I sound like a romantic fool.
It was simply that everything he knew about her, every time he saw her and talked to her, he liked her more and more. The evident affection she had for her uncle, to say nothing of her sisters and parents, even the charming way she teased him, her excellent manners which, while not those of fashionable society, were perfectly polite and just as they should be, and…
Darcy quietly sighed. It was far too soon to have any completely fixed intentions about the lady, he knew that, but he had never been so affected by a woman before, and itmustmean something significant. He was not some silly youth whose feelings overran his sense. He was a man grown, one who had been contemplating matrimony even before meeting Miss Elizabeth, not only because of the situation with his sister, but because he was prepared to be a husband and father. He wanted to be settled and share Pemberley with a wife he loved, to have children to fill his home with their giggles.
Elizabeth Bennet might not have fortune or connexions, but Darcy believed she would give him the greatest gifts of all: happiness, friendship, and her devoted care and attention for the rest of their days. More and more, he saw no reason not to pursue her, should his feelings remain unchanged once they had known each other just a little while longer.
CHAPTERTWENTY
Over the next days, Elizabeth spent a considerable amount of time staring at the pages of a book or out the window of her bedchamber, trying to make sense of the wariness and excitement she experienced at introducing Mr Darcy to her uncle. She could notinviteMr Darcy to call while Mr Gardiner was at Longbourn, but she had especially wanted them to meet and like each other, and for Mr Darcy to see that her uncle was worthy of esteem. There was nothing wrong in that, yet she hardly knew Mr Darcy, and his opinion should not matter to her as much as it did.
And now William is coming home. He will be here in just a few days, and they will meet!
Elizabeth was particularly nervous about this, more so than she had been about Mr Darcy meeting her uncle. Some of William’s mannerisms could give people who did not know him an unfavourable impression. Mr Darcy was someone William would naturally admire, given his social standing and wealth. When the gentleman’s noble bearing and handsomeness were added, William, never confident in himself, would see him as a superior. It might make him overly deferential. While no one would suggest William was the brightest mind of his generation, he was educated and had good understanding. Yet, he struggled to believe it at times. On the other hand, if William’s journey had been as successful as his letters suggested, he might feel more self-assured and approach Mr Darcy—and Mr Bingley—as enough of an equal to offer them friendship rather than subservience. That would be preferable, as long as her cousin remembered to stop talking and let other people have their share in the conversation upon occasion.
Her feelings led her to avoid talking about William’s impending arrival and offering no opinion on the dinner party Mrs Bennet was arranging to welcome him home. Since he was expected on a Saturday, her mother was determined to have the gathering the same day, rather than put it off until the following Monday.
When Elizabeth made an admittedly satiric remark about their mother’s haste to Jane, her sister was visibly taken aback.
“Lizzy, you know very well that she is excited to see him, especially since she anticipates him having good news about a living. She has pinned her hopes on him finding a position that allows him to support a wife and family.”
Elizabeth held up a hand to emphasise her agreement and forestall any greater explanation. “I-I know. It is her haste I find…irritating. It is not just the party. I do not know why she insists that the wedding has to be so soon. Even if he begins a post by the end of the year, it does not mean he also has to take a wife by then. Why not let him settle into his new duties for six months or a year first?”
Elizabeth’s cheeks burned, especially when Jane tilted her head to the side and regarded her with a puzzled expression.
“I am surprised to hear you speak thus, especially that you feel so strongly about it. We have spoken of the desirability of avoiding such a delay ever since William took orders, and you never disagreed.”
“I suppose it did not seem quite real, but now that he might actually have a living, might be removing elsewhere within the next two months, the situation has changed.”
“Has it?”
Elizabeth refused to answer her. What could she say that Jane would understand? Given that the union had long been accepted by the family, Jane would give no credence to Elizabeth’s concerns, and she did not want to enter into a disagreement with her beloved sister. There was nothing to do other than accept that what would happen would happen, and she could not change it.
