You have four little roots holding you in place.
“It’s just a year,” I told Nellie, looking off to the open window. I couldn’t see the kids from here, but I could still hear their voices. “A gap year to save up some money while they still need me. Theo will be seven next year, and Penn will be fifteen, and old enough to watch the kids for longer periods of time. I’ll reapply to NYU next year.”
“What happens if the kids need you next year?”
I sighed. “Nell?—”
“I know. I know. I just—” Nellie lowered her voice. “I’ve always known you have to carry so much, but I always thought—well, I always thought college would be a break for you. A chance to catch your breath and focus onyouagain.”
That had been what I’d always told myself, too, a consolation for the hard days.Me too.
“You know how my dad’s taking a break from the juvenile courts?” Nellie went on. “He’s seeing a therapist now and all that jazz. He’s getting better.”
“That’s great to hear.” Her dad had been through hell these past few months, trying to mentally crawl his way back from burnout as a Superior Court judge. He’d bounced back in time for their eighteenth birthday and high school graduation, seeming more like himself.
“I’m sure he’d love to babysit sometime this summer if you needed a break. He’s really good with kids.”
I smiled at her, holding out the box of donut holes to her. “Thanks for offering up your dad’s free time.”
“I’m such a good daughter, aren’t I?”
We both chuckled at that. Through the window, I could hear Junie’s high-pitched laugh mixing with Ivy’s, the sound happy and light. I picked up another donut hole, but a second before biting into it, my phone vibrated.
Jamie
How’s my drawing going?
My lips curled up, and I texted back one-handed.
it hasn’t even been twelve hours. I can’t work under these stressful conditions
Jamie
It’s because you’re having a social hour instead of working on my commission
is someone feeling left out?
Jamie
I can’t feel too bad. I had all your attention last night.
Ah, right. When we’d been dancing, and I’d nearly kissed him. Right.
“I feel a little bad,” Nellie said suddenly, eerily echoing her twin’s text, drawing my focus to her. “Raelynn was crying in the club’s bathroom last night after you and Jamie left.”
“What?” I lowered my phone. “Why?”
“I guess you two were… convincing.” Nellie made a little face at the word. “I didn’t realize she liked himthatmuch.”
“She should go out with Dalton,” I said flippantly, glancing at my phone again, at Jamie’s message. “You’d be with Beck, I’d be with Jamie, she’d be with Dalton, and Lydia… Well. Are wesureCarter’s not into her?”
I typed back a quick message to Jamie.
Last night was enough?
I’d sent the text before I realized how flirty it sounded,heart tampering faster. Would he take it as flirting? Would he chuckle and roll his eyes?
I realized Nellie didn’t reply, and when I looked up, I found her staring at me. “What?”
