Everything was connected to her; his thoughts, memories, and plans. Down to the future he envisioned that included her. Somewhere along the way, she had stopped being a part of his life and had become woven into all of it, which may have been the problem.
He hadn’t realized how much space she occupied until she left and now it seemed as if she was everywhere.
On the empty side of the bed.
In the books scattered around the penthouse and at the coffee shop he’d pass on Tuesday mornings because she liked the croissants.
In every damn song that came on the radio.
He considered her in all of his decision making.
She’d left a permanent mark on his heart and now that she was gone, he didn't know what to do with all the places she used to occupy.
“Damn bro.” Kadeer saw him struggle with his emotions.
Jio looked over at him. “What?”
“You really hurting.”
Normally, he would’ve laughed it off or cracked a joke, followed by telling him to mind his business, but not this time. Instead, he stared at the range before him while the target moved slowly back and forth on the track.
Finally, he sighed so heavily that it felt as if it’d been derived from the pit of his soul. “I think I lost the best thing that ever happened to me,” he admitted painfully.
The words surprised even him. No one spoke because they were shocked to hear Jio talk like that. He rarely talked about women, let alone relationships…especially since he didn’t partake in those. Talking about his feelings had always been off limits.
Yet, there he was standing in the middle of a gun range looking like somebody had stolen his last brick.
Jio had fucked up by not showing her how he felt while he had her but he wouldn’t ever make that mistake again.
Before her, staying alive and getting money were enough for him. Nina removed the limitation from his goals. She encouraged him to reach for the sky.
As long as people respected him and his family was taken care of, he figured he was winning…but then Nina came along asking questions nobody else ever dared to ask.
What do you actually want?
Who are you when nobody's watching?
When does enough become enough?
What do you value the most?
Where do you see yourself in five years? Will you be alive?
She challenged everything that came with him; his mindset, his good and bad habits, and damn near every decision he ever made came with a variety of questions.
Most importantly, she challenged the version of himself he had spent years convincing everybody else to fear.
For the first time in his life, somebody saw straight through him, and instead of running away, she stayed… at least she had for a while.
Now she was gone and he didn’t know if she ever planned on returning.
The brothers exchanged a look, neither knew what to say. Which was probably for the best.
Jio didn’t need advice because that shit wouldn’t bring her back.
A few hours later, the three of them ended up at the strip club. The destination had Kadeer’s fingerprints all over it. According to him, no problem in the history of mankind had survived liquor, music, and beautiful women. Jio was starting to think his brother might be full of shit.
The club was packed and music thundered through the building and dancers floated across stages beneath flashing lights. Bottles arrived at tables every few minutes. Men laughed louder than necessary, and women pretended to be interested in conversations they weren’t listening to.
