“Oh, come on,” Blair pressed, “we're all adults here.And clearly you've crossed a line already.Might as well spill.”
I glanced at Mel, who was still glaring at me, but there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes too.I sighed.I wasn't getting out of this.
“I...used my hands.That's all you're getting.”
Blair whistled low.“Damn, Carter.I didn't think you had it in you.”
Mel shook her head, but the corners of her mouth were twitching.“You're an idiot, you know that?”
“Trust me, I'm well aware.”I emptied my glass in a single gulp, the alcohol burning a path down my throat.The weight of Mel and Blair's stares pressed on me like a physical force.“Look, I know I fucked up,” I admitted.“But I couldn’t bear to see her like that.”
Mel's expression thawed.“Carter, I get it.You care about her.But this...it's a minefield.You're her boss, for Christ's sake.”
“You think I don't know that?”I snapped then immediately regretted it.“Sorry.I'm just...I don't know what to do now.”
Blair shifted forward, her teasing tone gone.“Have you talked to her about it?”
“Not really.We've both been avoiding the subject.”
“You need to address it,” Mel said.“Set clear boundaries.Or end the working relationship entirely.”
The thought of not seeing Olivia every day made my chest tighten.“I can't fire her.She's too good at her job.”
Blair raised an eyebrow.“Is that the only reason?”
I didn't answer.The truth was, I wanted Olivia in my life.And that terrified me more than anything.
Blair rolled her eyes.“Come on, Carter.It's obvious you have feelings for Olivia.Why not explore them?”
“Because it's complicated,” I growled.“She's my employee, remember?”
“So?”Blair shrugged.“People meet at work all the time.It doesn't have to be a big deal.”
Mel cleared her throat, her expression thoughtful.“Carter, I've known you since we were kids.I've seen how you've been with women since your mom died.”
I stiffened, not liking where this was going.“What's that supposed to mean?”
“It means you keep everyone at arm's length.You've never let anyone get close enough to hurt you.But maybe Olivia could be different.”
I scoffed, trying to ignore the way my heart skipped at the thought.“Different how?”
“She's already gotten under your skin,” Blair said.“You care about her more than you want to admit.”
“That doesn't mean anything,” I protested, but even I could hear the lack of conviction in my voice.
Mel put her chin on her hand and looked at me.“Carter, when was the last time you felt this way about someone?When was the last time you even considered letting someone in?”
I stayed silent, unable to come up with an answer.
“Look,” Mel continued.“I'm not saying you should jump into anything.But maybe it's worth considering why Olivia affects you so much.Why you're willing to cross lines for her that you've never crossed before.”
I raked a hand through my hair, feeling cornered.“And what if it all goes to shit?What then?”
Blair smirked.“Then you deal with it like a grown-up.But at least you'll have tried.”
* * *
I stood in my closet,staring at the rows of meticulously organized shirts and suits.My hand hovered over a thin gray sweater before moving to a sleek black blazer.What the hell am I doing?
