‘Almost ten.’ I blow air out of my mouth. ‘I can’t believe it’s been that long.’
‘Give it a few days. Maybe she’ll get in touch.’
‘Okay. You’re probably right.’
‘And then, if she doesn’t, we can go to the police station together and tell them what’s happened.’
‘Thanks, Toby.’
He gives me a smile. ‘Of course. I’m sure we’re worrying over nothing though.’
I hope he’s right.
‘Are you feeling any better about things now?’
‘Kind of.’
He puts the last piece of sandwich in his mouth and washes it down with the rest of his tea. ‘I better get back…’
‘Yeah, sure. Sorry I dragged you all the way home.’
‘What? Don’t be sorry. I got to share lunch with my beautiful wife instead of staring at Nick and Dad’s ugly faces.’ He grins.
‘Actually, Toby, I think I am going to speak to the police.’
His smile fades. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’ll be worrying otherwise.’
‘If you wait till this evening, I can come with you.’
‘No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine going on my own. I’ll just tell them what’s happened and ask if there’s anything they can do. If they can, they can, and if they can’t… well then I’ll have to think of another way to find her.’
‘I’ll get Mum to come with you.’
‘You don’t have to do that. She doesn’t need to be dragged into my family drama.’
‘She won’t mind. And anyway, we’re all family now. I’ll call her on the way back to work. Bit of moral support for you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’d do anything for you, Zo. You know that.’
He puts his arms around me, and I thank God for the day I met Toby Johnson. I can’t wait until we have our own little family. I know you can’t control these things, but I’m going to try my hardest to make sure that we all look out for one another, that we communicate, that our kids are as close as Toby and Nick. I want what they have in their family. That deep unshakeable bond that means they would do anything for one another. Dina and Dad and I – we’re broken. We’ve forgotten how to be family. And it hurts every day.
Twenty-One
NOW
It’s finally here. Our anniversary weekend! And it’s kicking off with the party I’ve been planning for so many weeks. After yesterday’s environmental-health scare, and all my worrying and stressing about how the party is going to go and who’s going to show, I’ve come to the simple realisation that this party is just one night out of my life. Whoever’s here or isn’t here, it doesn’t matter. However the evening turns out, I should just try to enjoy it. It’s supposed to be a celebration. I’m here with my husband and I intend for us to enjoy ourselves.
I’m feeling pretty good in my new dark-green satin cocktail dress with matching killer heels and a glitzy diamante wrist cuff. I’ve left my hair loose and straight – Becky tidied up the ends for me at work earlier today – and I bought the perfect pair of diamante drop earrings to complete my outfit. Our favourite tunes are playing over the speakers while the swing band sets up on the stage, and I sit at a table chatting to Becky and her boyfriend Sam. The ceiling is festooned with twinkling lights, streamers and balloons. Waiting staff weave between guests, carrying trays of finger food and glasses of champagne.
Toby’s speech earlier was so emotional and heartfelt that he had more than half the room in tears, including me. I think it wasn’t until that moment, where he thanked me for being the best wife a man could wish for, that I actually started appreciating tonight and what it means. Ten years of marriage to the love of my life, a beautiful family, and – if I’m doubly lucky – a lot more of the same to come.
I’m relieved the evening seems to be going well so far, despite not yet having plucked up the courage to talk to Madeline or Kim. Although this is my party, so they’d better not be rude or offhand. Toby’s currently chatting to Nick and Madeline at another table. I know I should go over and talk to them, but I’m burying my head in the sand for now. I’ll have a couple more drinks before saying hello. I already hugged Celia and Malcolm, who are now at a table with a group of family friends.
I’d have thought more people would have sought me out to say hello. I’ve already seen several of the school parents – Georgina, Ellen and Liz for starters – go over to speak to Toby, but they haven’t greeted me yet. And perhaps I’m being paranoid, but I can’t seem to even catch their eye. I tell myself to stop worrying. I think I’ve spent so many days stressing about everything, that I’m now unable to simply relax. I remind myself of Toby’s speech. Of what this evening is about. And I resolve to put my worries aside. To stop thinking about everyone else.
