Pain and pity flash across her face as she thinks it over.
“The witch who cursed you had mentioned that you would be the last heir to the throne. How does that work?”
“Royals can only conceive with those they love. It’s the universe’s way of keeping the bloodline pure, I suppose. Being that my father and I can no longer be physical with someone we love, it kind of makes having an heir impossible.”
“I had no idea that’s how it works.” Her brows furrow as she works through all of the information. “Does that mean you haven’t been with anyone since…”
“Getting quite personal, aren’t we?” I ask with a raised brow that has her face turning red. “Relax, Reign. I’m just messingwith you.” She appears to loosen up a bit, and I glide closer to her. “I’m no saint. I still know how to have fun without feelings. I’ve kept most of those rendezvous outside of the realms, so no one really hears about them.”
“And they’re okay with having no strings attached?”
“Trust me. They’re happy with the arrangement.” I can see she’s fighting back her next question. “Ask me what it is you really want to ask.”
“Last year when I thought you had ingested the truth serum, you said you had been in love before. Was that before or after the curse was cast?”
“I see. You had already known about it back then, and that was your way of trying to get more information out of me.” She doesn’t deny it. “It was before. A long time ago, actually. As you can imagine, the story didn’t end with a happily ever after. My father made sure of that.”
“I’m sorry.” She looks like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t.
“Don’t be. Love is overrated anyway.”
“You don’t mean that,” she says, drifting closer to me until there’s only a foot of space between us. “You want people to think you’re this cold killer, but you’re not. I see how you care about your people. I see how you lead. You may have everyone else fooled, but not me. You’re just too scared to let anyone in.”
“Are you sure you’re not just projecting?” I deflect. “You’re the one with walls so high it would take a whole army to tear them down.”
“They’re only there because everyone I tend to trust ends up hurting me. And we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you!” There’s that fiery side I tend to bring out. “What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing. You’re just—” I laugh. “You’re kinda cute when you’re mad.” She lets out an exaggerated huff and turns to get out of the pool, but I pull her back before she gets too far. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I say, trying to reel back the laughter. “You have every right to put those walls up. I know I’m part of the reason they’re so high, and I’m truly sorry for that.” Her face softens, so I keep going, deciding to give her the answer that she wants. “You’re right. I am scared. My father will use anyone I care about to hurt me or control me, and I can’t afford to put anyone in that position. I mean, look at what he did to Damien. Even without the curse, love has never been an option for me.”
“Can’t you do what you did with Damien and the elixir?”
I shake my head. “Some curses can’t be broken.”
Chapter 32
Reign
“Goodnight, Princess.”
Ryder slips into his room just as I’m getting to my door. I wait until I’m inside and the door is shut before I exhale the weighted breath I had been holding since we were back at the glittering waterfall.
As I watch my dress fall to the floor, I’m transported back to the moment the two of us stood underneath the falling stream of stars. For a second there, I thought he might kiss me. I’m not even sure why I thought that. I mean, it’s not like he sees me as one of those girls he shares a bed with outside of the realms. If anything, he probably sees me as a charity case. Just another one of his father’s victims he needs to save.
Would I even have let him kiss me if he had tried? I can think of worse ways to spend my time, but I couldn’t do that.The man is insufferable. He always thinks he knows best and is cocky and completely emotionally unavailable. Damaged goods that might be too far beyond repair thanks to his father.
Besides, there’s Damien. I love him. Despite everything we’ve been through, I know I do.
What does any of it matter, anyway? It’s not like I’m a prize at the moment. I’m a complete mess myself. I just found out my father is gone, I came back from the dead all of five minutes ago, I’m an immortal being no one seems to know anything about, I just found out my parents weren’t even my real parents, and we’re on the cusp of a war. The last thing I should even be thinking about is boys. There are far more important things that need my attention.
Ryder’s love life is none of my concern. And as for Damien, the two of us have no business getting back together right now. Both of us just died and came back to life. That’s not normal. I mean, he doesn’t even know I’m a phoenix. And what does that even mean? That I’ll always be reborn again? The thought of immortality is too much to even wrap my head around.
For now, I just need to focus on getting my own life in order. That means finding out more about what I am, learning how to use these wings of mine, finding a way to get Kane to the Shadow Lands, and helping the rebellion any way I can. Plus, swearing off dangerously attractive men who will only complicate my life further.
By the time morning rolls around, I feel refreshed. I have a game plan, and I’m sticking with it. Amaya may not agree, but it’s not her life. “Live a little, Reign. Taste them both,” she had said to me earlier this morning when she slipped into mybed. Maybe being away from Zane for too long has made her feel the need to live vicariously through me. Either way, the carefree, don’t-think-just-do person is her, not me.
“Are you sure you don’t want to take my advice? I mean, just look at the two of them,” she whispers when the rest join us at breakfast.
“Shush. They’re going to hear you,” I warn with a glare.
