“If we told them we’re together, they’d probably trade one of us away.” Nicko grimaces, then briefly drops his phone onto his chest. When he picks it back up, his eyes are slightly redder. “We’d be in different cities, only seeing each other when we play against each other, if we even play in the same conference.” Nicko clears his throat. “So we decided to…continue keeping it a secret.”
My heart squeezes inside my chest. It’s the one thing he was afraid of. “Nicko, I’m so sorry; that’s terrible.”
“At least we’ll be playing for the same team,” he mutters, his lips quirking up into a half smile. “Training’s fun. I’m skating circles around Xanxan’s lame ass.”
I wouldn’t even have that. The thought hits me while Nicko is still lost in thought. Next year, Micah will enter the draft. He’ll be playing in the NFL, and no matter what club he ends up with, I’llbe hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away from him, finishing my degree.
Exactly what Dad said was going to happen.
“Hey,” Nicko hums quietly, his eyes knowing as he takes me in.
“I just…I never thought about what could happen,” I admit, clearing my throat when my voice nearly gives out on me. “Really isn’t easy dating a professional athlete, huh? Or being one.”
“No,” Nicko agrees, drawing his brows together. “But just because things are hard doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it.”
I still feel dumb for not even thinking about the future. The verynearfuture. I was only concerned that I might get turned down. I hadn’t even considered what might happen if—and I’m not even sure of my chances on thatif—Micah felt the same way about me.
“God, I feel like an idiot,” I groan, burying my face in my free hand.
On the other end of the line, Nicko laughs softly, but I don’t feel judged. He knows better than anyone else what I’m going through after all.
“Not like I can tell you what to do,” he starts once I’m looking at him again. “But…go for it.” Nicko’s voice is quiet but steely. “You’ll regret it if you don’t, and you’re not a player. My problems are different problems, Lind; it’ll be different for you and Micah.”
I nod, swallowing thickly, not quite convinced.
“At least you won’t get annoyed at him for hogging the puck—or that egg, I guess.”
I snort, trying to imagine myself in the middle of a football match. “Oh God, pretty sure that’d be the least of my concerns.” I roll onto my stomach to turn on the lamp next to my bed. “How’s everything else? Did you find an apartment?”
Nicko grins. “Not just one. I found two!”
“Two?”
“Yeah, this one, and the one next door.”
“Uh…that’s great?”
Nicko snorts as he sees my puzzled expression. “Yeah, you know, couldn’t let Xanxan become homeless.”
“Generous as always.” A shadow falls over Nicko, accompanied by the deep voice. He grins up, entirely innocent.
“Plus, I have standards, and you’d have picked some dump!”
“Ah, and here I was being nice, letting you know pizza’s here, but I guess I’ll just—” Xander doesn’t get to finish his sentence. The phone camera blurs as Nicko jumps up from the bed. When he’s back in focus, he’s half draped over his boyfriend’s shoulder.
As always when seeing them together like this, there’s a twinge of envy going through me. But now it’s much sharper—and comes with a much clearer image: I want this in my future. And I can't help but picture Micah being the one I'd jump like—
“I gotta go, Lind! Pizza!”
I wave at my phone until the screen goes black, well used to Nicko’s antics. Besides, even over the phone, talking to him improved my mood. Enough to admit that I, too, feel hungry. I trudge downstairs, hoping to find some company as well as food.
Sasha is having a protein shake, leaning against the kitchen counter. She’s idly chatting to Vince, who’s scrolling on his phone.
“Hey, Linden, we were just about to order some food. You in?”
“We’re torn between pizza and Chinese,” Vince says, looking up from his phone. His smile is as open and friendly as always, and I work hard to suppress the reflex of searching for even a hint of hostility or accusation. My stomach is reminding me that right now would be a good opportunity to overcome my aversion if it means food.
“Cool! I’d be down with either. Should I go and ask Olli if he wants anything?”
