“Yououghtto hate me. I know you expected to marry my brother, and because I said I could not bear it, he did not propose. It must have made you very unhappy.”
Again, it was morehowMiss Darcy spoke rather than what she said that drew Elizabeth’s notice. She sounded as though shewantedElizabeth to be angry with her and blame her, but Elizabeth could not understand why.
“What purpose would that serve? Should I convince myself to despise you despite understanding why you do not want me as a sister-in-law? I am not so foolish as to think it will remain thus always, not unless I let it, and I shall not.” It was only after she fell silent that she realised what she had said. She had not wanted to admit she was unhappy, though if pressed, she would say it was only because she was at Pemberley and knew she ought not to have come.
Miss Darcy scratched at her arm, and Elizabeth almost took a step forwards, wanting to stop her, but she was afraid she would scare the girl.
“What he did to you was horrible! I cannot even imagine— I wish there was some way I could be of use to you. Perhaps the only way I can is to tell you I do not judge you or hate you. You should not judge or hate yourself,” she said.
Red splotches appeared on Miss Darcy’s face, and her entire body looked taut enough to snap in half if disturbed by the barest whisper of wind. “How can I not?”
Elizabeth longed to embrace her but only allowed herself a brief touch to direct Miss Darcy’s hand away from its task of digging into her skin. Speaking as softly and gently as she ever had in her life, Elizabeth said, “Because he was a grown man, and you were little more than a child. What did you know of the world compared to him?” Miss Darcy bristled at this, but Elizabeth continued, insisting on being heard. “Unfortunately, I have met the man. He excels at deceiving people, and he set out to use you. A lady older than you could easily be taken inby him and soon find herself behaving in a manner she knew was wrong.”
Her cheeks bright pink, Miss Darcy spun round and strode away. Elizabeth remained where she was a moment longer, her head bowed, rubbing her forehead and hoping she had not made Miss Darcy’s suffering worse.
All day, Darcy said silent prayers that he would find an occasion to speak to Elizabeth again, if only for a moment. Her unexpected visit had been a gift to him, a gift of time, but he knew his opportunities to have her to himself were rapidly diminishing. She and the Bingleys would depart soon, and he had no notion when they would next see each other.
His hopes were fulfilled shortly before dinner. Once prepared for the evening, he had gone to the drawing room, intending to be present whenever his guests or sister appeared. It was then that he noticed the clouds had cleared, and he stepped out to take the fresh air for a few minutes. Although intending to remain on the terrace, when he stood at its edge, he saw a figure on the stone path through the nearest garden, and his heart cried out that it was Elizabeth. Before he knew what he was about, he was walking towards her.
“I see you also decided to take advantage of the improving weather,” he said when they met.
“I did.” Her eyes were directed to the side rather than at him.
“If I recall correctly, it was close to here where we saw each other last year. I was never so surprised in my life. I knew at once that I must seize the moment to show you that I hadattended to the reproofs you so rightly gave me in Kent. Within a minute, I knew I wanted more than to demonstrate I could behave as a gentleman ought,” he said.
His wonderful Elizabeth offered him a smile that he interpreted as combining fond remembrance and sorrow. “I was surprised that you were so welcoming, despite how I had abused you the last time we met, that you were kind to my aunt and uncle, and…”
“Pray, go on.”
She shook her head, her dark curls gently swaying. “I should not. It serves no purpose.”
“Perhaps not, but I would still like to know.”
“It was all so long ago. So much has happened since then. Does it not feel like an age has passed?”
Something in her voice struck him, and he immediately thought of Mr Grey and how attentive he had been to her in town. Darcy leapt to the conclusion that he might have already offered for her, that she had promised herself to another, despite her lingering feelings for him, and his heart began to race.
But if she was engaged, Bingley would have told me!
No, he decided, she could not be betrothed, but possibly she was anticipating receiving a proposal soon. At present, he would not concern himself with the future; he would relish every second they had together.
“To me, it feels like it was only yesterday,” he said, meaning to imply that his love for her had not changed. That day, he had known that what he wanted most was to win her regard, and it was still true. “Will you walk with me? We have only a minute or two before the others come down.”
She hesitated, looking about them and evidently struggling with her response. “I-I should not. What if someone sees us?”
He knew she meant Georgiana. “My sister was still in her apartment when I came down, and she will not make an appearance until after everyone else has.”
Elizabeth regarded him for a long moment before nodding. They strolled side-by-side, Darcy adjusting his long stride to match hers. She kept her hands clasped behind her back, while his hung by his side, ever ready to reach for her should an excuse appear—perhaps an uneven stone or puddle she might need his support to traverse without getting wet. He glanced at her as often as he could while watching the path ahead of him.
For a minute or two, nothing was said. The simple act of being beside her calmed him in a way nothing else could, and as much as he wanted to clasp her hand and declare his love, he knew a serious conversation would drive her away. Besides, what he most wanted currently was to prolong the sense of peace he felt.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked. She gave him a puzzled look, and he explained. “This morning, at breakfast, I believe you had a headache. I recall you telling me last year that unsettled weather often left you feeling ill.”
Her eyes still on him, she graced him with a smile. “You remember that?”
“Of course I do.”
She blushed and averted her gaze. “You are correct about this morning, but it is gone now.” There was a slight pause before she continued. “Thank you for-for asking and remembering.”
