“Happy Christmas!” my mothers chorus. They’re both sitting in front of a small tree, decorated with fairy lights, red baubles, and a few ornaments I recognize as ones I made in school.
Our dog, Marigold, barks happily at their chanting. She wears a Santa hat for half a second before shaking herself, making it fly off in a wide arc. She barks again and chases after it.
My heart squeezes inside my chest as we all laugh.
“Happy Christmas, mom,” I smile and wink at my other mother, “and to you too, mom.”
“So cheeky! Is that what they’re teaching you at college?”
“You look thin! Are you–”
“Yes, mom, I’m eating! A lot, actually, look!” I show my plate that still has half the amazing dinner on it. I describe the dish to my mothers who nod and smile.
“That sounds lovely! Please give our best to the Van der Hoffs. We hope you had a nice celebration.”
“Yeah, I did,” I smile, swallowing thickly. “Did you get your presents?”
“Yes,” Bea smiles, brushing her hair back and reaching for the wrapped parcels I had sent them weeks ago, to make sure they’d arrive on the West Coast. “We wanted to wait for you before opening them.”
“It’s not much,” I say quickly as they both unpack. There’s more maple syrup fudge and chocolates, a colorful scarf for Bea, and new gardening gloves for Darla. I hope that I can spoil them properly after receiving my signing bonus.
They coo over their presents before bombarding me with questions about how my vacation has been, the results of my midterms, hockey, and a thousand other things that make my head spin.
We end up talking for so long that I barely notice how dark it has gotten in the room until I have to squint. I jump as someone’s silhouette appears in a sliver of light mirrored in the dark window behind my laptop.
“Fu—mh!” I only just manage to suppress the curse but my mothers still tut away on the screen.
“Just wanted to tell you to get some dessert before Nicko eats it all,” Nate says, prompting some protest from behind him.
“I heard that!”
“There’s no way!”
I snort at their bickering. “I’m talking to my mothers. Dessert can wait.”
“See? He doesn’t even want it!”
The twins’ banter grows quieter as they head back downstairs. I’m still smiling as I turn back to my laptop.
“Go, Xander. We’ll talk again soon,” Bea says with a broad smile.
“Oh, okay.” It’s always hard to hang up, but secretly I do want to know what a Dutch Christmas Log looks and tastes like.
“Goodnight and speak soon! Happy Holidays!” I say again, waving at the camera before I exit the program.
***
On our last day of vacation, Mr. Van der Hoff cooks another incredible meal, and there’s a round of card games that I lose, but I don’t care because it’s so much fun.
My mind is buzzing when I pack my things, refolding T-shirts that have gotten tangled with my underwear and socks. It’s probably futile and will look just as chaotic when I unpack again back at the dorm, but I know it’s useless trying to sleep while my head is swirling with all the impressions of the last few days.
I’m hung up on wondering whether the fragile peace between Nicko and I will translate back to Vermont, or if we will go back to spitting at one another.
Over the past few days there wasn’t an opportunity to test if we could get along without Nate being right there.
Eventually, I go to bed and try to get some sleep.
It’s no use. I toss and turn for what feels like hours until I’ve finally had enough of mulling the same questions over and over in my head.
