“It’s fine,” she insists, now stacking books on top of each other. “It was a waste of time, anyway.”
I should leave. Being around her any more than I have to is just unnecessary torture that I don’t need to inflict on myself. I should just turn around and head to my room like I had planned.
So, why is my body doing the exact opposite?
It feels involuntary like my mind and body each have their own agenda.
“Tell me what you were doing.”
She picks everything up off the table. “It was stupid.”
She’s about to pass by me, but I grab onto her arm, and she stops.
“What’s this?” I ask, pulling out a piece of paper that was sticking out of the top book. She doesn’t say anything, but Idon’t need her to. I recognize the image on the paper. “This was one of the symbols carved into the ruins.”
Reign shrugs and it makes her hair fall off her shoulder. “I thought maybe they would help me find something out about the island.” I reach for the stack of books and set them back down on the table. “What are you doing?”
“Two pairs of eyes are better than one.” I pull the chair she was sitting in back out and motion for her to sit. “Now, where did you leave off?”
“No.” She crosses her arms and plants her feet, defying my silent request for her to sit. “You don’t get to act like an asshole and then just expect me to turn around and act like everything is fine!”
Her reaction takes me by surprise. I know I was cold to her earlier and I shouldn’t have been, but it’s hard knowing how to be with her now that her and Damien are back together. Cold and detached was my default setting when they were together back at the Sector. Granted, I also had a persona to live up to, but pushing people away is what I know. It’s the easy thing to do. At least, it used to be.
“You’re mad.”
“Mad. Confused.” She throws the pile of papers down on the table. “I get you being upset with me over the portal, but the whole time we were on that island you were…” She hesitates, trying to find the right words. “You were the old Ryder.”
Seeing the hurt on her face makes me feel sick.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apology. I want to understand.” She moves closer to where I’m standing next to the chair I pulled out for her but doesn’t sit down. “What did I do?”
Hearing that she thinks she did something to make me treat her that way makes me want to stab myself a hundred times over.
“You did nothing. I just…” I can’t even look at her. “Being the guy you want me to be isn’t always easy.”
It’s all I can offer her without telling her how much seeing the two of them together affects me.
“I don’t expect you to be some prince charming, Ryder. Trust me. I know better.” The space between her brows pinches. “But don’t act like the guy I want you to be is someone you aren’t already.”
I toss my head back. “And you need to understand that those parts of me are not the only ones that exist.”
“Stop!” She’s all but inches from me now. “Stop acting like you’re some terrible person! Like the mask of the dark prince you used to wear is who you truly are.”
“But it is!” I grab ahold of her wrists, pulling her to me. “Just because you’ve seen some visions of my past does NOT mean you know me. There is so much you don’t know.”
“Then tell me! I want to know.”
I release her wrist and take a step back. “No, you don’t.”
“Who are you to tell me what I want? You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“I can’t, Reign!”
“Yes, you can! You just won’t!”
“Because you would hate me if you knew!”
