A soft moan overcomes her as our lips consume each other.
A moan that goes straight into my soul.
It touches me somewhere so deep?—
It can’t be?—
I stop the kiss.
“You don’t want me,” I say silently.
“But I do,” she says in a painful voice.
“No, you don’t,” I breathe out. “What you want is the idea of me, because I’m everything you are against. I am the impersonation of everything you don’t allow yourself to be. The outlaw, the rulebreaker, the romanticized version of parts you deny. Nothing else. So, walk away now,” I say, and let go of her like electrocuted, and push myself away. Turning away from her. From the feeling she just gave me.
One I cannot feel.
One that cannot be.
One I promised never to have again.
Images flash through my mind.
It needs to be gone.
The walls are closing in on me.
She’s still standing where I left her.
Staring at me with a fierce gaze.
I can’t?—
“Walk away!” I roar at her. “Get out of here!”
My temples hurt, and I grasp them.
I rub my hands along them as the stabbing pain shoots through my head.
My vision blurs.
She can’t see me fall apart like this.
She can’t?—
I can’t?—
I need to get away.
Run.
Far away.
My heart stumbles in my chest.
One last look.
And then, I run.