‘My grandchildren are more important than a silly prescription. I can pick it up afterwards.’
‘Are you sure?’ I ask, wishing I could decline her offer. I don’t want to let the girls out of my sight. But I have to be practical. Accepting Diane’s help is the only way I’m going to get to work on time.
‘Of course. I do wish you’d let me help out more, Gemma. Come along Katie, Eva, get your school bags.’ As Diane walks past, I get a waft of her perfume, Arpège.
We chaperone the children back inside the house and again I try not to think about what would have happened if Diane hadn’t driven past Katie when she did. Hopefully I would have found her anyway, but there are all kinds of dangerous people in the world. What if one of them had been passing while Katie was out there alone? I should have been more careful. More vigilant. The fact is, someone opened the front door. And even if it was Katie who let herself out, the door was still left open. Anyone could have come into our house… I shudder and take Katie’s hand. ‘Let’s go and wash that teary face,’ I say, taking her into the downstairs loo and running the tap. ‘No more crying, okay? You’re home, safe and sound, and you’ll see Daddy when you get home from school.’
‘Okay,’ she says in a small voice as I help to splash her face with water.
I pat her skin dry and hang up the towel. ‘Now, let’s see a happy face.’
She gives me a lopsided smile and I seriously consider the possibility of blowing off work, keeping the girls home from school and putting on a Disney movie. But then my responsible head kicks in and I realise that this would be sending out a terrible parenting message, as well as missing out on quite possibly the most important meeting of my career.
A few minutes later, I watch from the front door as my mother-in-law strides down the driveway with my daughters in tow. Once again, I feel like a crappy parent. I bet Diane never had these crises when Robert and his brother James were little. She was probably the perfect mother. I check my watch again, but I’m not really concentrating. I think I’m still in shock. I’m really not sure the girls should have gone off to school.
Okay, I can either stand here beating myself up, or I can get myself together and go win this new client. I square my shoulders and take a deep breath.
Three
It’s the middle of the night when an insistent banging jerks me upright. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly to get my suddenly thundering heartbeats under control. But they won’t obey.
‘I know you’re in there!’ he cries, his voice twisted and rough. Nothing like the adoration and gentleness he used to show me. ‘Come on, you little bitch! Open up!’ His voice is still muffled. Good, he hasn’t broken through the door yet. I still have time.
This is why I always rent a ground-floor flat with a back door. I’ve never needed it up until tonight, but now that he’s found out where I live, I’ll have to abandon the place before he gets to me, or who knows what he’ll do.
As the hammering on the door gets louder and the insults worsen, I slip out from beneath the covers and pull a warm sweater over the top of my pyjamas. I grab my phone and my laptop from the dressing table and shove them into my bag. A ready-packed holdall sits at the foot of the bed. No point bothering with the rest of my stuff. It’s not important. Just a few clothes in the wardrobe and some food in the fridge. I’ve never stayed anywhere long enough to accumulate anything of any worth.
Turning the key in the French doors, I briefly wonder how he managed to find me. It’s been over a month since I last saw him. Over a month since I left his beautiful home. Since I got the hell out of there. So how did he manage to track me down? I’ve used an alias to rent this place, like I always do. Not that it matters how he found out. What matters is that he’s here, and if I don’t get my arse moving, he’s probably going to kill me.
‘Open the fucking door!’ More banging, and then an almighty crash.
Shit. I draw the curtains and slip out through the door, closing it and locking it firmly, checking it really is locked. I’m annoyed to find that my fingers are trembling. I can’t afford to be scared. To be weak. It will slow me down. Make me vulnerable.
I’ll need to find a new place to stay. Somewhere far from here. I don’t have anyone I can go to. No family of my own. It was always just me and Mum – a team. But since Mum died it’s just been me. Sometimes I really wish I could have a perfect little family of my own.
As the light flashes on inside, I bite back a squeal, trying not to let the fear consume me. Instead, I shoulder my holdall and slip around the side of the building, breaking into a practiced run. My car is parked two streets away but I can cut through an alley to get there.
I realise I’ve misjudged this entire situation. I won’t ever make the same mistake again.
Next time, I will be more careful.
Four
When I finally reach my office building in town – a plain 1980s red-brick building with blue windows (hideous, but practical and convenient) – my heart sinks at the sight of a workman’s van parked lengthways across the front of my reserved space. I beep my horn a couple of times, but no one comes and I’m too late to deal with this now, so I reverse out of the car park and luckily manage to find a metered space in a side street around the corner.
My meeting was scheduled for nine thirty, but I’m already ten minutes late. Maybe he’ll be running behind schedule too? All I need is a few extra minutes to reach my office and get myself together. I’m still shaky from Katie’s disappearing act and I can hardly walk in my heels – I messed up my others in the garden looking for her, so I’ve had to wear a different pair which are higher and far less stable. I wasn’t expecting to have to walk this far. Finally, I make it in through the entrance of the building that houses my company, GB Facilities, on the third floor.
I greet the receptionist as I make my way over to the lift. ‘Morning, Cassie.’
‘Morning, Mrs Ballantine. Your nine thirty is already up there. I said he could wait outside your office.’
‘Okay, thanks. What time did he arrive?’
‘Only about ten minutes ago. Hope you don’t mind me saying, but he didn’t seem too happy that you weren’t here yet.’
Damn.Mick Cosgrove is a big deal. He contacted me out of the blue. He owns a couple of huge commercial buildings at the Lansdowne. It would be great for business if I could land him as a client and the last thing I wanted to do was keep him waiting. This pitch is really important to me, but I’m still shaken from this morning’s incident with Katie. I hope she’s okay. I’m half expecting the school secretary to call me to collect her because she’s too upset to stay in class. But I can’t allow my worries to take control. I need to focus on winning Cosgrove over.
The lift dings and the door opens. I step in and examine my reflection in the mirror, smoothing my hair and checking my teeth for lipstick. Luckily, I look quite calm on the outside, so hopefully he won’t notice any traces of anxiety. My career has always been important. When I left school, I got a job as a PA at a facilities management company and worked my way up to a management position that involved looking after local office buildings, making sure they had adequate security, cleaners, catering, maintenance – all the boring behind-the-scenes stuff that keeps businesses ticking along. I discovered that I was really good at my job. I enjoyed making sure everything was running smoothly. I was respected, appreciated, had a decent salary. Anyway, I was in line for a big promotion when my boss was suddenly arrested for tax fraud and the company went under. I thought that was the end of everything.
