“It’s herthirtiethbirthday, Max.”
“Yeah, and that makes me old as sin! So?”
“I promised I’d make her a mum, Max, when she turned thirty.”
“Jesus Christ, Jett, you don’t need to impregnate my daughter tomorrow! If the thought of it makes you act like this, you should probably wait till you're in your forties!”
My eyes prick with tears, and Islam my bad hand into his mahogany desk, wincing. “I don’t want to wait! Iwant to get started right away. Iwant a big family to make up for all my loneliness as a child. Iwant a baby that’s perfect like her and not fucked up like me!”
“Then you have to fucking pull yourself together, or you’re gonna fuck this kid up before they’re even conceived!” He pinches between his eyebrows and sighs before gesturing to my hand. “What made you do that?”
“Baby told me about something that happened a long time ago, something Icouldn’t protect her from because we weren’t together.”
“And what was that?”
I grit my teeth, and my good hand becomes a tight fist. “KillianCash.”
Max grabs a blue stress ball that says, ‘Anarchy in the UK’ and places it in my fist. “My dear son, have you, oh, Idunno, seen anything on telly with Killian Cash in it recently?”
“No,” Isneer, squeezing the ball harder than it can probably handle.
“And you’re naive enough to think that’s an accident?”
My eyes blink open like I’m finally waking up in my own body again. “What ’ya mean, Dad? Accident?”
Despite being as old as dirt, Max pulls my chair with me in it so we’re knee to knee like it took zero effort. “Jett, you’ve done a great job protecting Baby since you’ve been together. But before that, it was my job. And Icouldn’t always be there, just like you can’t always be. Itwould suffocate her, you know that. But when you’re old like me, you’ve collected a lot of connections that can be useful when needed. People who can help you right wrongs.”
“What did you do, Max?” Irest my wrapped hand on his shoulder.
“Ididn’t do anything, that’s what you’re not getting, that youneedto get. If you’re going to be a good father, you can’t be getting your bloody hands dirty anymore, pun intended. Killian Cash didn’t magically crash his car and end up in a full-body cast, or film a particularly awful B movie and get himself blacklisted so badly he had to move to Mexico. Perhaps one of my associates did have something to do with that, but I’ll never say. Although Ifully believe my scrappy daughter could have gotten away unscathed, Ididn’t want to risk anything happening to anyone else’s daughter, so Ipulled a few strings, that’s all. That’s what you will do from now on, and not take anything into your own hands that would risk you getting caught and taken away from the child that you say you don’t want to be lonely like you were. Do you understand, Jett?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. Thank you, Dad.”
Tears of relief fall from my blurry eyes, and he dabs them with a tissue while he snorts. “All my friends say they want a sensitive, emotional son-in-law like Ihave. Maybe they should be here to deal with this, then.” He kisses me on my hairline and shakes his head. “Wouldn’t trade ya for anything, you know that?”
I nod.
“You’re me, and I’m you. Anormal shrink can’t understand you the way Ido. If you get like this again, you need to come here instead of calling the headshrinker or going to the pub! I’ll talk you down, and you can save the money you’re paying her for my future grandchild. Sure, you’re scared of change, but who isn’t? Ithink you’re afraid of being a shit parent because of how you- how you handle your—”
“Please don’t say the bloody T-word!”
“Oh, fuck that, yeah, you’re right, son, because of your … past. We’ve all had bad shit happen to us, Jett, that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to love. You’ve certainly proven that you do, that you can, and that’s all you need. You think I’m a good dad because Ihave a perfect little past you can wrap up in a damn bow?”
I shake my head, knowing about how awful his parents were to him growing up and all the crazy, fucked up shit he’s done since then. That’s why he’s such a good dad, protecting his kids from all that. “None of this is about being perfect; it’s about doing things differently. Making up for what happened to you is the only way to move on. Is that what you’re saying? Am Ion the right track?”
He smiles and squeezes my neck. “There ya go, son. You know everything you want to do differently, so stop second-guessing yourself. The universe brought you to us for a reason, don’t you think?”
I nod and wipe at my eyes. “Yeah, and the reason is not to fuck all this up. Ihave it so good, Max.”
He hugs me. “You do. And you’re not gonna screw it all up, all right? You’ve come so far to be the man you want to be. Ithink you’re about there but—” He reels back and looks into my eyes, his shining now, too. “Yeah, becoming a dad, that’ll be your final step. Ithink you’re meant for it, like me.”
I nod and stand, walking over to his giant skull-mirror, laughing, gazing at my fucked up reflection. “Take a picture of this and send it to your friends, man, what a fuckin’ fright.” The tissue Idrag across my under-eye area does nothing to fight the smeared liner. “They’ll want macho assholes to date their daughters after they see this.”
He stands with an audible creak, throwing his arm over my shoulder. “Yeah, you might be right, but- they can keep ‘em. None of those fuckers are gonna end up with a son that’s about to go fucking platinum, Ican tell you that!”
He grins, head nodding to my framed gold record on the wall, the one we have so many great tracks together on. Ilove how proud he is of me, and Iknow I’ll be standing with my son like this someday, too. Might be a while, but honestly, Ican’t wait.
* * *
