Chapter Sixteen
Fabiana’s heart thumped in her chest, trying with all its might to break through her ribcage. Maybe it was what Raphael said, or the way Adonis looked at her when she tried to join him in the shower. Regardless, she was grateful for whatever had caused her to climb from behind her wall and be strong for him.
His face toward the ceiling, Adonis was a man balancing between Heaven and Hell. Even though she didn’t know if she loved him, or what to name the emotions swirling through her every time he looked her way, Fabiana knew she couldn’t let him fall.
If she did, she may never seehimagain.
And she wanted to.
Of that fact, she was certain.
The more time she spent with him—learning who he was and bonding with his pack like a family—she wanted tobemorewith him. Adonis was a man of overwhelming force who dragged anyone in the vicinity into his sphere, be it for protection, loyalty, or need. They couldn’t help it, and neither could he.
What was it like tochooseto be a shield?
How did someone become hated by choice just so those around them never had to feel that way?
Most people simply didn’t understand. They’d argue the way he’d grown up didn’t define who he had become, that he’d made a choice to do the wrong he’d done. But Fabiana knew differently. Coming from their past and seeing what they had seen had tipped the scales so much that the other outcome—the upright life—seemed too far out of reach. Growing up with violence and hell was nothing less of institutionalization, like being imprisoned.
Some made it out while others always went back.
She slicked her hands over his chest, his warmth underneath her palms reminding her he was still here, he hadn’t fallen yet. She memorized his form in the light, taking in the way his muscles twitched as she traced his shoulders and biceps with her fingertips.
Adonis lowered his head and molded his hands her sides. “I will try.”
She opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he pressed his mouth against hers.
Fabiana moaned, letting him take over as she held on to him for balance.
This time was different. He was softer, explorative. Each pass of his lips over hers was a declaration of thanks. Her breasts craved attention, ached for the feel of his tongue and teeth. She never thought she’d be a woman who needed a rough touch on her body, but Adonis spoke to something deeper within her.
Fabiana had never wanted to examine a place where she loved to relinquish control.
Life, at times, was too much. Too many sensory inputs, too many needs and interactions with others. In these times, she could give up all of that, let him take her away and simplybe.
She needed that now more than ever.
When his tongue traced the seam of her lips, she opened for him willingly, turning her head to give him better access. She tried, without using words, to make him take over and do what he always did. Just like him, Fabiana needed the story of tonight to be washed away and the fear in his eyes to disappear.
Adonis dug his fingers into her sides, keeping her in place. He teased her mouth with short bursts of his tongue, sampling her, and as much as she liked it, she wanted more.Neededhim to devour her, to control.
She sucked on his tongue but he pulled it back, once more only giving her gentle, open-mouth kisses. Whether he knew it or not, he was altering his lovemaking to give her what she thought she needed.
Ugh.
Not that she didn’t appreciate what he was trying to do, but this wasn’t them. It hadn’t been their dynamic since he’d taken her the first time. They’d silently established she could spread her wings everywhere, but he was the leader in the bedroom and she willingly followed.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She raked her nails down his chest and hesitated.
“Pequeña,” he warned.
Fabiana bit his lip in reply.
“Woman, I am trying.”
Yeah, I noticed.
