Jack’s mouth opened in shock before closing with a determined clack. “Changed my mind. I’m not leaving. Whoever you have coming here will just have to deal.”
“Suit yourself,” I said.
I snatched up both our mugs and took them to the mouth of the cave to wash them out. Darkness filled the forest around us as the rain pounded the ground, but I didn’t hear any thunder yet.
For three days, I’d thought of nothing but Jack. So many times, whether I was setting up signage on Glassy Ridge, or laughing over how many followers I’d gotten overnight when one of my posts went viral, or stargazing at night, I’d turned my head to say something to him, expecting him to be right there, as usual, ready to offer advice, or make a snarky joke, or simply share my joy.
I’d missed him so much I ached.
But this new tension between us? The protective walls we’d both thrown up and were now defending by launching angry barbs at each other’s tender spots?
Yeah, no, I hadn’t missed that.
I wanted to scream at him, to confront him with his odd inconsistencies. How could he care enough about me to make my favorite sandwiches, be attracted enough to me to get hard when we almost kissed, climb up a fucking mountain just to tempt me with his nearness, and act all jealous and overbearingly cockblocky, when he’d made it abundantly clear thathewould not be having sex with me under any circumstances?
The sound of the falling water was hypnotic, and I wondered at the irony of being trapped here in a cave during a heavy rainstorm with the person I cared about most but who didn’t want me the same way. Or… who wanted me but wouldn’t allow himself to have me.
I’d changed my mind about forced proximity being hot. This shit wasawful.
Even now, annoyed as I was, I could sense his presence in the cave behind me, feel his hot gaze tracking my every movement, practically hear his heart beat. My dick was half-hard just from his nearness. Being stranded in this small space with him all night was going to be torture. If he wouldn’t be with me the way I wanted, I almost wished he’d leave so I could jerk off in the privacy of my own tent.
Why can’t I?
When I walked back to set the mugs down near the rest of the cooking gear, I glanced over and found him watching me steadily.
“You can use myextrasleeping bag,” I told him. “But you’re sleeping out here. The tent is mine.”
He blew out a breath. “Bird,” he began. “I’m being ridiculous. I’m sorry?—”
The affectionate nickname did things to my belly, but I hardened my heart.
“You should be. You’re being an ass.”
“I’m not… that is…” He sighed. “We’ve shared a tent a dozen times?—”
“Yes we have.” Nerves made my hands shake, but I played it cool. “But my plans tonight require privacy.”
“Seriously?” Jack stared at me. “What plans? Reading? It would be way warmer with both of us together. Remember that time at Joney Creek?”
“It’s summertime. You’ll be fine. And you can have my blanket, too.” I avoided his eyes.
“But…”
“I want to have an orgasm, Jack,” I said baldly. I took a breath and lifted my gaze to his. “A good one. I need it. Out here on my own, I’ve discovered it’s the easiest way to fall asleep on the hard ground. Otherwise, I toss and turn. So. Sure. If you’re okay being next to me while I do that, come on in. Join me.”
Our eyes locked together for a heavy beat. Heat crackled between us, making a mockery of my comment about him needing an extra blanket.
Jack’s eyes widened comically, and it seemed like his pupils followed suit. “Oh.”
“Yeah.Oh.” I crawled through the tent opening and removed my boots, setting them outside. I removed my tube of lube from my backpack like lubing up in front of Jack Wyatt was the sort of thing I did all the time. Then I carefully zipped the tent closed. “Night, Jack. Sleep well.”
The shifting sound of the nylon sleeping bag against the floor of the tent sounded louder than normal. I pulled off my clothes until I wore only my socks, boxer briefs, and T-shirt before scooting down into the chilly softness of my sleeping bag and praying it would heat up quickly.
My dick was suddenly softer than ever, impacted dramatically by stage fright. I hadn’t been lying aboutdiscovering the positive effects of masturbation on my ability to sleep out here, but could I really do it with him listening in?
I shivered inside the bag and tried to get comfortable.
After a few minutes, Jack’s voice came through the thin tent walls. “Are you… do you need anything?”
