“I know this is difficult for you, Darcy,” the colonel said. “I do not mean to cause you pain by reminding you that?—”
“I suspect if we tried very, very hard, we could discover a way for you to have the lady you want. Truly, I doubt it would be that difficult,” Bramwell said, sounding both sarcastic and indifferent.
Darcy scoffed and felt his face flush with heat. “Do you not think I have tried? Perhaps you have forgotten the endless discussions we had in the autumn, during which I offered suggestions and compromises only to be argued out of every single one of them. The simple fact is that my marrying Elizabeth is too much for Georgiana. Perhaps in five or ten years she will be sufficiently recovered, but by then, Elizabeth will be married, and I shall have lost my chance.”
He stood and went to the window, keeping his back to his cousins until he regained his composure. The only sound in the room was the rhythmic tick-tock of the mantel clock until Bramwell spoke.
“I met her the other evening. I like her.”
His voice less angry than previously, Fitzwilliam said, “So do I. Liking her or not has nothing to do with this.”
Darcy turned to face them.
Bramwell shrugged. Looking at Darcy, he asked, “Is it about trust? Do you trust her?” He held up a hand, palm outwards, to his brother to stop him from interrupting, presumably having seen him open his mouth. “I am sure to make a remarkable observation, and I shall not have you distract me. If you trust her, Darcy, why not tell her the truth? Once that is done,she and you, aided by your loyal and caring family, will find a way to reassure Georgiana that she is safe from the man whose name none of us care to say.”
“Georgiana is whom we are thinking of, in case you have forgotten!” Fitzwilliam barked. He stood and began to pace.
Directing his remark to Bramwell, Darcy said, “I am afraid of what my sister will do to herself.”
“As am I, truly. But this situation cannot go on. For one, someone with more of an outside perspective might make a difference. Not much else has this past year and a half. My mother will gladly have Georgiana to stay with her, but she is too inclined to treat her niece as a small child. I do not believe that is all Georgiana requires or even that it is good for her. For two, what aboutyourlife, Darcy?Youare the one who lives with her, andyouare the only one who is being called on to sacrifice something you want so much.”
It was a bizarre world in which his eldest cousin was the sympathetic, reasonable person. Darcy’s head had begun throbbing, and he rubbed his temples. Bramwell was saying just what he wanted to hear, and he was afraid to believe it.
Bramwell drained the last of his wine, stood, and took a step towards his brother. “Do us a favour and hold your tongue. Let our cousin decide what he wants to do. This isDarcy. He is not going to seek Miss Bennet out tonight and convince her to elope.” He stopped, his mouth hanging open. “That was not a well-chosen statement. My apologies. I meant there will be another occasion for you to share your opinions with him. Let us not confuse him by throwing too many ideas at him at once.”
Fitzwilliam sighed audibly and threw up his hands as though asking what else he could do. Both gentlemen wished Darcy a good night and left him alone.
Darcy returned to his seat and contemplated what Bramwell had said. In December, he had meant to tell Elizabeth the entire truth about Georgiana and why he had not returned to her, but she had not let him; instead, she had run away. Since coming to town, he had not been alone with her, and he could not speak of the matter in public. Should he convince her to meet him where they might talk freely so that he could share the sad tale—as he had begun to do when they danced—or would he do better to leave her alone, as was her apparent wish? It was not about trust, despite Bramwell’s suggestion. It was about…
“What exactly?” he murmured. “Hiding from what happened, finding it too difficult and embarrassing to disclose? Georgiana’s privacy? She would rather no one knew.”
The more appropriate answer would be fear—fear that it would damage Elizabeth’s impression of Georgiana and fear that it would not make a difference to her feelings for him, given all that had happened between them.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Elizabeth’s chief source of happiness was seeing how joyful Jane was, and the more she knew Bingley, the more she loved him. She also revelled in being in town and knew she would have been miserable had she remained at Longbourn. There was so much more to do in London and so many more people to spend her time with, all of which suited her wonderfully.
One afternoon in the third week of March, Elizabeth was in the park with several young people she had befriended. The weather was fair and more spring-like than winter-like, and she was glad to take advantage of it by strolling amongst the elm trees while getting to know her companions better. The sun was bright and just strong enough to warm one’s skin; she caught sight of several birds, and all was well with the world.
Then she saw Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy walking towards her.
Evidently, they did not notice her at first, being caught up in their own conversation, but when they were about twentyfeet away, Elizabeth could not mistake how the colonel’s features hardened or how Miss Darcy tightened her hold on him and seemed to cower, as though Elizabeth would harm her.
Her own steps faltered, and she felt her sense of peace sink to her feet. She had liked Colonel Fitzwilliam when they met the previous year. Knowing he disapproved of her marrying Mr Darcy made her rethink her good impression of him. She was also injured by Miss Darcy’s rejection, for she had seemed pleased by her brother’s interest in her when they were together in Derbyshire.
But because Lydia married Wickham,Imust suffer. If Lydia had been lost forever, I would understand, but I cannot see why I am rejected because of my connexion to him! It is not as though I intend to have anything to do with anyone by that name!
It was impossible to pass each other without speaking unless they wished to give a deliberate cut. Thus, Elizabeth approached the pair and curtseyed. “How do you do?”
Miss Darcy said nothing. She stood still, her eyes facing the ground, and clutched her cousin’s arm with both hands. Colonel Fitzwilliam glanced at his young charge before nodding at Elizabeth and returning her greeting.
“I see you are also taking advantage of the fair weather. I remember how much you enjoy walking.” His voice matched his stiff demeanour.
“So I do. It provides me with an excellent opportunity to spend time with some of the friendly people I have been so fortunate as to meet since coming to town. I ought to join them. I wish you both a good day.”
She offered the cousins a polite smile and quick nod before walking away, satisfied she had done her duty but nothing more. Once she had anticipated calling them family. Atpresent, she could only think of them as the sort of arrogant, disparaging people she despised.
Perhaps I ought not to be surprised. I have met Lady Catherine, and she is one of their closest relations. No doubt the remainder of their family is the same, even Viscount Bramwell, despite his seeming amiable. The sooner I forget all of them, the better.
