Hey, everyone! Sorry to hijack the group chat, but I’ve got a little limpkin over here who needs some extra love this weekend. Anyone wanna volunteer to help me out?
When my brother’stext hit my phone, I was already sitting outside The Bugle, Little Pippin Hollow’s most beloved town bar, with my breath fogging in the air as I tried to get a cell signal. Since all my family and friends got together for football games every Saturday (and Sunday, plus the occasional Monday and Thursday), text chatting or FaceTiming at halftime meant I could talk to all of them at once, which was handy. Since Ernest, the owner of The Bugle, happened to serve the best collection of hard cider in all of New England, this meant I could be adequately prepared to converse with the strange collection of personalities on the Key, which was even handier.
Still, when I read Beale’s text, I had to wonder if the half glass I’d drunk before coming outside was a little stronger than usual, because I couldn’t fathom what the hell he was talking about.
It turned out I was not the only one.
Dad
Beale, son, we’ve all been there. But maybe the Whispering Key Party Planning Committee Group Chat isn’t the best place to talk about your limpkin. Have you and Toby talked to Doc Mason? Maybe he could prescribe something.
Dale Jennings
Nooooo. Don’t let Big Pharma anywhere near your limpkin, buddy! I’ve got a guy who can hook you up with some supplements that’ll get your limpkin saluting the flag. Gel coated STEEL, my man. (Gel coating helps the digestion.) Call me.
I laughed out loud. Dale Jennings and his questionable supplements were a Whispering Key legend.
Lorenna McKetcham
Beale, you were right to ask for an assist—sometimes getting some volunteers to help out is exactly what a man needs to recharge the old limpkin! It’s Senior Discount Night at The Crab Emporium, otherwise me and George would be over to help. Man’s been frisky ever since his hip replacement.
I snorted. If I ever needed a reminder of what I loved and missed about the little Florida island where I’d been born and raised, all I had to do was open the group chat.
It was also a really important reminder of why I lived far from Whispering Key. Here in the Hollow, people were every bit as neighborly and supportive, but not nearly as interfering or as eccentric.
I mean, unless they were conspiring to make Knox stay in town. Or to prevent me from leaving…
Okay, yeah, they could possibly be considered interfering.Hmm.
I looked down the hill at the snow-covered Town Square with its spindly-branched trees and empty gazebo and frowned. Someone, somehow, had shoveled perfect concentric rings around the gazebo maybe six feet apart, forming a snowy crop circle.
Then I remembered Katey Valcourt, who’d knitted Webb a pair of homemade socks for Christmas evenafterWebb had explained that he didn’t return her feelings because, she’d informed him happily, everyone needed a hobby and having a crush on him was hers.
And Helena Fortnum, with her hooch and her, um, apple décor.
And Lonnie Duncan, the so-called Pumpkin Carving Champion, who had a chicken called The Matron that made most of his life decisions. (“Sorry, Sheila. I really like you, but The Matron says it’s not gonna work out.”)
Hmm again.
Okay, evidence suggested that Hollowans were also, in their own way, every bit as eccentric as the Whispering Keysters I’d grown up with. Maybe the only difference was that they weremybrand of strange, which was why I’d grafted myself into life here so seamlessly.
Beale
A limpkin is a majestic BIRD, people. Goodness!
Ahhh.This made total sense, since my brother was all about wildlife rescue. It also happened to be the perfect setup for a joke, and I couldn’t resist.
You’re saying your limpkin is… majestic? Weird flex but okay.
Toby
Gagelet!! Precious, how are you?? How is your delightful lumberjackian paramour?? (Yes, I am deliberately turning the conversation, and the first person who changes it back will be dis-invited to the Super Football Day Feast at Beale’s and my house. Do not test me. *staring eyes emoji)
I’m doing great! Knox is doing awesome! And I think you mean the Super Bowl?
Dad
Hahaha. Yeah, he means Super Bowl.
