“Well, weren’t you a good boy.I did do that, and now they’re going to let this mediocre student be a doctor.”He smirked at me.“Eventually.”
“Remind me to never come see you if I’m feeling sick,” I teased in return.
His expression turned lascivious.“Oh please, like my hands haven’t always made you feel better.”
I nodded, conceding the point.
“Well,” he continued, “if you change your mind - or if you can just stick around for a while now - I brought your stuff down with me.”
Suddenly the idea of being enveloped in cool, crisp water sounded like the only thing I wanted to do in the world.
Unlocking my phone, I checked the calendar of sessions for the afternoon.Depending on how short I was willing to cut lunch, I could probably fit in a swim.
“Do you mind waiting to eat?”I asked Kai.
His face lit up.“No, if it means you can come in the pool with me now!”
I smiled back at him; his enthusiasm was contagious.“Okay, where do I change?”
He pointed across the patio, then tossed me one of the hotel dry cleaning bags.“You’ll need this, though.”
“Oh, so I can’t just wear these?”I replied, sarcastically, gesturing down at what I was wearing.
Kai stuck out his tongue.“Sure you can.But you’re gonna make weird squelching noises all through the afternoon sessions, and the smell of chlorine might put people off sitting near you.”
“So you’re saying there’s good and bad, then,” I mused.
“Stop procrastinating and get changed!”he demanded.
I raised my hands in defeat and headed off to the locker room.
#
For some reason I’dexpected to find my old running shorts in the bag.Indeed, I’d packed them in my suitcase, with the express intention of wearing them to the pool here.Clearly Kai had decided otherwise, since he’d brought the much tighter, much more revealing gray suit that I’d bought at his instruction.
I grit my teeth.On the one hand, I really, really wanted to get in that pool.Just accepting it was going to happen had seen some of the morning’s stress melt out of my shoulders; the idea of changing my mind and not getting to float in the water without a care in the world - okay, for thirty minutes at most, but that was still better than nothing - was suddenly heartbreaking.
At the same time, this would be the first time anyone other than Kai had seen me wearing something so...skimpy.I’d just about got used to him watching me when I was in it, and even then whatever degree of comfort I felt was more about enjoying his inexplicable but still obvious attraction, than it was feeling relaxed in my own skin.And there was a lot of skin on show.
In the end, the need to wash away the morning - and that creepy conversation in the restroom - won out.Quickly I stripped out of my shirt and pulled off my pants, folding them as neatly as I could and then putting them into one of the empty lockers.Pushed down my boxer-briefs next, and then, before I could second-guess the decision, stepped into the swim trunks.
Like always, I was struck by their clinging softness.Somehow silkier than silk, even.Glancing to the side, I found myself in profile in a full-length mirror.Instantly looked away, only for my eyes to be tugged back across.
I was no Kai.That part really didn’t need to be acknowledged, but I couldn’t stop my treacherous brain from making comparisons, even if it knew I’d always come out in distant second place.A placement I’d still only earn because there were just two competitors.
All the same, I clenched my stomach and tried to puff my chest out, and pretend that what I was seeing wasn’t making my eyes itch with discomfort.Attempted to look at myself with what I imagined was Kai’s gaze, when he looked at me.
Even with my glass-half-empty perspective, I could see that I looked better than I did a couple of months ago.No model, sure, but in the hands of my relentless swimming instructor I had at least toned up some.Though I hadn’t been fat after the breakup, the most generous way to describe me would’ve still been “undefined.”
Now though, I had actual visible shape to my arms.Not bulging muscle, but I didn’t look like a collection of generic shop mannequin parts that had been jumbled together, either.I was considering that a win.
I chuckled at the thought, then self-consciously looked around to see if there was anyone to hear me.Thankfully not.Twisting the key in the locker and snapping its tethering rubber band around my wrist, I took a deep breath and padded barefoot to the door.
It was no busier outside, but I couldn’t escape the feeling that people were quietly watching - and judging - me.Wondering who the asshole in the trunks was, and who he thought he was, wearing something so revealing.My jaw was starting to clench, and the urge to turn right back around to get changed again was close to overwhelming.
“Are you gonna stand there or are you coming in?”
I turned in the direction of Kai’s voice; found him looking up at me, grinning, from the pool.Arms crossed on the edge.I tried to focus on his face and nothing else around me, to let the projected doubt and negativity fade as much as it could.That’d always felt like an unreachable theory, before, but somehow Kai’s smile made it easier to believe in.
