I smiled, small and tight, as I let my fingers drift through the tangles of his hair.“Overthinking,” I admitted.
“I would never have guessed,” he teased.“We don’t have to talk about this stuff, if it makes you uncomfortable.I was just curious, is all.”
The perfect escape route, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to take it.Doing so would’ve seemed unfair.
“I’m not trying to be intentionally evasive,” I told him, “I promise I’m not.And you’re right, talking about all this does make me feel uncomfortable, but I’m not saying that means we shouldn’t ever talk about it.”
Kai lifted his head to look across me, at the clock on the nightstand.“What time is your first session tomorrow?”he asked.
I grimaced.“Nine.They’d better have a lot of coffee.”
He settled back down next to me.“Then how about we table this whole topic until later - a soon-later, not a much-later-later - so you can get some sleep, and I can dream about the waffles I’m going to order from room service while you’re in a presentation.”
“Hey,” I protested, nudging him in the ribs.
Kai laughed.“I’m here for the dick and the in-room dining, I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear,” he joked, then rolled to the side to click off the light.
“Well, shit,” I told the darkened room.“Now I want waffles.”
Chapter Seventeen
It should’ve been easy, slipping back into work mode without Kai at my side.For all I’d griped about the early session, the topic itself was actually pretty interesting.Better still, they’d had row upon row of coffee urns lined up outside.Only mini-pastries rather than waffles, sadly, but I was trying not to be too disappointed.
My brain, though, was snagged on the idea of the guy waiting in our room.Still sleeping when I left, quietly pulling the door closed behind me.I’d considered leaving a note, but it seemed a little ridiculous given he knew exactly where I’d be.
What I had no desire to do was spend the morning churning through all the same material I’d become preoccupied with the night before.Thoughts that had kept me from sleeping in anything bar fits and starts until the early hours.The part of me which called itself rational was pleading caution and restraint.I knew, though, that was as much fueled by fear after what had happened with my ex, as it was a level-headed perspective on the current situation.
Emotionally, the idea of opening up and giving in to...well, whatever was going to happen if I opened up and gave in, was also sounding both appealing and reasonable.Hamstrung, mainly, by the fact that I wasn’t entirely sure what was on offer to give in to.
Even just the logistics of it all were a dark cloud looming above us.Kai was home for the summer, but at some point his classes would start up again and he’d have to go back to school.The convenience of being next-door to each other would suddenly be off the table.It wasn’t exactly long distance - a couple of hours drive rather than half the world away - but it was a hurdle nonetheless.
A hurdle that would be moot, too, if all this was really a summer fling - spicy, and fun, and with a ticking clock that enabled that very thrill - and not destined for anything more.
Part of me wanted to just ask that outright, and get at least one known quantity marked in the ground.The answer might be difficult to hear, but it would make each decision that came after it a lot easier.Problem was, I wasn’t sure if Kai had that answer yet, or if he’d think I was ready - or even wanted - to hear it, if he did.
Or, alternatively, that he’d have assumed all along that I’d felt the same way: that this was always meant to be fun with a deadline inked upon it.