* * *
By the time of the party, Elizabeth’s mood had improved. Seeing William again, looking as well as he ever did, revived her, even though they had had little time for private conversation before preparing to greet the guests. A part of her wanted to provide him with advice, perhaps bordering on instruction, on what to say and do when meeting Mr Darcy and the Bingleys. She knew it was unfair to William to think he needed it, but she wanted them to like each other.
As they heard the footsteps of the first arrivals in the corridor outside the drawing room, William squeezed her elbow and whispered, “I have so much to talk to you about. I am not sure what to do, and I rely on your excellent guidance.”
Before he could continue, Elizabeth interjected, “You know I shall listen and give you my honest opinion.”
Not long after William had first come to live at Longbourn, Elizabeth had remarked on his awkward, overly eager to please manner to her father, adding that he often seemed afraid, especially of Mr Bennet. He had gently explained that William’s father had been hard and abusive. That was the moment Elizabeth determined she would do what she could for her cousin, helping him to understand he deserved respect and affection, and did not need to earn it from them. Over the years, she had largely succeeded, though she had yet to cure him of indecision. His present need for her assistance was not a surprise, although Elizabeth felt as though a weight settled on her shoulders at his words.
The Lucases were announced. If Elizabeth was disappointedsomeone elsehad not arrived first, she kept it to herself. Charlotte joined William and Elizabeth, and other neighbours soon arrived, and the drawing room filled with voices. She noticed when Mr Darcy and the Bingleys made their appearance. Mr Darcy’s eyes met hers briefly, and as always seemed to happen, Elizabeth felt an uncommon spark, but she brushed it aside in order to maintain her equanimity.
Mr Darcy was soon occupied with several young gentlemen, and Elizabeth’s attention was too often captured watching him. It was more agreeable than listening to Charlotte’s never-ending questions. Had Charlotte not acknowledged that she had no chance of securing William’s affections? Elizabeth could only suppose she wanted to show him, Elizabeth, and the entire Bennet family that she was not bitter and wanted to be known as his friend.
Mrs Bennet’s voice pulled her from her reflections. “Oh, no, I have nothingparticularto announce today. It is too soon for that, though I hope we shall have news soon. For now, we shall celebrate having our William home again. He is almost as dear to me as a son, you know. Very soon, I shall be able to call him that, and no one will be able to say I should not. Mr Bennet was very clever to take him in all those years ago. I need not worry some horrid person will inherit Longbourn and evict me when Mr Bennet dies.”
Elizabeth suppressed a groan. Her mother had expressed the same sentiment more times than she could count. It was true that the connexion to William meant Mrs Bennet and any unmarried daughters would be allowed to remain at Longbourn when he inherited the estate, but Mrs Bennet did not need to say it. It made it seem as if she had no true affection for him, which Elizabeth knew was not true. They all loved him.
At dinner, Elizabeth sat between William and Charlotte’s brother John Lucas. The gentlemen were good company, but she wished a different man had Mr Lucas’s place. Mr Darcy frequently looked at her, and he appeared puzzled. It almost seemed that his mood soured the longer the meal took.
What could possibly confuse him about her? Very likely she was mistaken, and if not, there was nothing she could do about it. Refusing to think of it longer lest it distract her into rudeness, she listened to William’s story of the coach ride to Oxford and studied the people across from her. Mr Bingley was beside Jane, and everything suggested he was just as attentive as ever. If he continued on that way much longer, Elizabeth suspected her sister would soon be very much in love with him. Elizabeth was delighted for her. Jane deserved someone who would devote himself to her happiness, and it would be quite marvellous to know that her sister was the mistress of an estate like Netherfield Park!
During the separation of the sexes, she found herself once again in conversation with Charlotte.
“Mr Bingley shows every sign of liking Jane,” she said, echoing Elizabeth’s observations at the table. “I do not mind admitting to you that I envy her. He is rich, handsome, and friendly, and his sister is amiable too. It would be a great thing for Jane, if she can secure him.”
