“Sheesh, ungrateful, are we?”
“No, this is good.” It wasn’t until Jamie brought it to his lips for a drink that I realized he’d taken the one I’d sipped from. Oops. “Thanks.”
“You’re lucky it was your birthday yesterday,” I told him, not wanting to head back out just yet. “Or else my cold shoulder would’ve lasted a lot longer.”
“Cold shoulder over what?” Jamie sat on the edge ofthe bed, setting his Sprite on the nightstand beside him. “Telling Nell about Dalton? I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret.”
“It’s not a secret. I just don’t like the idea of you talking about my love life behind my back.”
Jamie paused as he reached for his book. “I didn’t realize he still classified as being in your love life.”
I pressed my lips together and looked away. “He doesn’t.”
“Daisy.”
It was just my name, but he’d spoken it like he was trying to lure the truth out of me. “Hedoesn’t,” I insisted. “I just don’t want you two talking about him without me. Because talking about him leads to Nellie’s idea of fake dating someone to make him leave me alone, because we both know no one pities the person who moves on first?—”
“But not me,” Jamie muttered under his breath. “Because I’m not good enough.”
“Oh, quit acting like it hurt your feelings.” Despite my stern tone, I didfeel bad that hehadheard that part of our conversation. I sat on the edge of the bed by his legs. “The whole point of fake dating someone is that you have to be convincing. Would you kiss me to convince him?”
Now Jamie looked away, down at his book, fingers tightening on the cover. “Gross.”
“Exactly.” Something twinged in my chest, and my grip on my cup loosened. I hadn’t realized how tightly I’d been clenching it. “I don’t like talking about him with you two. It makes me feel… pathetic.”
“You are not pathetic. He’s the pathetic one. Coming up to us the other day, looking at you, poking for a reaction. Bringing up NYU.” Jamie swallowed, nudging his glasses up with his finger. “He’s just trying to prove he still has power over you, Daze, andthat’spathetic.”
You’re off to NYU in the fall, right?“There’s no way he’d know that I hadn’t gotten in.”
“He never believed you would.”
The way Dalton had always viewed my art had never been a secret. He’d hated my sketches. He’d thought they were twisted and unsettling, and never looked at them for longer than two seconds.
It’s a little silly to hear you talk about NYU like you’ll go.Jamie didn’t know Dalton had said that, though. I’d never told him. There was so much the twins did not know, because if I told them the whole truth, there’d be no forgiveness.
Which absolutely shouldn’t have been a factor, but I couldn’t help it.
Bitterness twisted my lips. “Well, he wasn’t wrong, was he?”
“You didn’tnotget in.” Jamie enunciated each word carefully. “You were waitlisted.”
“Which is just a different word forrejected.” I stood then, lifting my chin higher. Even though Jamie was sitting on the bed and I now stood in front of him, it felt like he towered from higher ground. “Not that you’d know.”
The words slipped out, a defensive jab poorly disguised as sarcasm.You wouldn’t know; you were accepted.
Jamie dropped his gaze, but not before I saw the shadow that passed across his expression. “I won’t bring him up again,” he said in a calm tone, slipping out his bookmark and quickly sliding it into his pocket. “Now, shoo. I need to finish my chapters for book club.”
I didn’t move. I didn’twantto talk about Dalton, least of all with Jamie, but something in me still resisted going back to the party. It was the same feeling that had me thinking I should reach out to Mom or Penn—something heavy that I couldn’t quite shake.
Jamie’s eyes were fixed on his book, not bouncing through a sentence. He wasn’t reading. “You’ll come get me if you need me?” he asked the page.
“You mean if Dalton gets here?” He hadn’t shown up yet, but with each passing second, the likelihood became stronger. And maybe that was another reason I didn’t want to go back to the party—the thumping stereo beat felt like a ticking time bomb.
“Just… if you need me.”
“You know, you didn’t have to come with me tonight.” My voice was slow. Hesitant. The weight in my stomach forced the words out of me. “I know these things aren’t really your scene.”
“Wherever you are is my scene,” Jamie said. Then he cleared his throat. “I mean, reading here or at home is the same.” Jamie raised his book up closer to his face, scowling. “Whatever, just… go. Leave me to my book.”
