I pressed my lips into a thin line and blinked rapidly.This wouldn’t get any easier if I put it off.I just needed to get it out and get it over with.“I lost the baby at ten weeks.We were devastated, but the doctors said it was common.So we tried again.”
Carter's thumb kept tracing soothing circles on my palm as I continued.
“The second time, I made it to fourteen weeks.We thought we were in the clear.We'd even started telling people.”I stared at our joined hands.“When I lost that baby too, something in me broke.”
I looked up at Carter, expecting to see pity or disgust in his eyes.Instead, I found only sympathy and understanding.
“After the second miscarriage, I started having the pain.At first, I thought it was just part of the healing process.But it didn't go away.It made everything hurt—sitting, standing, and especially sex.”
The lines on Carter’s brow deepened, but he remained silent, letting me finish.
“Ethan tried to be understanding at first.But as time went on and the pain didn't get better, he got frustrated.We stopped being intimate.And then he just pulled away.Started working late, avoiding me.Eventually, I found out he was cheating.”
Carter's jaw tightened.
“I tried to fix things, to be the perfect wife.But in the end, it wasn't enough.He left me.Said he couldn't handle the pressure of my health issues and the grief.”I wiped away a tear, fighting the impulse to curl up and hide from the memory.“I don't blame him, not really.I couldn't give him what he wanted—a family, a normal sex life.I'm damaged goods.I come with a lot of baggage.Are you sure you want to take that on?”
Carter's eyes blazed with an intensity that was almost alarming.His hand tightened on mine, and he used his other hand to tilt my chin up, forcing me to look at him.“You arenotdamaged.You're a survivor.And your strength, your resilience, it only makes me want you more.”He pulled me close, pressing a kiss to my forehead.“I have my own baggage, my own fears.But I think you’re worth facing them for.”
By this point, tears were trickling down my face.“But I can't give you what you want.I don't know if I'll be able to have s?—”
“I'm going to stop you right there.”He cradled my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away my tears.“I'm not interested in you just for sex.I'm interested inyou—your grace, your compassion, your ability to see the good in everyone, even a grumpy asshole like me.”
I choked out a watery laugh, and Carter smiled.
Determined to shift the mood, I pitched my voice a little lower.“You know, there are plenty of things we can do besides sex.”
“Oh, yeah?”Carter raised his brows, and I shifted on the couch, moving to straddle his lap.
“Mhm.”
He settled his hands on my hips and his hard length pressed against my aching core.I knew sex might be painful, but God, I wanted this man so much I was ready to combust.
“Oh, fuck,” he gasped.“Okay.Hi.”
I giggled, loving that I could ruffle him.“Hi.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CARTER
If I could only doone thing for the rest of my life, it'd be kissing Olivia Friedman.
I'd been with my fair share of women over the years, but nothing compared to the feel of her fingers tangled in my hair.The moment she straddled my lap on that couch, I was done for.
But feelings and relationships were new territory for me.And this woman, she deserved everything.Especially after the way that piece of shit husband treated her.
Struck with a thought, I gripped her by the shoulders and broke our kiss.I pushed her back just enough to look her in the eyes.
“Are you still married?”
“Technically?Yes.”
“Technically?”
“I had divorce papers drawn up, but I haven't seen Ethan in months.I can't get ahold of him.He's been avoiding me at all costs.”
“Fucking coward.”Anger bubbled up inside me.This Ethan guy was a real piece of work.Avoiding Olivia, dodging divorce papers—it was pathetic.
