‘Zoe, are you okay?’
I can’t even talk. This is all insane. Finally, I manage to nod, and he continues.
‘It’s shocking, I know. She moved so quickly, I really thought she was going to slit my throat, but you saved me. You picked up this heavy glass vase of flowers from the table, came up behind her and smashed it down on her head.’
‘What?!No!’
‘She went down straightaway. There was glass and water everywhere – the floor was soaked. That’s when you slipped, fell backwards and smashed your head on the edge of the desk. You knocked yourself out. But I’m afraid Dina was already dead.’
‘I don’t believe it.’ I ball my hands into fists and shake my head. Toby’s story truly sounds like something from a movie, not something that actually happened in real life. ‘I know Dina was headstrong,’ I admit, ‘but she wasn’t crazy… or deluded. To say she pulled a knife on you… that doesn’t sound like anything she would do.’
‘Zoe, you hadn’t seen her for years. The Dina I met was… she was unpredictable.’
I think back to the last time I spoke to her on the phone; the demands she’d made of me. Deep down I know that what Toby is telling me is indeed entirely plausible, I just don’t want to admit it. Especially in light of Cassie’s revelation about Dina blackmailing her. If she could do that to someone she barely knew, then what else was she capable of? But I don’t want to believe any of this. It’s too much.
‘So why can’t I remember?’
‘You were out cold. I think the trauma and the knock to your head must have affected your memory.’
I scrape my chair back and stand, gripping hold of the table for a moment. ‘You should have called for an ambulance. Maybe they could have saved her!’
‘It was too late, Zoe.’
My brain races and the room swirls while I try to make sense of what my husband is telling me. I don’t think I can take it all in. He’s saying that Dina died ten years ago.Ten years ago!
‘So… she really is dead. My sister is dead.’ I sit back down heavily. ‘I can’t believe it. How am I going to tell Dad?’
‘You can’t tell him.’ Toby gives me a hard stare. ‘You can’t tellanyone.’
I don’t see how I’ll be able to keep this from my father. But I realise something else isn’t adding up. ‘Why is your brother freaking out about this? I mean, if all this really happened, and you’ve both known about it for ten years, then why is he falling apartnow?’
‘Because he helped… afterwards.’
‘Helped?’
Toby grimaces. ‘With your sister. We had to get rid of…’ He pauses and winces. ‘…her body. It was our wedding night – I couldn’t exactly get away – so he did most of it.’
I think about what this must have entailed and break out in a queasy sweat. ‘How…? I mean where did you…?’
‘She’s buried in that patch of ground by the woods.’
‘You mean…’
‘Yes, where the new housing development is due to be built. That’s why Nick’s been panicking recently. He’s sure they’ll discover Dina’s body, and they’ll link her remains to the three of us. He’s the one who encouraged Madeline to start up a petition against the development. But now the appeal’s been rejected, they’ll probably break ground soon.’
‘Wait a minute, why didn’t you just call the police in the first place? From what you’ve told me, it was self-defence, so surely they would have understood. I mean, if someone comes at you with a knife, you’re within your rights to defend yourself.’
‘I know, but I was pretty traumatised. We didn’t know if the police would believe what had happened. Maybe in hindsight it would have been better to call them and explain, but we made a judgement call in the heat of the moment, and we’ve had to live with that decision. I didn’t want you to go to prison for protecting me from Dina. I couldn’t take the risk.’ Toby’s voice breaks. ‘I love you so much, Zoe. I’d do anything to keep you safe.’
I stare at my husband. At the grief and concern etched across his features. And I realise that he must be telling the truth. That my sister is really dead. I let out a sob and cover my mouth. Dina is dead. She’s been gone for all these years. ‘I don’t believe it,’ I murmur. But this time it’s without conviction. ‘Is she really gone?’
Toby reaches across and takes my hand. ‘I’m sorry, Zo. I’m so, so sorry.’
I choke back another sob as I think of my little sister lying in that patch of lonely waste ground by the woods. No funeral, no headstone, no one to mourn her passing for all these long years. While I’ve been enjoying a comfortable happy life of wedded bliss. How will I ever come to terms with this? How will I ever be able to forgive myself? I don’t even care about her ill-judged pass at my husband-to-be. It seems childish and trivial compared with what happened to her afterwards.
If only I hadn’t lost my memory back then, I could have persuaded Toby to tell the police. Saved years of secrets. Of lies. I squeeze my husband’s hand. ‘Let’s just call the police now. Get it over with. Dina deserves a decent burial. We can give her that at least.’
Toby’s face closes down, and he snatches his hand back. ‘No. Can’t you see? It would be a disaster for everyone who covered it up. We would all go to prison – you, me, Nick. Terrible as it was, it was an accident. It happened so long ago. What good would it do to bring it all out into the open now?’ He starts pacing the room again. ‘Truth doesn’t always play a big part in these types of investigations. Especially not after so many years. The police will be doubly suspicious that we didn’t tell them in the first place. And it would destroy our parents if we were all found guilty. Even if by some miracle we’re cleared, well, mud sticks. Our careers would be ruined. We’d probably have to leave the area. And if you can’t stay quiet forus, think of what would happen to the children.’
