I hear my name being called in the distance. It must be the universe’s way of letting me say goodbye to my old life one last time. Still, the burdens of my mortal life cling to me as if trying to pull me back. Instead of peace and serenity, I feel a strong buzzing throughout my whole body. It’s like my cells are trying to break through my skin.
A warm glow that reminds me of candlelight, holds me tightly in a blanket of warmth and I close my eyes, letting go of all the things I thought death would be. Instead, I embrace the feeling of heat caressing my body. I give myself over to the burning energy dancing inside of me as the solitude of death welcomes my soul.
There is no sense of time or space in the afterlife. As the moments pass by it feels as though I’m melting into nothingness. Perhaps I’m becoming one with the universe, returning to the stars at last.
The Mother has chosen to call me home, but for some reason I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve left too much behind. It weighs heavy on my heart that there’s unfinished business still lingering.
Death is easy for the one it claims. It’s the ones left behind who truly suffer. I was the last of Amaya’s family and now she has no one. I left her behind to navigate the world alone. Even with Zane and Emeric by her side, I know it won’t be the same. If it were the other way around and Amaya was the one who died, I don’t know if I would be able to carry on. But Amaya has always been the stronger of the two of us. Perhaps she’ll find comfort in the others, and over time she’ll be able to survive my loss.
But then there’s Kane. He’s once again under the king’s control and if I’m not there, who will fight for his freedom? Slader is selfish, only caring about himself and the only reason Ryder made his freedom a priority during the attack is because I fought for it.
Now, there is a war brewing and everything in me feels like I should be a part of the fight. I owed it to my parents and to Meeka and Agatha to make the king pay for everything he has done. Instead, I failed them. I just stood there, accepting my fate. Even if I didn’t stand a chance, I should’ve at least tried. I should’ve thrown a dagger or launched my fire at him. Even if I missed, it would’ve been better than just rolling over.
Regret begins to creep up thinking about the life I left behind. Looking back now there’s little to show for it. Most of my years were spent just trying to survive. I never really got a chance to truly live.
I never got to be young and dumb. I never got to make a house my home. I never told Amaya goodbye or reunited with my friends. I never got the chance to swim in the Infinite Sea or climb up the side of a waterfall. I never experienced a Nazrelian festival and drank too much sweet wine, leading me to do something I would regret the next day. I never got to find out what job I would’ve been placed in. I never explored the other realms or reunited with my father in the Shadow Lands. I never got to master spells or figure out what else my power could do. So much life that I’ll never get the chance to experience now.
The buzzing returns but this time it’s more intense. Heat prickles against me, drowning out the thoughts. All I can focus on is the feeling of energy clinging to me. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like releasing my power after a month of buildup, only better.Stronger.
Waves of fiery heat knock into me, rocking me back and forth like my father used to do when putting me to sleep as a child. The feeling is relaxing just as much as it is electrifying.
Moments ago, I felt like I was fusing together with the universe. I felt like I was becoming one with something bigger than myself. But as the heat intensifies, so does the feelingof disconnect. I no longer feel like a puddle of infinite space. Instead, I feel remade as if my soul has been renewed into something greater. Now, I can feel my hair brush against my cheek. I can feel my fingertips tingle with energy. I no longer feel like an endless stream of consciousness as my body returns to its previous form. Suddenly, everything inside of me burns with the need to be set free.
The glowing orange hue wrapped around me begins to pulsate as a feeling of power inches along my spine, injecting itself into my veins. The cocoon that once felt like a blanket of warmth, now feels like a cage, keeping me locked away. It’s a feeling I know all too well and one I loathe even in death.
Sizzling heat starts to cut through my shoulder blades, but it feels like someone is running their finger lightly against my skin. The feeling reminds me of Damien and there’s a small pit that forms deep in my stomach at the thought of never seeing him again. Even after everything he did, I can’t help but wonder if the Damien I once knew still exists.
I suppose now I’ll never know.
The thoughts of the man I used to love quickly evaporate when a surge of power shatters the wall of light surrounding me. Shock paralyzes me when my eyes lock on the icy blue stare I’ve grown so familiar with. I hardly feel the crisp mountain air sweeping across my face or register the snowy cliff that marks my place of death.
Before I’m able to figure out if I’m dreaming, power expels from my back in a blaze of fire. The air instantly heats as the power behind me violently whips the wind around me. Just as I’m about to pull my eyes from Ryder, movement catches the corner of my eye.
Wings.
It’s impossible and yet there they are, beating to their own rhythm as flames flicker along the edges. It’s only now that I fully register that I’m hovering in the air with no net to catch me if I fall.
Am I dreaming? Was I in purgatory? Is this the afterlife?
Another burst of power sends sparks of orange and yellow exploding around me. They freeze in midair, blocking my view of Ryder and the mountain. They inch toward one another, creating a wall in front of me. The glowing barrier ripples from one side to the other and when it steadies once more, I’m met with my reflection.
As the pair of eyes resembling the sun look back at me, there’s a sense of familiarity and strangeness to them. They belong to me and yet they belong to someone else. The thought of that sounds ridiculous, but it’s how I feel. When I move my arm, she matches the movement. When I turn my head slightly, she does the same.
Her bird-like wings stretch out, revealing their full size as fire dances around her glowing body. We stare at each other for a long time before she finally lifts her palm up to the mirror of light. I hesitate for a moment, but ultimately follow her lead. Just as our fingertips are about to touch, an electric current shocks me and the reflective barrier shatters into embers once again.
The shock radiates up my arm, stopping at my heart. With one last explosion, the fiery wings wrap themselves around me and power splits me in two.
My feet touch the freezing white snow, sending a chill through my bones. Exhaustion pulls me down but before my bodymeets the mountain, black shadows wrap themselves around me. Ryder is over me, brushing my hair out of my eyes as I try to make sense of everything.
“It’s okay. You’re okay.”
His strong arms lift me up while his shadows still cover my bare body. I try to heat myself, but I’m too tired. I barely have enough energy to lift my head and when I do, it instantly falls to the side, resting on Ryder’s chest.
“You’re alive, Reign.”
The words are muffled, but they ignite something in me, and I know it’s true. I don’t know how or why, but I know that I’m alive. I close my eyes, giving over to the exhaustion and let the sound of his pounding heartbeat chase away the questions threatening to storm my mind.
Ryder’s cold lips gently brush against my ear.
