Then Mel's voice cut through the moment, bringing reality crashing back.“Everything's looking great, Olivia.The baby's size is right on track, and the heartbeat is strong and steady.”
It was right on track last time,a traitorous voice whispered in my head.Right up until it wasn't.
“Are you sure?”I asked, wincing at the sound of my small, scared voice.“There's nothing wrong?”
Mel gave me a gentle, understanding smile.“I'm sure, Olivia.Your little one is perfect.”
I stared fixedly at the screen.I wanted to believe her.But the fear was still there, lurking beneath the surface.
“Now,” Mel continued, a hint of excitement in her voice, “would you like to know the sex?”
Carter and I exchanged a look.We'd discussed this, had gone back and forth about whether we wanted to know or be surprised.In the end, curiosity had won out.
“Yes,” Carter said, his voice steady even as his hand trembled in mine.“We want to know.”
Mel grinned, moving the wand slightly.“Well then, congratulations.You're having a boy.”
I turned to Carter, tears trickling down my cheeks.Joy and fear battled for dominance in his expression.He leaned in, pressing his forehead against mine.
“A boy,” he whispered, his voice choked with emotion.“We're having a son.”
I nodded, unable to form words.Images cascaded through my mind.A little boy with Carter's stormy eyes and my unruly hair.Teaching him to walk, to read, to ride a bike.Watching him grow into a man as kind and strong as his father.
But with those happy visions came the darker ones.The fear of history repeating itself threatened to choke me.
“Olivia?”Mel said.“Are you okay?”
“I'm fine,” I lied, my voice trembling.
Carter's brow furrowed, his thumb catching a tear I hadn't realized had fallen.“Sunny...”
“Really, I'm okay,” I insisted, sitting up and reaching for a tissue to wipe the gel off my belly.“It's wonderful news.I'm just...a little overwhelmed by it all.”
Mel and Carter exchanged a significant look.I busied myself with pulling my shirt down, avoiding their eyes.I knew they saw through my act, knew they were worried about me.But I couldn't bring myself to articulate my fears.
“Why don't you get dressed,” Mel suggested.“Then we can talk about what comes next, okay?”
I nodded, grateful for the moment to compose myself.As I slipped off the exam table, Carter's hand steadied me.His touch was both comforting and overwhelming.I wanted to lean into him, to let him hold me and tell me everything would be okay.But I was afraid if I did, I'd fall apart completely.
Once I was dressed, we settled into the chairs across from Mel's desk.Carter took my hand again, intertwining our fingers.I focused on that point of contact, using it to center myself as Mel went over the details of the ultrasound.
“Olivia”—Mel's gentle, firm voice pulled me back to reality—“I know you're scared.After everything you've been through, it's natural to be anxious.But I need you to hear me when I say this: You're healthy, the baby is healthy, and we're monitoring you closely.”
“I know,” I whispered.“I wish I could stop these worries creeping in.”
“I want you to consider talking to someone about your anxiety.It's understandable given your history, but it's important to manage it, both for your sake and the baby's.”
“I...okay,” I conceded, my voice barely audible.“Maybe talking to someone would help.”
Carter gripped my hand tighter.“Whatever you need.”
I nodded, so grateful for his unwavering support.As we left Mel's office, a tiny flutter in my belly caught me off guard.It was too early for proper kicks, but I knew it was our son making his presence known.
Hope bloomed in my chest, pushing back the shadows of fear.I placed my hand over the spot, a small smile forming on my lips.
“What is it?”Carter asked.
“I think...I think he moved,” I whispered.“Our little boy.”
