“No!” Mason shook his head quickly, refusing to even imagine it. “I can’t! No one else knows and no one else ever will!” Theonlyperson Mason had told was Sarina. She had kept his secret since they were fourteen but now, Sky knew as well.
“I don’t think it would be that bad. Everyone loves you and I think they’d all want you to be happy, even if they didn’t completely get it or like it.”
He shook his head. “It’s not happening. Not now. My dad just retired! He’s waitedyearsfor me to finish school and get my software company off the ground so he could step aside and manage my campaign.”
“What campaign?” Sarina laughed. “Who else would runfor mayor? You’re the only choice as far as Roseview is concerned.”
“Unless something came out about me that was really bad.”
“But this isn’t bad! Look at Sky. Everyone’s known most of his life and he survived.”
“Did you forget about the part where he was practically exiled by your parents and why no one would talk about him until after…” Mason cleared his throat suggestively.
“That wasn’t Sky’s fault and everyone knows that now.” She sniffed angrily. “He wasn’t run out of town when he came back and you wouldn’t be either.”
“Right! But would they vote for him?” Mason countered. “I was raised for this, Sina! Sure, no one else is going to run, but I’ve been waiting for it to be my turn to go door-to-door and shake all my neighbors’ hands and tell them why they should trust me. Not because I’m the next Cartwright and they’ve always voted for Cartwrights. I want them to seemeand all the things I want to do. If I come out, that’s all I’ll be to them and it’ll tank my chances.”
“You don’t know that!” Sarina argued. “They’ve known you your whole life and?—”
“Have they? What if they can’t get past me lying to them for that many years and realize they don’t really know me?”
“I don’t think you’re being fair, to Roseview or yourself.”
Mason nodded. “You’re probably right but I’m not ready to risk it. Especially now, when you need my help.” He took her hand and hugged it against his chest. “I might have an idea that could fix most of our problems.”
Chapter Two
It was a shame that they had already covered his father’s casket with dirt, Sky would have happily crawled into the hole and let them bury him. Not because of any feelings he had in regards to his father and their abysmal relationship, but because Sky had never felt more miserable or mortified in his entire existence as he regained consciousness and took stock of his actions.
Getting trashed and sobbing like a baby in front of everyone was bad enough. He wasn’t sure how many times he had asked why his father had never loved him. The sympathetic grimaces would be burned into his memory.
“No! No, no, no, no, no! Fuck, no!” Sky rolled and screamed into his pillow when he remembered coming upstairs with Mason. Time was always soupy when he was drunk so it took Sky several moments to reorient himself and figure out what had happened andwhen.
What had possessed Sky to tell his first and lifelong crush that he was the dorm doorknob and that nearly every closeted gay and bi man on campus had taken a turn?
“Oh, fuck me!” He reached for the alarm clock and considered taking it into the shower but it was battery operated. “I tried to go down on him!”
Why, why, why?
Of course, Sky knew why. He was a horny, needy bottom and sex helped calm him and provided better, steady proprioceptive and vestibular input than bouncing on a yoga ball, a punching bag, or flapping could. And it was a lot more fun.
There was also the fact that Mason was—and always had been—Sky’s ideal man in every way. Unlike the jackals that had raised Sky, Mason had been brought up in anormal, loving home and believed it was his duty to look out for everyone. Being attractive, tall, broad-shouldered, and naturally athletic made it even easier for everyone to like Mason. But it was his unfailing kindness and selflessness that made him beloved by all. He even looked like a soft, warm place to hide with his reddish brown waves and gentle hazel eyes.
To make matters worse, Mason hadn’t freaked out or yelled at Sky. He kissed him back and it was really hot, if Sky remembered correctly. He didn’t think his wine and scotch-soaked brain had imagined Mason’s hard-on or how into it he was until he suddenly wasn’t.
“Is he secretly bi? He must be…” Sky mused into his pillow.
Despite being popular and the homecoming king, Mason had never been a player and Sky could only remember him dating a few girls. Everyone assumed he and Sarina were on-again, off-again but Sky had never seen them behave in anything other than a platonic manner. That didn’t really mean anything, knowing Mason. He was genuinely wholesome and did his best to live up to his “golden boy” reputation. Mason had always put others’ needs before his and honestly enjoyed public service, volunteering for anything he could and starting numerous fundraisers while they were in school.
Because he was so sweet and wholesome, Sky had just assumed that Mason was straight and vanilla. Having slept with his share of “straight” guys, Sky was surprised that he hadn’t picked up that kind of vibe from Mason before. Then again, Sky had been away at school the last few years and hadn’t really paid attention when he was home, generally preferring to disassociate while he was back and staying with his parents.
Reading people wasn’t one of Sky’s strongest skills, either. He’d had decades to familiarize himself with Sarina’s and Mason’s communication patterns but he often took people too literally and missed nonverbal cues. His mother had always chalked it up to him being too sensitive and hyper fixated on his interests and lamented his “overthinking” and “weirdness.”
Being out and decent-looking had eased Sky’s way when he arrived at Columbia. He leaned into his weird, artsy, brainy tendencies and dressed like a moody skater because that was almost impossible to screw up. As Sky had bragged, the closeted or “DL” guys came to him, eager to exchange numbers and arrange discreet hookups. For a neurodivergent nerd, that was a godsend and Sky’s sex life was thriving without him having to be “normal” or sociable.
Good for Sky but why the fuck did he feel the need to share that with Mason?
Mason had asked but knowing himself, Sky had probably misread some sarcasm or disbelief and overshared. All the alcohol had obviously caused Sky to lose all sense and maul Mason.
