“Of course I hated you, I wanted you and couldn’t have you,” he said, pulling me hard against his chest. “Hating you was the only way I stayed sane enough to not kiss you every second of the day. Life never went back to normal, Evie. My life became you. Day and night, I was only thinking of you and what you needed—what you wanted—how I could fix every issue you had. The crush never went away, it grew until one day I woke up and realized I would never be able to live without you.”
“And now you want to. You don’t want to tell anyone we might be together.”
“No, I don’t want to tell anyone because you might be taken from me if I do.”
“Don’t lie to me. You are also scared I’m going to change my mind. You said it earlier, it’s why I left.”
He ran a hand down my face before taking a step back.
“I said that because I was angry. I thought you were trying to ruin things to protect yourself and in my defense, you have donethat. I shouldn’t have said it, though. I fucked up and I know it, but I’m here because I would like to un-fuck-it-up.”
“Why? You don’t even want this,” I said, waving a hand between us.
“I do want this,” he ground out, his voice wrecked. “I wantyou. But if I say that—if I let myselfhaveyou—” His fingers wove into my hair, his hand fisting like he was struggling so bad he had to hold me back. “I won’t survive losing you.”
My chest rose and fell in sharp, ragged breaths.
“That’s your excuse?” I whispered. “That you’re too scared?”
His jaw tightened. “I’m not scared oflovingyou, Evie. I’m scared of what happens when I fuckingloseyou. If we blow up what we have now, and then you choose someone else—I don’t know how I would make it.”
I swallowed hard, heat curling through me, anger and wanting mixing into something dangerous.
“Look around, Aiden,” I murmured, pressing my palms flat against his chest. “You already have me. And now you’re already losing me.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. His hand slid down my neck and arm until his fingers tightened on my waist, pulling me flush against him. His chest rose and fell fast—exactly like mine, always in sync.
“We keep doing this,” he rasped, his forehead nearly touching mine. “Back and forth.”
“Because you can’t decide if you want to break the rules and be with me or be the loyal second-in-command. That isn’t my fault.”
“I’ve never had so much in my life,” he said. “You know I’ve never had a family that wanted me. You know what Rook is going to say, what he might do. I know the choice you would have. Are you really going to choose me over Rook? Over your family? I wouldn’t let you lose them.”
“You really think Rook would tell you to go?”
“Yeah,” he said, his grip tightening on me. “I do.”
“Maybe that won’t be his decision.”
“I’ve lied. I crossed lines he asked me not to. He deserves to make the choice. And what if that happens?” He leaned in, so close he could kiss me, but he didn’t.
A wave of sadness washed over me, knowing how badly he wanted to protect us—and how terrified he was of losing even one of us. I couldn’t imagine the world without him. He had never had a family that wanted him, and the thought of how much I’d threatened what he’d built made my stomach twist. Choosing him had never even been a question.
It wasn’t even a question if Rook and the rest of the pack would choose him—even in this mess, they would all choose to keep him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I wanted to tell him everything—how much I needed him, how close I’d come to giving up—but the words caught in my throat. One wrong move and it could all collapse. My pulse hammered in my ears as I realized I didn’t care. I only wanted him. “I am choosing you. Right now. Yesterday, years before that. Ialwayschoose you.”
There was a beat of silence, thick and heavy, the world narrowing to only the two of us and the hum of the bike beneath us. My body already ached for him, heat pooling low, need radiating from every nerve.
His arm looped around me, pulling me impossibly close, hiships pressing into me. His lips crashed against mine, rough and insistent, and I melted into him instantly. The kiss was fire, heat, desperation—the kind that made knees weak and breath ragged. I groaned, letting my hands wander across his back, memorizing the hard planes beneath my fingers.
He reached down, hands slipping under me to lift before settling me on his lap as he sat on the bike.
I pressed against him, hips instinctively rolling, trying to match his rhythm. His grip was firm but not relentless, holding me in place as our bodies moved together.
“Are you choosing me right now?” he asked, his voice a whisper.
I nodded, pressing my lips back against his, deepening the kiss.
