Fortunately, the death blow to my pride and the slow bleed of my smashed-up heart didn’t have visible symptoms.
Despite everything, some hopeful little corner of that mangled organ soared at the knowledge that Jack had been thinking about me—that hecared—before I ruthlessly caught it and dragged it back to Earth.
He cares about you like a brother. That’s all.
“I’m fine,” I said, a little more firmly than necessary. “Really. A few pinecone scratches. But if it had been more,” I couldn’t help adding, “I would have sought medical attention because I’m an experienced hiker andan adult.You know that, right?”
Webb’s eyebrows dipped. “O-kayyy, jeez.” He turned to look at Luke. “Is it just me, or is everyone snappish today? Maybe there was something in the air at Glassy Ridge. First Jack’s biting my head off, now Hawk is cranky.”
I tried not to roll my eyes. There was a low bar to me being “cranky.” The dark underbelly of being a generally happy person was that people in my life didn’t know how to process it on the rare occasions when I displayed any emotion besides cheerfulness. Other people got to be moody all the dang time.
Well, it was my turn now.
Luke ran fingers absently through Webb’s hair. “Want me to teach you about common denominators again, baby? It comes in really handy sometimes.”
Webb’s lips twitched at the tease, and when he leaned into Luke’s touch, I had to look away.
Fuck, I wanted that. For as long as I could remember, I’d wanted someone to look at me the way those two looked at each other—with heat and affection and the kind of deep satisfaction that came from knowing you were understood and unconditionally loved.
I wanted my Darcy.
Too bad my idiot heart had set itself on Jack freaking Wyatt, the most obtuse individual in all of Vermont, seven years ago.
Because what he and I had… it was so very close to that. It was the two of us sitting side by side on a rocky outcropping on a winter’s day in comfortable silence, finding patterns in the clouds. It was me and him by the fire pit in his yard, grilling burgers, and planning house projects, and laughing over whether Jack should get a pet (I was heavily teamcat;Jack was heavily teampet rock). It was us working together in the kitchen at the diner while I ate fifty-seven incarnations of a sandwich since Jack was devoted to his farm-to-table seasonal ingredients and adorably finicky about his recipes, and I loved that he trusted me to be his guinea pig.
I’d thought if we could just add a dash of unbridled passion, a little hint of “I can’t wait to get you home, baby,” maybe a dash of “you, me, clothes off,now,”we could turn our friendship into love, just like tweaking a recipe. And that surely, if Jack accepted my proposal to do a little bit of cherry picking, he’d have seen how easy and perfect it could be.
Unnecessarily complicated. Pffft. What about a simple request to take a man’s virginity was unnecessarily complicated?
Thank god I hadn’t confessed my feelings on that damn mountain. If I’d told him that the crush at first sight I’d developed on him as a lonely teenager had only grown over the years until Jack had become the center of my personal solarsystem, I’d probably have been burned to ash by the shame of it all. As it was, I was only… heavily charred.
Emma leaned over me to speak to Webb. “Hawk claims he’s fine, but when I asked him if he was heading up the Averill Union back-to-school charity drive again this year, he grunted. When I asked how his hike with the Mini Nature Scouts went yesterday, he only sighed instead of pulling out his phone and showing me cute kid pictures. I deliberately said something insulting about Timothée Chalamet, and he didn’t argue. And,” she said triumphantly, ticking off a fourth finger, “he atefourextra-long gummy worms on the drive here. He usually stops after two. He’s definitely upset about something.”
I elbowed her back into her own space. “Maybe Hawk’s upset that you’re talking about Hawk like Hawk’s not sitting right here? Just a thought.”
Mrs. Cleeward, whose hair was as bright red as the cinnamon hearts in her candy store, turned around eagerly. “Were thosemygummy worms? Did you like them, Hawk? Did you know we’re using your family’s apples to make the apple juice concentrate for our candies now? In fact, Webb, I got your message about carrying the gummies in the Orchard shop. Mel’s going to call Gage later in the week about a distribution agreement…”
I crossed my arms over my chest like Mr. Diallo, trying to block out the chatter, and wished I could learn the fine art of public sleeping.
“Hawk! You made it.” A delicate fingernail poked the back of my shoulder. “I wasn’t sure after I got your text.”
I turned eagerly toward my friend Crys, taking in her newly dyed hot pink hair—which she’d styled in a short, messy bedhead look that could have been posted on TikTok with both punk rock and lesbian-chic hashtags—and smiled for the first time all night. Crys and I had only met when she’d moved totown and gotten a job at Panini Jack’s a couple of months before, but she was removed from the busybody nonsense, which made her a breath of fresh air and a really good confidant.
“Only because Ihadto come,” I said fervently. “Evola Development Corp is set to ruin the Hollow. That takes precedence over everything else.”
Webb heard me and sighed. “No one’s ruining anything tonight, Hawk. We’re here to listen to their design proposal and ask questions. The plans won’t be finalized until next month.”
This time, I didn’t restrain my eye roll. No wonder I was “cranky.” The town I loved was set to be manhandled by big-city real estate developers under the guise of building an upscale “woodland resort experience,” and no one seemed inclined to stop it. In fact, at least half the town was ready to roll out the red carpet for their new overlords.
“We’ve been listening to them since February,” I reminded him. “Every time these guys ‘talk,’ it sounds more and more like they consider it a done deal. Don’t forget, I was on Mayor York’s committee to review the site plans. Evola simply cannot raze acres of natural, old-growth forest to buildluxury alpine relaxation cabanasanddeliciously decadent bespoke gustatory osteriaswithout having devastating impact on the local flora and fauna. Have you seen environmental impact studies of theirotherresorts? No, me neither. Because they don’t exist. Which means Evola hasn’t publicized them. Which means they’rebad. As a person who’s devoted himself to saving heirloom apple varietals, you should care about this, Webb. Anyone who cares about the Hollow should care about this.”
Webb made a soothing, noncommittal noise—the kind you made when a child was pitching a fit—and I felt like growling. The proposed resort development project stood to bring hundreds of new tourists and their spending money to town,which meant many people, including some members of my own family, were already leaning toward approving it.
The fingernail poked me again. “I know we’re here to stop the evil developers from paving paradise, Joni Mitchell…” Crys leaned closer and whispered under her breath. “But what’s the deal withyou know whoand the plan toyou know whathim? Your text was extremely light on details. A single thumbs-down emoji? I need more.”
I shrugged. “There’s nothing more to say. I asked. He declined. The end.”
Now I had to figure out how to give up the dream of my heart and move on. How to stop being in love with someone who represented the biggest and best parts of my life.
