“Is it your mom? Or what happened in Oban? Or both?”
Kelly flicked me an angry look. I’d take it. I’d take anything over that dull, blank stare. “How can you be all right with everything?”
“I’m not,” I told her honestly. “But I’ve decided not to let the bad stuff win.”
“You didn’t tell me about your ex-boyfriend.”
I heard the hurt in her voice and winced. “Sweetheart, I … I didn’t want to fill your head with that stuff.”
“So, it wasn’t because you don’t trust me? Trust me and Dad?”
“I told your father.” I slowly covered her hand with mine and thankfully she didn’t shake it off.
“Dad knew?” Her tone changed ever so slightly.
“Yes. Your dad and I … I will always try to protect you as much as I can from all the crappy stuff in the world. But it’s different with your dad. Heneededto know that my last partner wasn’t very good to me for me to feel safe inourrelationship.”
Kelly processed that and eventually replied, “Okay. Well, at least you told Dad, I suppose.”
Suspicious of why she was so mad at me for keeping this secret from her, I said, “We couldn’t have known Nick was inScotland or that he would be so reckless. I would never have put you in that position if I thought we were in danger.”
“I know that.”
I squeezed her hand. “Then why are you so angry with me?”
Her cheeks flushed as her head jerked toward me. “I’m not!”
“Sweetie, it’s okay if you are.”
“I’m not!” She flicked off my hand. “I’m just … I didn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop him from taking you and he used me to get to you! Why do bad things keep happening to us? Is this life? Every time you think it’s going to be okay again, something totally shite happens?!”
I flinched at her cursing, at the pain and guilt in her voice.
“Why does everything have to feel so hard and scary all the time?” Kelly began to cry softly.
Tears of empathy filled my eyes, proving Nee had not emptied out my tear ducts earlier. Sliding an arm around my stepdaughter, I pulled her head down onto my shoulder and let her cry. I soothed and murmured words of reassurance as she released her pain, letting everything horrible and awful leach out of her.
It broke my heart how long Kelly cried, long enough for my body to ache with the position, but I didn’t move a muscle. I stayed right there where I was needed.
Eventually she quieted, running a hand over the back of her dripping nose.
I reached down and picked up a T-shirt from her messy floor and offered it to her.
Kelly let out a small giggle as she lifted her head and wiped the fabric across her nose. Embarrassment shadowed her expression. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. We all need to let it out, you know. I just broke down on Nee’s shoulder before I came in here.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I reached for her hand again, clasping it in both of mine as I held her young gaze. “One, what happened in Oban is not your fault. Two, I wish I could promise you that nothing bad or hard or scary will ever happen again. I can’t promise you a smooth life from here on out. But I can guarantee that your dad and I will love you through every second of it.”
Kelly’s lips trembled again as she glanced quickly away. “What if you decide you don’t want to be here with us anymore?”
Realizing what was behind her fear and what it meant about her feelings for me was overwhelming, but in the best way. I pulled her close again and kissed her temple. “I will never leave you by choice. You are stuck with me, kid.”
She giggled tearfully. “I guess I’m all right with that.”
Epilogue
