Bile rose in Darcy’s throat, and he feared he would have to make a hasty retreat to vomit. Of all the places Mr Collins could find a living, it had to be fromhisaunt? Darcy would have to seehisElizabeth, the first woman he loved and wanted as his wife—and likely the only one he ever would—married to another man? Every visit to Rosings would be torture.
Dear God, let me become violently ill before dinner tomorrow so that I can avoid seeing them! It was bad enough when I knew their marriage had happened, but to meet her, to be required to call her bythatname? How can I bear it?
Darcy went through the rest of Friday and Saturday morning and afternoon in a haze. It was a struggle to attend to his duties, so much so that the steward asked whether he was well. Darcy only nodded and insisted they continue. It had become vitally important that he finish the work and depart Kent as soon as possible. Darcy dreamt of going away. Anywhere would do, as long as he did not have to see anyone he knew.
Perhaps I shall go to the Lakes for the spring and summer. I can take Georgiana. She has never been.
By the following year, he might be able to face seeing Elizabeth Bennet—he could not think of her as Mrs Collins—installed at the parsonage, a mother to another man’s children.
At present, there was no avoiding the meeting, and he prepared for dinner almost as though he was going to a funeral. He was tempted to throw a large quantity of alcohol down his throat in the hope that it would help him cope with the evening ahead, but he did not. With his luck, he would inadvertently blurt out something that ought never to be said.
The dreaded moment arrived, and his aunt, cousin, and he were in the drawing room, waiting for Mr and Mrs Collins to walk upstairs and be announced. Darcy’s spine was so stiff, it was beginning to ache, as was his jaw, which he had clenched so that his expression would not betray his feelings.
The door opened, the guests entered, and Darcy swayed, only just managing not to fall to his knees.
CHAPTERFORTY-THREE
It was notElizabethBennet who had married her cousin, it wasCatherineBennet!
Darcy laboured to catch his breath. As though through a dense forest, he heard Mr Collins speak.
“Mr Darcy! What a surprise this is. My dear, you remember Mr Darcy?”
“Of course I do. How do you do, sir?”
There was something different about Miss Catherine’s—Mrs Collins’s—voice. It was somehow less youthful, steadier. Even several weeks as a wife had already affected an alteration in her, and when Darcy’s vision and mind cleared enough to take in what was about him, he saw that her appearance also had matured, though she was still clearly a very young woman. He believed she was only seventeen, and he briefly wondered that Mr and Mrs Bennet had allowed her to marry, but at the moment, his chief concern was understanding how it came about that he was seeing her and not her older sister.
“I had no idea Lady Catherine’s nephew, about whom she has said so much, was a gentleman I have previously had the pleasure of meeting,” Mr Collins said.
“You have? Darcy, how do you know my parson?” Lady Catherine demanded.
Aware he was babbling, Darcy said, “Longbourn, Mr Bennet’s estate, the-the father of Mrs Collins, which is where Mr and Mrs Collins previous resided, is neighbour to the one Mr Bingley rented last autumn.”
Saying his friend’s name caused an immediate sinking sensation in Darcy’s stomach. The resulting wave of dizziness left him surreptitiously leaning against the side of the nearest chair. “H-how do you do? Please accept my congratulations on your marriage,” he said to the Collinses.
A light blush on her cheeks, Mrs Collins thanked him prettily.
When she turned to her husband, such a look of joy overcame her face. When Mr Collins returned it, Darcy was both envious and convinced that theirs truly was a love match.
Lady Catherine tapped her stick on the floor. She always kept it near at hand, despite claiming she did not require it. “Yes, yes, that is all very nicely done, but I want to know when you met. Sit.” She gestured at the sofa across from her as she settled into her preferred chair.
Darcy gratefully fell into a chair and proceeded to listen as the Collinses spoke of the autumn. Both were sufficiently garrulous that he was not called upon to add much to the story. They were soon called into dinner, and he got through it as well as he could. He was anxious to talk to Mrs Collins privately, having decided it might be easier to get her to speak freely than her husband. There was something decidedly wrong about the situation, and he was beginning to dread what answers he would find as he began to sort through what had transpired and how he had come to believe Miss Elizabeth was married to Mr Collins.
But first, I must ascertain that Miss Elizabeth is free. If she is, everything changes. I shall travel to Meryton at once, and discover whether she could possibly like me enough to make me the happiest man in the world. Surely after the misery I have experienced these last weeks, I shall have a claim to the title if I can convince her to be mine!
When Lady Catherine proposed leaving him and Mr Collins alone at the conclusion of the meal, he almost leapt from his seat, saying, “Mr Collins, you will agree we should join the ladies. It is only the two of us, after all.”
He turned to Mrs Collins to escort her and was thus able to direct her to a quiet corner of the large, formal space.
“I do not believe I have yet enquired about your parents and sisters. They are well, I hope.”
Mrs Collins grinned and nodded. “I suppose they are. They were when we last saw them, and Lydia and Mama write to me regularly. Well, Mama does. Lydia says she has little time for it, but I think she is just lazy. She was terribly angry with me for getting married, which I do not think was at all kind of her. She knew I intended to have William and that we were only waiting for him to secure a living. William and I were married just before Christmas, you know, and then removed to the parsonage, so I have not seen any of them in several weeks. I have been so busy with my darling husband and making sure the house is exactly how I want it that I have not had a great deal of time to concern myself with them.”
“But when you did, they were well?” he said, hoping to redirect her and extract the information he was seeking.
“Oh, yes. Everyone was so excited about the wedding, none more than me and my dear husband, of course! We have been hoping for months that William would find a position. Papa would not allow us to marry unless he knew William could afford a wife and family.Iwas willing to suffer anything necessary, even living on a very small income, but since I am so young, Papa insisted we wait.”
“Then your attachment to your cousin is of some duration?” Fortunately, she was not likely to find his curiosity offensive or recognise his indelicacy.
