Nine
NOW
When I finally reach Celia’s bungalow, I’m properly shaking, and it’s got nothing to do with Madeline’s weird new attitude towards me. Did I really just see Dina walking along that road? Or am I losing the plot? I barely even register the fact that the front of my Corsa is all banged up. Things are so out of kilter at the moment that my car accident feels like barely more than a blip. Everything has been overshadowed by that possible sighting of my sister.
But if she’s really back, then why hasn’t she been in contact? And who was the guy she was with? I guess I should call Dad. Then again, I don’t want to get his hopes up.
Outside, the sky is so dark and heavy with rain it feels like dusk, not nine in the morning. Celia’s red Smart car is parked in the drive and her kitchen light is on. I see her at the window washing up, her head bowed over the sink. As I head towards the front door she glances up and waves, her face lighting up at the sight of me. Good. At least she’s not blanking me too.
I don’t bother knocking. Celia is at the door in seconds, wiping her wet hands on a green and white checked apron that’s tied over her jeans and grey wool jumper. ‘Hello, love, this is a nice surprise. Haven’t seen you for a few days.’
‘Hi, Celia.’ I step into the hallway with its familiar smell of freesias and Pledge furniture polish. ‘Sorry I’ve been AWOL; things have been crazy recently.’
‘You staying for a coffee?’
‘I’d love one.’
‘Come through.’
I follow Celia into the kitchen, catching wafts of her perfume, White Linen by Estee Lauder, as she walks, her neat grey-brown waves bobbing. Passing all the framed family photos on the wall, I catch sight of a familiar one taken on our wedding day. Toby and I are both smiling at the camera as though it’s the happiest day of our lives. So why does my stomach clench at the memory?
I quickly shift my gaze to one of Toby and Nick as teenagers pulling goofy faces, envying them their closeness. How did Dina and I grow so far apart? Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to see whether I could have done things any differently. To work harder at our relationship. I only have one sister, but I may as well be an only child for all the contact we have now. If she really has come back, maybe it’s not too late to rectify things. Although, once again, it will be me doing all the running because I doubt very much that Dina’s come back to make up.
‘You coming?’ Celia calls from the kitchen.
I gladly move away from the wall of photographs.
Celia’s kitchen is homely but smart, with oak cabinets and white granite worktops. More framed photos of the family adorn the wall next to the fridge, but I don’t let my gaze settle on them. Instead, I sit down at the round oak table while my mother-in-law potters about the kitchen making us both a drink.
‘Are you okay?’ she asks, her back to me as she spoons coffee into the machine. ‘You look a bit frazzled, if you don’t mind my saying.’
‘I am frazzled. I just drove into the back of someone.’
‘What?!’ Celia turns around and marches over to sit next to me. ‘Why didn’t you say anything? Are you hurt at all? Whiplash?’
‘No, I’m fine. I think I’m just in shock.’
‘I’m sure you are!’
‘Not because of the crash though.’
‘What do you mean? What’s happened?’
‘I think I just saw my sister.’ Saying the words out loud to Celia brings up all the turbulence of her disappearance. I bite my lip to contain my emotions.
‘Your sister?’
I nod.
‘But… she’s been missing for years.’
‘She has.’ I haven’t let myself dwell on her disappearance too much over the past decade. Instead, I tried to get on with my life as best I could. Throwing myself into my work and family life. But today has brought up all the old feelings and resentments – my anger with Dad for not trying harder to search for her. The fact that it was all left to me. My fury with Dina that she thought so little of Dad and me to not even bother to keep in touch. My outrage at how she behaved the last time we spoke. And the unnamed fear that maybe something bad happened, preventing her from getting back in touch with us.
If she really is back in Shaftesbury again, I’ll have to confront all my simmering emotions. I won’t have a choice, and the thought terrifies me.
‘Are you all right?’ Celia jogs me out of my spiralling thoughts. ‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’
I hesitate and then let out a sigh. ‘It might be nothing. But as I was driving over to yours, I saw this striking couple walking down the street. They caught my eye. And the woman… she was petite. Wearing a red coat. She had this long dark hair and her face was…’ I break off, unable to continue for the moment.
