Though Fia’s not mypartnerin the traditional sense, we both know she’s more than myfriend. Truthfully, I don’t know what we are. But the thing I love most about Fia, other than the blissful orgasms she gives me, is how neither of us feels the need to define whatever this is. All we know is that we’re here for each other when we need it, but we also have our own lives.
"You're forgiven. Now let’s get changed. Quinn’s meeting us there."
“For real?”
I nod.
“Hell yeah! I miss him.”
We both jump into action, trying on several different outfits before we’re satisfied with our choices, littering our bedroom floors in the process. When we’re ready, we head to the club where I told Quinn we’d meet him.
Quinn is my sister, Lou’s, soon-to-be brother-in-law. His brother Sam introduced us a couple of years ago when he was planning a surprise date for my sister and needed our help. We’ve been friends ever since. Ironically, we hung out with the same big circle of party-goers in the city for years, but never actually met. Or maybe we did, but we were both too drunk to remember. That is a possibility.
That’s the thing about the Twin Cities; it’s small enough that it feels like a tight-knit community, but big enough that you can still constantly meet new people.
My friendship with Quinn, unlike my friendship with Fia, is not sexual in any way. He’s all gay, all the way. But he’s just as big of a hoe as I am, so we get each other on a level that not everyone else does. And to top it all off, he’s an insanely talented DJ. Best in the Twin Cities, if you ask me.
He doesn’t have any events he’s working tonight, so instead of having me screaming up at him from the dance floor to play my favorite songs, he gets to be right in the mess with us.
The DJ is playingmy new obsession song. I’m so close to the speakers that I can’t hear anything but the music and my own thoughts. As I move my body to my own rhythm, I feel myself bumping into the people around me, but the drugs make me numb, and my eyes are closed, so it’s like it’s just me in this room.
My thoughts swirl around my head, but I let them whiz by without so much as a second glance. I don’t want to deal with any of my emotions right now. I don’t want to feel anything but bliss. I especially don’t want to feel the pang of sadness that’s beating at my chest.
Fuck off, I tell it.
I slip further into my numb place, ignoring it.
Or at least trying to, until Kass’s obnoxiously handsome face pops into my mind. And not just his face, his chiseled, tatted body, and his hands, too. His hands are on my waist, warm but assertive, like he’s claiming me. He pulls me close, and I can smell him.
But it’s not his cologne. It’s something more pungent and off-putting. Not the subtly masculine scent I spend days wrapped up in.
I open my eyes and confirm it was just a trick that my traitorous mind was playing on me. There’s a man standing in front of me, grabbing my hips and swaying his along with mine.
I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. I go to push him off of me, but he lets me go first, likely sensing my aversion to him.
“Shit. Are you crying?” He wrinkles up his face like he smells sewer gas and backs away from me.
What the actual fuck?
I pat my face and sure as shit, it’s wet. Was I crying over my lucid dream? Humiliation washes over me, and I frantically turn to find my friends. Fia and Quinn are right behind me, looking on with questioning looks.
“What’s wrong with him?” Quinn asks. “Looked like he was into you, then he just bailed like a weirdo.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I think I’m gonna head home.”
Fia grabs my arm, looking me in the eyes. “Come on. Don’t let one idiot ruin your night. You’re B-mother-fucking-Blake.” She shakes me to emphasize her point.
Usually, I’d be cracking up at her encouragement, but I don’t laugh. I can’t.
I feel nothing.
“I think the drugs just hit wrong, and I’m getting tired.” I have to yell over the speaker for her to hear me.
She must see something in my expression because she nods and doesn’t argue any further. “Okay, let’s go home and have a nightcap. Quinn, you want to join us?”
“What?” he yells back.
He leans over, and we fill him in on the plan. He must decline because he gives Fia a quick hug before waving goodbye and blowing me a kiss. I respond with my usual middle finger, and he winks before turning to the guy next to him.
