“As I said, there are a few things I still want to try out. I…well, it’s hard for me to form a genuine connection with a stranger, and I have a lot going on right now,” he admits, a flush crawling up his neck.
“We already know each other—I know you’re not an asshole. On top of that, you’re straight. Bi-curious max, but let’s be honest, with you going pro next year, a gay relationship won’t be in the cards for you. And I’m basically…taken. So we both know that nothing will come out of this. It’s just some harmless fun over the summer. Win-win for both of us!”
I have to laugh, even though it makes perfect sense. “So I’m what, nothing more than a convenient choice?”
Linden grins, even when his cheeks redden a little. “Aw, poor baby, is being convenient a first-time experience for you?”
“Ugh, okay, first of all, if we’re doing that, you can’t call me baby.” I’m only half joking, yet Linden throws his head back, laughing. It sounds a bit too high, like he isn’t as cool as he pretended to be.
“Fine, big boy, I’ll try and come up with a super manly pet name. How aboutogre?”
My jaw drops, and I give him a light shove across the console. “Damn, sweetheart, I didn’t know you had all that sass in you.”
Linden shrugs, then winks at me. For a moment, I take him in, my eyes trailing over his light hair and soft features. He has fair skin that flushes easily in the summer heat and high cheekbones that give him an exquisite look—like he’s about to walk at New York Fashion Week. From the way he hides his body underneath all these oversized shirts, though, I don’t think he knows it.
Now, could I imagine getting into bed with him? I try to picture how it would feel to run my hands along his sides or lean forward and kiss him. His lips look pink and soft. No fillers, obviously, and no sticky lip gloss, which also means no strawberry taste, but other than that, kissing should be the same as it is with women, right? With the added scratch of a light stubble, maybe.
“As I said, you don’t need to decide today,” Linden says, head tilted, as if he’s caught on to my thoughts. “There’s still time until the end of summer. When are you planning to get together?”
“September 7th,” I answer without hesitation. The date has burnt itself into my mind.
“September 7th,” Linden repeats, nodding slowly. “Lots of time to train until then.”
And that’s the point, isn’t it? I wouldn’t go into a big game without training for it, so why the hell shouldn’t I do the same with this? Especially since it’s important to me. And it wouldn’t be fair to Mike either. My interest in him might not be genuine, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a terrible experience for either of us.
“I’ll do it!” I blurt out before I can think this over again. “I mean, I want to take you up on your offer. Teach me everything there is to know about gay sex!”
“Everything, huh?” Linden laughs, and his voice takes on that high note again, the words coming out breathless. I can only imagine this isn’t a daily thing for him either, so I try to give him my most charming grin.
“Yup. I promise to study hard and be a good student. When do lessons start? Tonight?”
“No! Are you crazy?!” Linden bursts out, and I blink in surprise at so much vehemence.
“Uhm, okay? Do you already have plans for tonight, or…?”
“No!” he says again, then lets his head sink against the backrest with a sigh. “It’s just…let’s not get ahead of ourselves, alright? I’d prefer it if the others weren’t around for this. They don’t have to know what’s going on.”
“Ah,” I hum, because yes, I’d prefer that, too. The Nook tends to turn personal business into everyone’s business. It can be nice but also frustrating. I don’t need all of them to weigh in on this and make things awkward, especially not with a new roommate about to move in.
“But that could take forever!”
“Eager much?” Linden raises his blond brows.
“More like I want to get started before I think of all the reasons why this would be a bad idea,” I admit. “I’m kinda scared to lose my bravery, you know?”
Linden snorts, then reaches out to squeeze my hand. His is small compared to mine, with delicate fingers, but also rough calluses on his palm. “Nerves are okay, but if you feel like you have to force yourself, we’re stopping this whole thing. It’s not worth it then,” he says.
I nod, even though this makes me feel like an insecure teenager.
“Good, so let’s get those bags and start on dinner,” he concludes, already drawing back when I grab his wrist.
“Wait! I…should probably tell you something I left out the other day. But you can’t tell anyone else about this!”
“Way to sound ominous. What didn’t you tell me? Is it a full-blown orgy instead of a threesome? The whole football team involved?” Linden laughs but turns serious the moment our eyes meet. I like how he holds the contact, not blinking away like most people do when they’re met with my mismatched irises.
“I promise not to tell anyone,” he assures me, squeezing my hand again. “Now, what’s it?”
I inhale deeply, then release my breath again. This isn’t just my secret, so I feel bad giving it up. But Sasha was right. I should lay my cards on the table—and if I can’t do it with Mike, I should at least try it with Linden.
