She turned her gaze to Budge, who was lying down, his eyes half closed, and continued to stroke him. “I have always quite liked them.”
“Do you have any pets of your own?”
“Not any longer. We used to have a cat, properly mymother’s, but she was free with her affection and often demanded attention from my sisters and me. Not unlike how this fine fellow is.” Budge gave a soft bark. “She died last winter. I suppose my mother will get another cat eventually, but it is too soon.”
“I am sorry,” he said with genuine feeling. “I know how much sorrow the loss of a beloved pet can cause.”
She said nothing at first and kept her eyes on Budge. Darcy watched her, a sense of peace gathering around him, whether it was from the beautiful place or the beautiful lady with him, he could not say.Or perhaps it is just because she is kind to my dog and has not yet fled my company.She had even sounded amiable when she addressedhim.
Standing, she said, “I ought to continue my walk.” Budge rolled over until he was half on her feet, causing her to chuckle and Darcy to silently promise him a treat for finding a way to delay her departure.
“I would like to apologise to you.”
Miss Elizabeth regarded him, her brow arching gently. “Am I to take your words as the apology?” Her tone was not angry or mocking, which was an improvement on their recent exchanges.
He shook his head. “I understand that for you to believe I am truly contrite and fully accept that I was mistaken at the assembly, I must do more than that. I must know you enough that I can truly feel and assert that I do not believe what I said of you that night. That is what you told me.” She nodded slowly. “I do not know how to go about it, but I would like to earn your forgiveness.”
“This is quite an alteration from our last conversation,” she said. “How do you explain it?”
He was certain if he touched his cheeks, his fingers would burn. “Perhaps I am not used to people telling me their honest opinion of my comportment. Since more than one person has informed me that I have not acted as I should, I would be a fool to overlook it, and once I admitted they were correct, what sort of person would I be if I did not seek to remedy the consequences of my actions?”
“Are you referring to my father? I know about him calling on you. I did not ask or expect him to.”
“It never occurred to me that he was there because you—Though, I suppose you had every reason to be upset and to want a public apology.” He paused, holding up a palm facing her. “I am beginning to babble. It was not just your father, to answer your question.”
“I doubt you are capable of babbling, Mr Darcy.” She smiled, her eyes bright with amusement, and he felt something inside him shift, acknowledging that it was not the first time he had experienced the sensation of late. He did not know what it meant, and this was hardly the time to sort it out.
He said, “I feel like I am, because I do not know what to say to you. Indeed, I am simply glad and grateful that you are speaking to me at all. Bingley. It was Bingley who also told me he thought I could be…more amiable. I do not know whether you are aware that his mother was from Hertfordshire.”
“Jane mentioned it lately. Near St Albans, if I recallcorrectly. That is where you have been these last few days, is it not?”
He nodded. “I ought to have known he would have told your sister. Theydoenjoy each other’s company.” He chuckled lightly and awkwardly. “Bingley finds it easy to make friends.Ido not.”
Miss Elizabeth coughed, and he had the impression it was to hide a laugh.
“None of his mother’s family lives there now, so Bingley did not care where in Hertfordshire he found an estate, but being here is important to him. It was something his father had planned to do. I refer to residing in the county, at least for a year or two, but he never did. His own people—and his business, while he still owned it—are in Yorkshire, and I suppose it was difficult to leave.” Darcy shrugged; with both of his parents dead, he understood the desire to do whatever was necessary to remember and honour them. In his case, he still saw both his father’s and mother’s relations regularly; the Bingleys knew only those of their father. Darcy also had Pemberley and the many memories of happy times they had spent there.
“I value Bingley’s friendship, and I understand I…did not present myself well at the assembly. I must apologise to you,” he said again, “but first I must know you. Only then would I be able to tell everyone who is aware of my remarks that I was mistaken, that my words then do not reflect how I view you. When we were at Lane Park, I was shocked that Mr Edward Best—who was not in attendance that night—knew of it, to say nothing of his willingness to speak of it to you.” He could not keep the anger from his voice. The impudence of the young man, the sheer thoughtlessness to refer to an event that might have, probably had, injured her was astonishing.
Miss Elizabeth gave a light laugh. “Since he fancies himself half in love with me, we must consider ourselves fortunate he did not challenge you to a duel. Though I have reason to hope he now believes he never had tender feelings for me and will leave me alone.”
He gaped at her and was on the point of asking whether she was serious when she again chuckled. “I am joking. I…do. Maybe more than I should. I tease and take pleasure in ridiculing the silly things we all do or say upon occasion.”
“I suppose you have laughed at me?”
She tilted her head to one side and gave him a pointed look that asked whether he genuinely wanted her to answer.
He did not and instead cleared his throat and said, “This is my dilemma. If I am to earn your forgiveness and that of the good people of the neighbourhood, I must first become more familiar with you. However, your father has forbidden you to be near me, and because of that, I cannot know you better.” He lifted his hands in a gesture that asked what he was supposed to do under these circumstances.
“I understand your predicament. I told my father he was taking the entire affair too seriously, but I have not seen him like this since I was a young girl. He has said nothing to indicate he has become less adamant that I avoid you.”
Darcy averted his gaze and did his best to suppress asigh. He had hoped Mr Bennet was beginning to think better of him, between the meeting they had both attended, his connexion to Frederick Darcy, and his behaviour at Lucas Lodge. His disappointment must have shown, and compassionate young lady that she was, she sought to alleviate it.
“I suppose we might happen to see each other upon occasion,” she said. “We met by chance this morning, for instance. There might be opportunities when we are at the same evening party, times when my father is not present or is distracted enough not to notice. Oh, but others would, and word would get back to him. I shall think on it further. What I mean to say is, perhaps we can find a way to speak a little. Enough that you can apologise in a manner that satisfies him.”
Satisfieshim? Was she suggesting it was Mr Bennet who had decreed what would make a genuine apology? Darcy had believed it was Miss Elizabeth who would decide whether he had done enough. He set aside the question of whom he must please in order to take advantage of the time she was currently willing to give him. Thus, he said, “I have begun the task of using whatever means are at my disposal and have discovered several things about you since we met in October—or did not meet, if you prefer. Today I learnt you are kind to animals—which I greatly admire—you are fond of walking, you play and sing charmingly?—”
She laughed. “There is no need to flatter me, sir.”
