Ozrik explained the condition and how it came to light when he was a kid. He talked about social services and how they had handled his case—or rather, not handled it. He explained about the lies he told his worker to cover for his mother because he was afraid they would put him in foster care. He shared about how his mother poisoned him, fabricated illnesses, and lorded over his health. How she took care of him when he was sick. How she diagnosed him with everything under the sun, simply to have a reason to take care of him.
Under it all, I heard what he didn’t say. How Ozrik jumped through impossible hoops and ran an obstacle course of avoidance because he didn’t know what else to do and loved his mother too much to have her committed against her will.
“They call it a form of abuse. I get it, but the root cause is entirely psychological. It’s a mental health disorder. A dangerous one. For me. Stella doesn’twantto hurt me, Gale. She loves me in the only way she knows how. What she doesn’t want is to let me go. She’s afraid I’ll stop loving her and leave like my dad did.
“When I was a kid, she sought attention from anyone who would give it. Doctors, neighbors, and teachers at my school. Now, it’s my attention she wants. She knows I’ve got one foot out the door, and she’s terrified. She does everything she can to keep me close. It’s a catch twenty-two. If I stay, I suffer. If I go… I don’t know what will happen. This show was supposed to be my ticket to freedom.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Running won’t solve anything. Not really. She needs help, and I need to convince her to get it. Or force it, and I don’t know if I have it in me. I love my mother, but some days I hate her. Then I feel like an asshole.”
“You’re allowed to do both. Love her and hate her simultaneously.”
“How? They contradict each other.”
“Not really. I love Olivia to death. Unconditionally. She’s my other half. We’re linked in a way others can’t understand. But let me tell you, there are days when I hate her more than anyone on the planet. I could beat her with a dirty sock and not be sad.”
“So violent.”
I chuckled. “She’s selfish, mean, and hot-tempered. It’s infuriating when she doesn’t listen. But I love her anyhow.”
Ozrik rolled to his side to face me. “You get it.”
I copied and rolled to my side. The hood of the car wasn’t the most comfortable, but it wasn’t about comfort. It was about privacy.
“It sounds like you’ve had a tough go,” I said, taking his hand. “You aren’t the person I thought you were.”
“And who’s that?”
I shrugged. “Someone shallow and indifferent.”
“Ouch. Is that the vibe I give?”
“No. That was me being judgmental and making assumptions based on your level of hotness and number of friends.”
Ozrik laughed. “Tell me about my hotness.”
“No.”
He chuckled, and my cheeks warmed.
“I know you’re deep in the closet, Gale, but I was wondering—”
“Hey now, I told my sister. Can I have a moment to be proud? That’s like having one foot out the door. Three people know now. That’s three more people than a month ago.”
“You’re right. Be proud. It’s a big moment. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What were you wondering?”
Ozrik’s eyes glimmered devilishly. “If we could go on a date sometime.”
My belly swooshed. “A date? Dates are usually pretty public.”
“They don’t have to be. It can always look like friends hanging out, remember.”
“True. I heard you don’t date.”
“Is this fact from the same person who told you I was shallow and indifferent?”
