And as she wrapped her arms around Romano, taking his scent deep into her lungs, she figured she’d be okay with Kalinda also being Romano’s mate. That she could handle. His body moved against hers, wind ripping through her hair as he raced from the house. The freedom of their sprint, the speed with which he took her away from reality, was tantalizing and amazing. For a few moments she could breathe, her chest not so tight, her mind not viciously swinging from one what-if to another.
No, under his touch she was just Kalinda, and she could live that way.
The rest of the world faded as he barreled them into his home, his house reverberating with the echo of the slammed door. The silence here was better than the noise in her head, the cracking fissure of panic spreading through her.
“Tonight, just let me take care of you.”
She hadn’t heard anything better in a very long time.
Chapter Fifteen
There were many things Kalinda hadn’t had in her life. Marriage, children, a happy 75th birthday with her mother, true love that lasted a lifetime, and the trust of a partner to never hurt her. Even when she’d been with her fiancé, he had been smooth, supportive, and loving, but not passionate. Nothing about him made her lose her way or be left feeling like she’d been in a whirlwind, but she’d thought she could trust him to at least never change.
He had, of course, changed.
But with Romano, she wasn’t sure how to put it into words. As she sat in his porcelain tub, flamelight from enough candles to be a fire hazard, hot magnolia-scented water lapping over her skin, and a multitude of rose petals in different colors floating over the surface, she couldn’t describe just what she felt. He’d even helped her put her hair up into a messy bun at the top of her head. It might be knotted in the morning, but he’d done a good-enough job.
She didn’t know how he’d orchestrated it all: rapid-fire orders into his phone against his ear as he got her breathing, undressed, a bath run, and then her in it. While she soaked, he never stopped from checking on her and making sure she was okay—all while he never mentioned why she’d been so panicked.
This man, this wolf and Made Man, who always carried a gun, could turn lethal at the drop of a dime and smile at the next, played maid simply because she needed it. Not because she asked. Not because she told him he should. But because he knew, before even she did, what she needed.
Romano was silent now, watching her soak in the water, his eyes flashing occasionally when he saw her nipple break through the water or when she looked his way. There was something oddly sensual about a silent man sitting fully clothed while she was completely exposed. Everything since he’d walked into her life was new. She couldn’t blame it all on the chain of events. Romano was a living, breathing craving in her blood, and she didn’t understand how she’d gotten addicted to him.
“Do you know what it means to have a mate?” His voice was low and deep, perfect in the darkened atmosphere. The low light cast shadows over his scarred face. He looked feral.
She swallowed. “I have a feeling you’ll tell me.”
He chuckled, and she swore it was between her legs the way it rolled over her. The man was dangerous, that was for sure.
“I suppose I should have asked if you know what it means to have me as a mate, but you would have taken that to be cocky.”
She’d give him that. “Romano, you’re always cocky.”
“Not with you.”
She arched a brow. “Since when?”
“Since the moment I laid eyes on you. I told you about my mother. I grew up with the stigma of a child of a broken mated pair. It was unheard of for the pack. Something had to be messed up inside of me too, right?”
“They can’t blame your parents on you, Romano.”
He shook his head with a sad smile. “Oh, but they can. And they did. I was strong, one of the warrior class, and it meant women threw themselves at me, but it was understood it was only until their mates came along. To be honest, I didn’t know how to handle women for most of my life when it wasn’t about sex. I had a mother who’d run, a father left destroyed, and me, only prized for my claws and my cock. When Dominic came around, well, I found another ostracized wolf who understood me. He asked no questions, didn’t care that people avoided us, and didn’t look twice to pull me out of the Chaos Realm when others would have left me there.”
Kalinda stayed silent, too afraid of breaking his story to her. What a sad way to grow up. Sure, she wanted to scratch the eyes out of every woman who’d come before her, but his hurt was so much louder. His treatment at their hands. The way they’d hurt him simply because they could.
It didn’t make her exactly pleased with the women of the pack. Romano was a man to be respected. Despite how she fought him and argued against him, he never walked away, never turned his back. She wanted to hate him for claiming her, but she could admit his claim on her helped give them the time they needed to make some sort of plan. And could she regret they’d gone after the Viscount Pride the way they did after knowing what they’d planned? No, she couldn’t. Romano, for lack of a better phrase, had put up with her petulant child shit and with an understanding she wasn’t sure she was worthy of.
And now he sat here, pouring out his heart, his pain.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I’m not. It all taught me something. I learned from them and Dominic to cherish what I was given. To protect it, no matter what happened. The things given to me are few and far between, but I refuse to lose them.”
When he said the last bit, his hot gaze raked over her face, sending shivers down her spine and gooseflesh over her arms.
“To have me as a mate, Kalinda, means I will never walk away. I never thought I’d find a mate. Never thought I’d have a family. Dominic. Zoey. Giuliana. Arturo. You. I would die for you. Do you understand that?”
He meant it. Kalinda sucked in a deep breath. “There’s been so much, Romano. I’m not saying I’m running away. I’m saying I’m still getting used to having someone in my life, and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know how to be in a relationship when I expect to be left behind.”
