This whole town has lost its marbles.
The board quickly votes to form the Ad Hoc Committee to Determine the Outcome of Bigfoot Versus Boyfriend. That’s the easy part.
“On to committee appointments.” Ike says the words like he knows it’s opening the door for another hearty debate. “I move that the committee consists of four members, two appointed by each party involved.”
“I second that,” Hal says. He’s barely awake.
“Third,” Diana says, fighting a laugh. Her blue eyes are shining.
“Let’s bring it to a vote.” Ike squeezes Diana’s leg under the table, and she jolts. “All in favor of committee appointments being made as proposed?”
“Aye.”
“Aye.”
“Aye.”
“Aye.”
“Ay ay ay,” I mutter to myself. This is insanity. These are the same people who think I’m nuts for believing in Bigfoot?
“This is crazy, right?” Marlow whispers, barely moving her mouth. “I’m so sorry, Stevie. If I had known it would get this out of hand—”
“Don’t worry about it.” I link my arm through Marlow’s. “This town needs a movie theater. This proves it. Maybe we can send a transcript of the minutes to a theater chain—”
Bang!
Diana has reached across Ike to crack his gavel. “I move that the parties stop talking until I can be part of the conversation,” she says seriously, her icy blue eyes fixed on us. “Not an official motion, but still.”
“Sorry.” Marlow mimics zipping her lips.
“Sorry,” I mouth.
Ike nods. “Okay. The party of the first part”—he grins, well aware that none of these proceedings are official, or should be happening to begin with—“who would you like to nominate to the committee?”
I elbow Marlow. “That’s you.”
“Me?” She straightens, turning to look around the crowded room. People are even standing in the back. “Hmm.” Her eyes light up. “Muffie Horowitz,” she announces.
No surprise there. Muffie has half the town in her back pocket because she has dirt on them in some form or other. This is a power play by Marlow.
“And my second nominee ...” She scans the room, grinning like a predator. “Inger Sullivan.”
I gasp. “Mymom? You can’t put my mom on this Committee of Tomfoolery and Shenanigans.”
Marlow is playing dirty, and just when things were starting to get back to normal with us.
“Point of order,” my mom says, raising her hand.
Ike motions to her to proceed.
“Can the parties veto committee appointments?” My mom shares a look with Marlow. I don’t appreciate their alliance.
“No,” Ike says at the same time that Diana and Martie say, “Yes”.
“No,” he reiterates. “I’m hungry, and I’m already missing the Red Sox game for this. We’re never going home if we have to call a vote for every little thing.”
The minute-taker snorts as she transcribes Ike’s rant into the official minutes on her laptop.
