We put our Ray-Bans on, and he helps me out of the car. Istop pouting.
“During dinner, the night we met, Iasked you what your favourite thing in the world was. You remember what you said?”
Even if Ididn’t remember or like them anymore, looking up at this place, the answer would be pretty obvious. “Horror movies. Aw, you remembered.”
“I’ve never forgotten anything about you, Mads. Icollected everything Ilearned. You like?”
The horror-themed coffee shop is covered with all my favorite horror movie monsters, how could Inot? “Of course.”
He holds the door. “You need caffeine, Ineed caffeine, you need a muffin covered in strawberry blood and a Carrie White Mocha. Don’t you, darling?”
He needs to stop being so sweet and caring and full of Stephen King references, or I’m going to fucking fall for him.Jesus Christ.Inod, and his hand on my back feels like all the security Ineed.I’m. So. Fucked.
The shop has floor-to-ceiling horror murals and memorabilia everywhere. I’m obsessed. Igasp at the technicolour menu, which includes over-the-top mochas named after Frankenstein, with pistachio foam to make them green, and butterscotch lattes named after my favorite final girls. “It’s so cute!”
“Thank you.” Grins the equally cute cashier with the lip ring, who is also the barista.
He bats his lashes at Jett, looking at him like he’s walking, talking sex personified. Because heis.
No one else is in here and Iwonder if Jett planned that or if no one else drinks creepy coffees at three in the afternoon.
“You only drink tea,” Isay absent-mindedly, looking for those options.
“You’ve been collecting, too, haven’t you, Mads?”
I nod like that’s obvious. “Oh! Iknow what you drank last summer! That’s so cute. Do you drink teas like that or strictly Yorkshire?”
He narrows his eyes at the menu. “Wild berry dragon fruit energy infused? Oh god, that’s sugary crack, not tea!”
His eyes land on the barista, who looks like he might pass out from the eye contact alone, and Ifeel that in my soul. “Fuck it, Iknow it’s just you in here working, man … But can we try everything? One of every drink and one of every pastry?”
“Sure, the other barista is just messing around on TikTok, I’ll go grab him … Can Iget a selfie first?”
“Of course, mate!” Jett grabs the barista’s phone and snaps several of the three of us.
He leads me to a table away from the front window. Ilean in and whisper, “Why do Iget the distinct feeling I’ll be cropped out?”
Jett just laughs quietly. “I have that effect on gay boys, that’s just a fact. Oh, why are you looking at me like that? You’re curious, aren’t you? What, you’ve never slept with a girl?”
I shake my head, “I’ve never even been with a man that didn’t look like he was birthed by Princess Diana. So … when you had a boy in your bed, you were a … top?”
“Of course, darling. Does that bother you?”
I grab a colorful little drink menu card and start fanning myself with it. “Yeah, bothered likehot and bothered.”
“Oh yeah? Good to know, darling, you’re so sexy with your cheeks pink like that. And I’m even happier than Dad that you’re out of your princely blonde knobhead phase. He did … make me promise not to fuck you tonight.”
“Jesus Christ! That’s it, Ineed to move out!”
“They care about you in like, the most extreme way I’ve ever seen, Baby. It’s cute you’ve stayed with them all this time.”
“It doesn’t feel cute right now,” Iadmit.
“You can stay at mine, whenever you want. Don’t rush any decisions today, yeah? I’m sorry, Iwon’t bring them up again.”
“I won’t bring them up either, ugh!” Isigh, perking up as the two adorable emo baristas begin bringing the most elaborate monster coffee and energy tea monstrosities to our table.
“Thank you.” Ismile at them. The one watching TikTok videos must’ve seen ours because he turns into a human heart-eye emoji when he looks at us.
