I take a deep breath and let it out. “I love you. I want you to know that. Despite everything that has happened, there’s not one part of me that blames you or resents you. I’ve worked through those feelings, and I want you to know that this is not because of that.” He nods slightly like he’s giving me permission to continue. “Ryder and I spent a lot of time together those months we were at the safe house. I didn’t know it then, but the bond we built there had more of an effect on me than I had realized.” I can see the hurt behind his eyes, but I keep going. Drawing it out would only hurt him more. “The truth is, I care for him too, and I can no longer ignore it. I’ve tried. I wanted to just be with you and be happy again, but too much has changed.”
“Do you love him?” His voice is low and sharp.
“I do.” He can’t even look at me now. “But I love you, too.”
“But you love him more.” It’s not a question but a statement.
“What? No. I mean, I don’t know. It’s not something I can compare. My love for him isn’t greater or less than my love for you. It’s just different.”
“So, what does that mean for us?” He asks, looking me deep in my eyes.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I think I need more time to figure out what I want.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long time and I’m not even sure what to say, so I wait for him. Eventually he stands up and reaches for my other hand, pulling me off the bed.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“You deserve to be happy, Reign. If time is what you need to work things out, then that’s what you’ll get.” He kisses the top of my head. “But if he’s going to take you from me, then he’s going to have to put up one hell of a fight because I’m not going to make it easy.”
The hurt has faded from his beautiful face, leaving only determination behind. He lets go of my hands and cups my face, kissing me so deeply it gives me butterflies in my lower half. When he pulls away and heads for the door, his honey eyes lock on mine.
“May the best man win.”
Chapter 54
Ryder
To say things have been awkward the past couple of weeks would be an understatement. Despite Damien and I deciding to keep our personal lives separate from each other, having to work closely with him has made things quite uncomfortable. It’s even worse when Reign shows up. If someone were to have told me a year ago, I would be in a love triangle, I would’ve laughed in their face right before tossing them into a wall.
I suppose I could just assign him to a unit and be done with it, but he’s too valuable. As much as I don’t like to admit it, his place is alongside Artemus. Between the two of them and Kane, I feel secure in our Leadership. If only I could say the same about my relationship with Reign. It was easier when Damien was away, but with him here, it’s like she’s walking oneggshells around the both of us. Scared that one wrong move will hurt him or me.
I do my best to keep the thoughts of their relationship out of my head but there are moments of weakness when I find myself wondering what it is they talk about. If there are things she shares with him and not me. But those thoughts only seem to send me into an endless spiral.
Still, I was pleasantly surprised to find out she decided to stop being intimate with Damien while she figures out how she feels. That at least levels the playing field a bit.
“This came for you,” Artemus says, handing me an envelope sealed with the Infinite Sea insignia.
It’s an invitation.
King Ryder,
I would like to invite you, Reign, Damien, and Amaya to join us in a celebration of marriage next week. I know it’s short notice, but my partner and I have decided that we want to seal our souls with the Eternal Promise before the inevitable war begins. Anthony and I hope you will be able to join us for the joyous ceremony. All accommodations will be made upon your arrival. Blessings to all.
Zaro
“What’s it say?” Artemus asks, peering over the top.
“Looks like I’ll be away next week.” I hand the invitation to him.
“Oh, shit.” He tries to muffle his laughter with his hand but fails miserably. “What I would give to watch the two of you fight over her at a wedding.”
“There will be no fighting,” I assure, plucking the invitation out of his hand.
“We’ll see about that,” he taunts in a condescending tone.
“I can be civil.”
