“It was a contractual arrangement with Lydia. And we were never carrying on.”
My heart nearly stops. “What?”
He looks uncomfortable. “I don’t love her, Sienna. I never did. I just needed a way—”
“To get away from me,” I finish for him. My voice is only a whisper, this agony being more than I can bear. “You would go that far to get rid of me? Do I really repulse you that much?”
My wolf is keening now, deeply agonized over this revelation.
“No.” He shakes his head and cups my face with his palms. “That’s not it. I swear to you, that’s not it.”
I push his hands away and turn my head to the side, unable to look at him. “Then what is it? Just tell me, Lucas. I’m sick of you dancing around the subject. At this point, I don’t even care that you don’t want me. I just need to know why.”
I can feel him about to speak, and when he makes a strange sound instead, my eyes flick toward him. His lips are parted, and there’s an odd look on his face, as if there’s something stuck in his throat. He quickly presses his lips together and lowers his gaze.
After a brief pause, he says, “I can’t tell you the reason. But I will clarify a few things for you. I never meant to humiliate you. All I’m trying to do is protect you.”
“From what?” I ask tensely. “What is it?”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping. “I can’t tell you. Sienna, I know you don’t understand why I’m doing this, and I know you’re angry with me. But please know that if I didn’t have feelings for you, this would be much easier. You are incredibly precious to me. I wish I could give you my mark. You don’t know how much I wish I could. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want you to think the worst of me, or of yourself, when I took Lydia’s hand that day. I haven’t been able to bear the idea of you being with anyone but me. I even wanted to kill Ethan just for touching you.”
“Is this supposed to make me forgive you?” I stare at him. “Did you think saying all this would make me fall into your arms?”
He is quiet for a long time. Then, he says, “No. No, I don’t expect you to forgive me. Perhaps it’s better this way.” He gets to his feet, and suddenly, the shadows under his eyes seem darker than before, and his expression is filled with a weariness that unsettles me. “Once you’ve recovered, Sienna, I will be sending you back to Moonvale.”
My eyes widen, and I sit up abruptly. “What?!”
“I told you to stop moving. ” He pushes me back down carefully.
I grasp his wrist. “Why the hell are you sending me back? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
He studies me, our faces closer than I expected, and in his eyes, I see regret and misery. It makes my heart tighten.
“I can’t have you here, Sienna,” he murmurs gently. “I might end up marking you, and I can’t do that to you. I won’t put you through that.”
“Through what?!” I ask, my teeth grinding. “Stop speaking in riddles, Lucas! If you don’t want me, that’s fine! I haven’t pushed you ever since you got engaged to Lydia. I have not crossed anyline. My behavior has been more than appropriate. You can’t throw me out. This is my job!”
“Darius can send somebody else,” Lucas says, shaking his head. “It can’t be you.”
My chest is heaving, and I’m pissed. “You’re not going to sabotage my career because your human side finds me lacking. I’ll keep my distance from you if I have to. But I’ve worked hard to get where I am—”
“I don’t find you lacking!” he snaps back at me. “Neither my wolf nor my human find you lacking in any aspect. And I’m not trying to sabotage your career. I know how ambitious you are, how driven. You think I don’t see that? But you can’t stay here.”
“Why the hell not?” I push his hand away. “Because of this need to protect me from an imaginary threat? You can’t make me leave like this. If you’re so worried about accidentally giving me the mark, then I will find somebody else. I’ll—”
“It’s that easy for you, huh?” Lucas stares at me, his voice hollow. “It’s that easy for you to just decide to find somebody else? You had no problem finding all those human men to have a good time with last week. You were perfectly comfortable hugging Ethan. And here I was, trying to do everything possible to avoid Lydia’s touch.”
My eyes narrow. “You didn’t look like you were having a hard time.”
Lucas opens his mouth and then looks at the floor. “I guess I was the only one hurting this whole time.” Before I can react, he starts to walk away. “I’ll send in the healer and order you some food.”
“Where are you going?” I demand, feeling uneasy over his words.
He stops and faces me again. “To talk to your alpha.”
“Don’t you dare, Lucas!” I shove the blankets aside and try to get up. “I swear, if you—”
I stumble forward, my legs unable to support me. Before I can hit the ground, Lucas’s arms catch me and hold me tightly.
