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Manda nods. "You can do whatever you like with whoever you like before your bath. What you charge is your business." She points her fork at Dina. "Just don't sell yourself too cheap or you won't make many friends around here. The others won't like being undercut."
Nancy looks worried. "How much should we charge? How much do you charge?"
I bite my lip. Nancy looks too young to be doing that kind of thing, but I have to remind myself that life in the fort is different than life was with my dad. He sheltered me from a lot of bad situations, and something tells me both Nancy and Dina didn't have the same luck. I can't judge them.
Manda stiffens, though. She's offended. "I don't sell myself."
"I thought someone said you were with Daniels, though?" Nancy presses.
"That's different. We're in love."
Dina just snorts, and I get to my feet, taking my tray and Nancy's empty one to the counter. Love has no place in the apocalypse. Even I know that. Manda's too much of a dreamer. She thinks somehow that Daniels is going to take her away from all of this and they'll ride off into the sunset and toward a happy ever after. I don't have the heart to tell her that I've seen what's outside of the fort, and this is about as good as it gets.
I'm one of the first to take a bath. While everyone else is out partying with the soldiers who have coin—and Manda's on a “romantic date” with Daniels—I get to luxuriate in a lukewarm bath since there's no rush to give up my spot. I recline in the half-full tub, the water just barely warm enough to be pleasant, and scrub at my skin with unscented soap. The bathing room—with six other porcelain tubs lined up next to mine—is empty of everyone else, so I close my eyes and think about my dream.
Not about the bugs, but my friend.
He'd felt so real. I know it was just my imagination, but I keep holding on to the sensation that the dream left me with—the feeling that I wasn't alone. That I had a friend.
Manda's my friend. Rachel, too. It's not the same, though. It was a bit like having my father back…except different. Because when those claws touched my dream-skin, I wasn't thinking family thoughts. I was thinking that I wanted him to touch me in more places.
Private places.
Definitely not in a fatherly way.
I get out of the bath when the water gets too cold, dress in a new shift and panties, and then head up to my room. Down the hall, I can hear someone playing a violin and the sound of hands clapping. It's a party, and it'll go on until just about midnight, when everyone scrambles for a hasty bath at the last minute so they don't get into trouble.
Me, I head to my room. It's empty, so I light my candle, pull out my sewing, and lean toward the light so I can stitch.
If I dream about my friend again, I need to ask his name.
5
JENNY
Manda returns long after it's dark, just when I'm about to snuff the candle out and go to sleep. Her hair is freshly washed, and she's got a beaming smile on her face as she prances into the room. "Jenny!"
I chuckle at her excitement. She's so happy. "Fun night with Lucas?" She only calls Daniels by his first name. "You guys get some time alone?"
She sits down on my bunk next to me, pushing aside my half-sewn cloak. To my surprise, she grabs my hands and keeps smiling like a loon, as if she's brimming over with emotion. "You'll never guess what happened tonight."
I decide to guess anyhow. "Smith brought out his moonshine and got everyone plastered? Someone got naked and streaked through the hall? And Lord Azar caught you?"
Manda shakes her head. "Way, way off." She holds her hand out in front of me and waits.
I glance at it, then back at her, not sure what I'm supposed to be seeing. Then, I notice the slim golden band on her fourth finger. Oh shit. "Daniels proposed?"
"Yes!" Her voice drops to an excited hush. "Lucas says he loves me and wants to marry me. He's going to talk to Lord Azar in the morning about pulling me from the program so we can get married and have a family." Her expression is dreamy. "As long as I'm not taking food from the program, I don't see how he can say no."
First Rachel goes, and now Manda? Loneliness hits me like a wave. I'm going to lose both of my friends and then I'll be left here with no one but Dina and Nancy. "Oh."
Manda pouts. "You're not happy for me?"
"No, I am," I reassure her quickly. "I'm just sad for me. I'll miss you when you're gone." I miss Rachel desperately, and she's still in the fort somewhere, just kept apart from the rest of us. Now with Manda leaving, I feel abandoned all over again. I need to be happy for my friend, though, so I smile happily and hug her. "I guess I'm making you this cloak as a wedding present, then! Congratulations!"
