygiene. It was the little things that trumped her mind. Moving on was going to be difficult. She didn’t even want to try. She remained unsuccessful over the years in attempting to meet someone better, but there wasn’t a man on this green earth who would love her like Jiorgio Gotti III.
“It’s time to pour that energy back into you.”
Self-love was hit or miss if you asked her, and quite frankly, she wasn’t trying to hear that today. The truth of the matter was that she wanted her nigga back.
His last breath should’ve been hers too. She didn’t foresee a future without him, but she would try her best.
“How?” The steps to get through grief seemed impossible.
“Where are you mentally? What’s going through your head, Ms. Marcelle? Talk to me please,” she pleaded with one of her favorite patients. Although she would never admit that to anyone. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together, fighting to keep from losing her damn mind inside the very building that bore her family’s last name for all of New York City to see.
Nina Marcelle was a big deal and whoever felt otherwise was a hater.
What would the blogs say if she crashed out? How would Javon feel if he had to turn around and bury his mama too?
This was therapy. Nina had to remind herself that it was the one place that she could be honest, raw, and downrightvulnerable. She didn’t have to look, sound, or appear to be perfect. She could slouch her shoulders, curse as much as a sailor and ugly cry if she wanted.
She’d seen her at her highest and now… at her lowest.
They’d been through some shit together and Dr. Berry had more faith in her being resilient than anyone.
Dr. Berry left her chair and came to sit next to her. Before she reached out, she asked for permission. “Can I touch you?”
Nina was hot and cold. She never knew what side she would get from her.
A slow head nod granted Dr. Berry access into her personal space.
She took her hand and squeezed it, knowing that physical support was needed.
She scooted closer to her and wrapped her arm around Nina’s waist.
“Take a deep breath… inhale….” She instructed and did it with her to let her know that she wasn’t alone.
Nina’s body shivered but she was able to inhale every single thing that she’d been feeling.
Dr. Berry spoke softly, “We’re taking our power back. We’re grabbing peace again. We’re returning to ourselves slowlyyyyy but surely….” She stretched her words.
Nina’s eyes misted as she listened to her therapist coach her back to earth.
