“I also got an earful from Emma—who wasoutraged, by the by—that you were an asshole to your intended at breakfast.” Knox poked his tongue into his cheek. “Tell me again how that newfound friendliness is going?”
A tendril of guilt coiled in my stomach as the memory of the hurt on Luke’s face before he’d managed to blank his expression at the diner this morning, collided with the memory from last night, of Luke in tears saying no one liked him.
Whack. Thud.
“He’s not myintended. Don’t start with that stuff.”
Knox cocked his head and studied me. “Wait, this handfasting is really bugging you, isn’t it?Why?” He acted like of all the fucked-up aspects of this situation, it was my attitude that concerned him most. “It’s just… the Hollow being the Hollow. They care about you and wanna see you happy. And youknowthey love matchmaking. This… it’s matchmaking on steroids. Matchmaking as a spectator sport. But they can’t actually make you marry the guy.”
“I know!”
“So why do you care if they think you’re handfasted?Youknow the truth, and so does Luke.Youknow you’re not attracted to him?—”
Whack. Thud.
“Wait,areyou attracted to him?” Knox asked, sounding mildly shocked. “Because if you are, I?—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I… That’s… not the point.”
“Oh my God, you can’t lie for shit, and that wasnota denial. You know, it’s okay to be attracted to him. It’s even okay to act on it and enjoy yourself. Sexuality is fluid, and you’d be setting a good example for?—”
I set my jaw. “Knox, I know all that, okay? And none of that is relevant. I just feel bad for Luke, having to deal with people gossiping about us, that’s all. Because they are, and that sucks when he already felt like people around here don’t accept him. He’s a good guy.”
“Well, at least you’ll cop tothat.”
“I knew it all along, I think,” I admitted, blowing out a breath. “He gets under my skin, and I don’t like that. I don’t understand it?—”
“I think I might.”
“—but it’s not his fault. And after talking to him last night, I know that my… unfairness was hurtful. So I’m trying to do better.”
“Hmm. You might recall, I took an instant, irrational dislike to someone who got undermyskin, once upon a time. And now I’m madly in love with him, except he stole my damn sweatshirt months ago and he won’t give it?—”
“Knox.” I held up a hand. “I get that you’re trying to be helpful or distracting or something, but I’ve got a lot on my mind. I met with my attorney about Aiden’s custody right after breakfast?—”
“Oh, shit.” Knox straightened and got serious immediately. “I forgot that was today. Jesus, youdidhave a hell of a morning. No wonder you were cranky at the diner. What’d Curt say? How’d it go? Is the handfasting going to interfere with the custody situation?”
I set down the ax, grabbed the water bottle I’d left on top of the snow, and chugged it down. “It went okay, I guess? He said the best way to handle the handfasting is to just let it expire without completing the tasks. It’s a random town bylaw with no legal significance as long as the terms aren’t met, so it shouldn’t affect the custody dispute.” I took a deep breath. “But I decided to let Amanda start having additional visitation anyway.”
“Wait, what? But Webb, you said…”
“She’s flighty as fuck? She makes promises and flakes? She’s always after the next shiny thing? She hurts Aiden’s feelings again and again? Yeah.” I took off one of my gloves to rub the back of my neck. “But she’s stuck around a lot longer than I expected this time. She’s been dating Roberta Oliver’s brother for a few months. And Aiden… he loves his mom. No matter how flaky she is, he wants to see her. I feel like I’m hurting him just as much by keeping them apart as she does by disappointing him.”
“Shit,” Knox said with feeling. “So… what? She just… gets to visit him whenever? That doesn’t sound right.”
“No. Noo-ho-ho. No. We’re starting out slowly. Curt and I drafted an agreement where she’d start out by taking him to hockey practice and helping out with Nature Scouts. Those are some of Aiden’s favorite activities anyway, and he’d like to have her there. And I?—”
“You’ll feel better because there’ll be supervision,” he surmised.
“Exactly. If they don’t show up to practice, his coach will let me know, and if he’s not at Scouts, Maryanne will call me. But assuming Amanda sticks—which is kind of a big assumption—then in a few weeks, she’ll take him for overnights.” I shook my head. “I don’t know why that makes me nervous when he spends half his nights at Olin’s, and Olin spends the rest of the nights here, but it does.”
“Yeah, it does,” Knox said with feeling, and it helped to know he understood.
“Anyway. The judge signed off on it. I think it made a good impression on her that I offered to try this. And if Amanda doesn’t follow the terms of the agreement?—”
“Meaning, if she disappears with Aiden again?”
I nodded grimly, my hands tightening into fists. “That would be an end to it. The judge didn’t look too favorably on Amanda’s conduct last fall, and it made me feel better to know she took it seriously.”
