I’m willing to do almost anything, though.
ItoldmyselfIwouldn’t do this.
I’ve been telling myself that for months.
It was easier at first. After the first time Jasper and I hooked up, I brushed it off. It was easy to harbor a crush on him when I thought it wouldn’t go anywhere.
Things even went back to normal for a while after the first time. But after the second time? We couldn’t stop. We still haven’t stopped.
He wants more. I can tell. And fuck… I want more too. But I just… can’t. I have things I need to accomplish. People I need to take care of who are relying on me.
As it stands, the guilt nearly swallows me whole. But I can’t resist his pull, and Jasper can’t deny me a single thing, even when he should.
Which is why, five hours after my shift ends, I find myself standing outside his house.
We’ve been doing this for months. I show up. He fucks me into his mattress. Sometimes I stay the night, too tired to even attempt to leave his bed and his arms. Others, I run out like my ass is on fire.
I pretend I’m not in love.
He pretends he’s not in love.
It’s fine. As long as we both keep pretending.
It’s getting really fucking hard to pretend. But Jasper is the only thing I’m selfish enough to want for myself. He’s also the one thing I’m not selfish enough to take fully.
When it really comes down to it, he deserves better than me. I came from nothing. Iamnothing, and while I know he enjoys having sex with me, we could never work out in the long run. I have nothing to offer him, and I know it.
Raising my hand, I knock on his door, my heart hammering in my throat.
It’s almost like he guessed I’d be coming, because no sooner have I dropped my hand than he’s opening the door.
He’s so fucking handsome, and the sight of him always makes my breath catch. His jaw is strong and angular, dusted with rough stubble, his eyes a clear denim blue. His hair, while full and thick, is far more salt than pepper. Bad genetics, he’d once told me. Apparently, his grandpa had gone gray early too.
He’s standing in the open doorway in nothing but a pair of sweats slung low on his hips, his broad chest on full display.
I have to swallow hard a couple of times.
“Arlo,” he says, his voice a low rumble.
“Can I come in?” I somehow manage to ask.
Without a word, he steps back, gesturing for me to enter.
By now, his home is as familiar to me as my own, and wasting no time, I strip down, dropping my clothes throughout his living room as I make my way to his bedroom.
After everything today—waking up early to Salem’s stuff and then my long day at work, since I openedandstayed through close—I just need this.Jasper.I need Jasper. That’s really what it comes down to.
His footsteps echo behind me, and when I’m in his bedroom, I turn, waiting on him.
When he steps into the room, his cock is already swollen, tenting his sweats.
“Should I be offended that you didn’t even say hello?” he asks, quirking a brow at me.
I shrug. He can be whatever he wants as long as he pins me to the bed and fucks all my bad thoughts away. “ShouldIbe offended that I stripped down for you and I’m ready and waiting in your bedroom and you’re just standing there?”
Jasper takes a step toward me. He towers over me, so I tilt my head back to look up at him. Cupping my face with warm hands, he smiles down at me. “You need to be fucked, baby boy?”
Heat coils in my stomach, and my knees go weak. “Please.”
