Am I a fighter?I’m grinning like a loon while I watch him.He keeps talking to her as he carefully lays her on the bed at my feet.He changes her diaper and then puts the onesie on her.It really is huge, but I bet it won’t be in a few days.
She’s wiggling and gurgling while he tends to her, his attention on her at all times.No one would know he’s not her biological father.She already has him wrapped all the way around her tiny finger.And it warms my soul.Any doubt I had about him not being able to accept my baby has fled the house.He’s already in love.
I can’t even hear all the things he’s telling her as he tries to swaddle her again.This time, he proudly lifts her, all tucked into the blanket.“Ah ha.”
I smile at him as he settles her in the bassinet.She wiggles for a few seconds and then settles.Aaric stares at her for long seconds, still grinning.Finally, he looks at me.“I’m going to get a few more things.Be right back.”
It’s impossible not to keep grinning.I think my face is frozen this way.I don’t even know when I last smiled before the past few days.It’s been years.
Aaric returns with several more items in his arms.He drops it all on the foot of the bed and holds up an odd contraption that has two strange funnels on the ends.“What is that?”I ask, pushing onto my elbows.
“A breast pump.”
My eyes pop out of my head.“What’s it for?”
“Pumping breasts?”he teases.
“Why would I need that?The baby already sucked me dry.”
“Actually, she only ate off one side both times you fed her.If you pump in between, it will help your milk production and also allow you to sleep through feedings, because then I can feed her your milk from a bottle.”
I stare at him, my jaw hanging open.“Seriously?”Wincing, I push to sitting and look down at my boobs.They are huge, but the left one is fuller than the right.He’s correct.Eve only ate from one side.The other side is heavy.But that thing looks painful.
He chuckles as I cover my offended breasts, coming at me with that machine.“It’s important, honey.I’ve read all the instructions.”He sets it in my lap and helps prop me up a bit more.
I don’t say a word as he takes over, holding one of the funnels up to one breast and then the other.“Can you hold them in place for a second, sunshine?”
I cup the sides and press them against my huge boobs.This is madness.
He fiddles with the machine, and a moment later, the funnels suction to my breasts and pull my nipples in tight.
“Oh.”It feels so weird.It makes a whirring sound every time it sucks, and milk starts squirting out of my breasts.It runs down the tubes and into two bottles.Whoever invented this was a genius.In minutes, I feel so much better.The pressure has been relieved.There isn’t much milk in the bottles, though.
“Don’t worry.Each time we do this, more milk will come out.”He disconnects the contraption and takes it away.
My head is spinning.I don’t know what to make of the way he takes care of me.It’s almost over the top, but I love it.I wouldn’t know any of this stuff without him.He didn’t just hand me the box and leave me to sort it out.He read the directions and managed it himself.
I think it’s sexy.
“Where did you put it?”I ask when he returns.
“In the refrigerator.When we get a stockpile, I’ll keep it in bags in the freezer.It will last longer there.Then I can just warm it up anytime it’s my turn to feed Eve.”
I can’t stop staring at him.He’s so pleased with himself.I think part of his plot revolves around the fact that he wants to have a role in her feedings.I can’t blame him.I feel very connected to her when she’s sucking from me.I suspect he’ll get a similar sense when he gives her a bottle.
Aaric is holding a tube of something now.He opens it and squeezes some onto his fingers.“Lie back, honey.”
I stretch out on the pillows, mesmerized once again.I don’t even ask what the heck he’s planning.I trust him.He seems to know a lot about this.
My husband leans over my body and rubs the ointment onto my nipples.He’s so gentle, but I wince a few times anyway.They ache.
“This will keep them from getting chapped and sore, honey,” he says softly, glancing at Eve.When he’s done rubbing the cream onto me, he picks up a white material, which I soon realize is a complicated bra.
“Can you lean forward for me, honey?”
It’s a struggle, but I manage to sit up.I’m dumbfounded as Aaric helps me into the bra.It seems unnecessary, but he settles it all around me and adjusts my breasts inside the cups before adding a round pad in front of each nipple.“There.How does that feel?”
Surprisingly, it feels better.It’s giving me support and protecting my nipples from rubbing against the sheets.“I think it’s good.”
