"I shot one cop already, and I’ll shoot another!"Mills shouted.
"Drop the gun, Mills!"Derek shouted back."It’s over."
"It’s not over until I say it’s over," he cried, his voice cracking.He sobbed, then quickly jerked to attention and grimaced as the pain shot through him.
"What do you want here?"Alison asked.
Mills squinted and swayed from side to side.He hadn’t noticed Alison until then, focusing only on Derek.He furrowed his brows as if he hadn’t understood or heard the question.
"What do you want here, Howard?"Alison called."Why did you come back here?"
Howard cried, blinking as the tears ran down his cheeks.He held the gun pointed at Derek, but with the way he was swaying, he would be lucky to hit him.There was no backup coming, not that Derek needed any.He could take him down at any time, and he might have already if it were not for Alison.The closure she wanted was not for Mills to be killed.She wanted to look him in the eyes as he was taken to prison.
"You came here because she was your first," Alison said."She was my sister.You took my sister away from me, Howard.You killed her when she had done nothing wrong to you."Alison jabbed a finger in her direction."
"I know, and I’m sorry," he said.
"Are you sorry, Howard?"Alison's demand brought tears to her eyes."Are you sorry?"
Mills thought about it for a moment."No," he said, shaking his head sadly."I want to be sorry, I want to tell you I’m sorry, but I’m not.I’m not sorry about any of them.I don't know why.I don't know why I did it.I jus† had to do it, and I was glad I did, but I don't know why.I don't know!"he screamed.
Derek took a step toward him, and Mills quickly stuck the gun under his chin.
"Don't come any closer," he warned."If you take another step, I’ll kill myself.I’ll do it!"
"All right," Derek said, stopping."I won't come any closer."He took a quick glance at Alison.
Alison knew that he felt what she did.If he killed himself, it was the easy way out.Emma didn't deserve that, and neither did any of the others.Mills didn't care about any of that, but Alison and Derek did.
"You don't want to go to prison, but you don't want to kill yourself either, do you?"Alison asked."You don't want to take either option, so what is it you want?"
"I just want to go back to how it was," he sobbed."I want it to be like it was."
"What do you want?"Alison scoffed."For us to tell you that we can give you that and then lead you out of here and arrest you.You don't deserve to feel for one second that you have a chance of getting out of here.One move, one works from me, and Derek will shoot you.He’ll end it right here, and there’s nothing you can do about it."
"No, no, no, please," he begged, dropping to his knees, the gun still pointed up at his chin."I am sorry, I really am, and I’ll do anything you want.Just say it, just came it, and I’ll do it.I never meant to do any of it, I had to do it, you have to understand that.You have to believe me."
"We don't have to believe anything you say," Alison said."You might believe that, but it’s not the truth.Twenty-two years ago, you killed my sister, and you posed her body after death.You wanted to do that.You weren’t disgusted by what you had done.You were proud, weren’t you?You posed her and took a necklace from her to keep as a trophy, and you kept it in the cabinet in your basement for twenty-two years, adding a new one every five years.I've been thinking a lot about poetic justice the last few days, and it would be just that for us to leave you dead in this park like you left my sister.You already shot a cop, so no one would mourn you."
"No, no, no, no," Mills begged."I didn't mean to kill him.I didn't mean to shoot him.He was just there, and it was a reaction.I shouldn’t have bought the gun.I should never have done that, and I then toby were all there in the warehouse, and I shot without thinking, over and over and over until I couldn’t shoot anymore, and I ran, and I’m tired, and I’m—"
"Oh, shut up!"Derek shouted."You couldn’t even do that properly.You shot a cop, but you didn't kill him.YOU can't do anything right, Mills, not even now.You can't even be a man and own up to what you did.Stop your babbling and stand up and face your crimes, Mills!Stand up, or I’ll shoot you."
"Okay, just stay calm," Mills said, pushing himself awkwardly to his feet.
For a moment, Alison thought about turning away.Derek would know what that meant, and he would do it, and Mills would join her sister in death, but he wouldn’t go where she went.He couldn’t hurt her in death.She didn't turn.She didn't really want that.She dimwit him to hurt, but not like that.
Alison let out a chuckle."You can't kill yourself," she told Mills."You are scared to do it, but you can’t, can you?"
"What?"he asked, his voice trembling.
"You shot and shot at the cops at the warehouse until you had no bullets left, right?And you didn't dare try to buy more.You’ve been carrying that gun around with you, but it’s not loaded anymore, is it?That’s why you can't kill yourself."
Mills looked in their direction, but Alison couldn't be sure if he was looking at either of them.He didn't respond for the first time since they had arrived there.He was lost for words.Then, the arm holding the gun fell limp to his side, and he dropped the gun to the ground.
Derek stepped forward now, the gun still pointed."Hands in the air, Mills."
Howard Mills did half what he was told and lifted the hand that had held the gun into the air, unable to do so with the other that was injured.
