Miss Darcy lightly tapped her mouth, giving the impression she was contemplating Elizabeth’s answer. “If Mr and Mrs Bingley buy Larch Lane, you and my brother will see each other. How can you bear it?”
“What cannot be cured must be endured. It will become easier in time, and we shall both move on with our lives.” Elizabeth shrugged. She did not know why she was less inclined to hide her feelings from Miss Darcy than anyone else, even Jane. It was as though she understood the young woman would recognise the lie, or perhaps it was just that she thought Miss Darcy—who had been so cruelly deceived—should not be asked to tolerate similar behaviours again.
“I shall not allow them to bring your sister andhimhere orgo to see them when they are in the neighbourhood.” She spoke bravely, lifting her chin an inch or two.
Elizabeth laughed without humour. “You need have no worries. Jane will not admit them to her home, especially when I am there. Do you think anyone in my family rejoices in their union or would choose to associate with them if it were possible to avoid it? My father allows them into his presence only to protect our family’s reputation, including Lydia’s, though I am afraid she is too stupid to understand why it is necessary. I pity my sister and dread the day she understands the sort of man she has married. Do you want to know whom I truly blame for my unhappiness, because as I said the other day, it isnotyou? I blame my parents for the ways they failed Lydia. And I blame him. I need not explain why. If you will excuse me, Miss Darcy, I have said too much and feel the need to…calm myself.”
She was just walking by her, when Miss Darcy spoke again, causing Elizabeth’s steps to falter.
“You could make him marry you. It would take nothing.”
Elizabeth did not know what to say, and after a brief pause, managed only, “I beg your pardon?”
“My brother. He loves you. I used to think he would forget you and find another lady, but now I am not certain that is true.”
“A lady more worthy of him?” A heaviness behind her eyes told Elizabeth she was in danger of crying. It was a weakness she did not wish to show in front of Miss Darcy.
With an impatient shake of her head, Miss Darcy said, “I care nothing for that sort of thing. I know that is what Lady Catherine said, and probably Lord and Lady Romsley think similarly, butIdo not. I see now that I was mistaken. Mybrother cares for you very deeply, and I am sure he wants to marry you.”
Elizabeth happened to know that he had held that view not very long ago, and she had no reason to suppose his wishes had changed. She could not speak and said a silent plea that Miss Darcy would soon reach an end to whatever she wished to impart so that they could separate.
“You could, oh, I do not know.” Miss Darcy stepped a little closer to Elizabeth. “He agreed not to ask you last autumn, but now I understand it was only because I frightened him and asked him not to. I do not believe what my aunt said had any effect on him. Hewouldmarry you. Do you not love him?”
Elizabeth blinked several times in a last, futile attempt to stave off the evidence of just how much she felt. “It isbecauseI love him that I shall not, as you say, make him marry me. It would tear him in half to be the cause of your unhappiness. How could I knowingly do that to him? Why would I act in a way that would makeyoumiserable, when you have already suffered enough?”
Miss Darcy’s chin quivered, and blotches appeared on her face.
“What happened to you was horrible, and I cannot imagine what it has been like for you. Naturally, your brother—and the colonel and your entire family—are concerned for you. I will not do anything to make the situation worse for you and thus for them.” Elizabeth was conscious of their conversation traversing some of the same ground as their earlier one, but it was apparent the poor girl needed reassurance and to be told that she was not at fault for the violence and betrayal she had experienced. “I am only sorry I did not find a way to prevent my brother, sister, and I coming to Pemberley. I had hopedwhen Mr Darcy raised no objection, it meant you would not find it distressing.”
Fat tears fell down Miss Darcy’s cheeks, and Elizabeth felt several of her own falling too. She would embrace her young companion, but she did not believe Miss Darcy would allow it or receive the comfort she wanted to give. They stood, not two feet apart, for several long minutes, until Miss Darcy walked away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Rather than return to the house, Elizabeth extended her time in the open air. She did not want to encounter Jane until she had regained her composure.
When she saw Colonel Fitzwilliam walking towards her, she wished she had gone to her chamber. She brusquely nodded and walked past him, but he called her name. She stopped and turned to regard him, arching her brow in invitation for him to say what he liked.
“Will you not walk with me? We strolled together often enough in Kent.”
Elizabeth was incredulous. “A great deal has changed since then. I was under the impression you had no desire to see me, let alone speak to me.”
His countenance took on a light dusting of colour. “I regret that. We were always friends.”
She laughed, infusing it with more humour than she felt. “Do you know, Mr Wickham said almost exactly that to mewhen he brought my sister to Longbourn.” She could see her arrow had hit its mark, and while that was satisfying, she more kindly added, “Unlike him, I believe you are an honourable man, Colonel, and you have done what you considered best for Miss Darcy. But I cannot pretend not to feel it. Do you truly expect me to wander the paths, perhaps make the occasional remark on the fineness of the view or how I have spent the last few months, as though nothing has happened? It is far too much to ask of me.”
“You say you understand, but your demeanour suggests otherwise.” He spoke as if challenging her, and she responded in kind.
“Very well. Iacceptthat you and others in your family believed your cousin would be wrong to marry me, given how greatly the thought of it distressed Miss Darcy. While I do not agree that she has any reason to fear me or that she would have to see that despicable man, Iunderstandshe cannot view the situation as I do. What I shall never comprehend is why you acted towards me as you did whenever we saw each other last winter.”
“Why were you there?”
“In town?” He nodded once, and she continued. “Surely you know I went to be with my sister. If you next ask why I am here, I assure you, it is not out of some nefarious plot to ensnare Mr Darcy or entice him to propose. What manner of person do you think I am? I wish we had not come to Pemberley, but I genuinely did not know how much it would disturb Miss Darcy’s peace. Was there something else you wished to say to me, or might I continue my walk?”
He regarded her for a moment. “It would be better if you and your family left as soon as possible.”
“My sister and I agree with you.”
“Good. Iwilldo everything in my power to protect Georgiana.”
