What would it be like to have so many people in your life who care about you the way all these people obviously care about each other?
“You okay?”
I jump when Sebastian’s softly spoken words pull me from my thoughts. When I turn, he’s standing so close, his chest nearly brushes mine. His gaze bounces over my face, studying me. I get the impression he sees more than I’d like him to.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
Though he’s quiet for a beat, he doesn’t move. Heat radiates from his body, and I want to sink into it. “They can be a lot, but they’re the best. The kind of people who’d run into a burning building for you.” He chuckles. “And I’m not exaggerating. They literally did just that a few months ago for Blair and Reed, when Logan’s stalker tried to kill them.”
I turn to him, eyes wide and mouth open. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately. I didn’t get there until after the fire department locked the building down, but yeah.”
“Wow.”
“It was one of the scariest moments of my life. Wondering if my friends would make it out.” His voice is quiet while he watches them.
“I’m glad everyone is okay.” I wonder who would run into a burning building for me? Lola, of course. My parents? I’m not sure. I’d like to think so, but the reality is that I can’t say with any real certainty.
I’ll never regret going to college in Canada. It allowed me to get as far away from the Hollywood bullshit as I could, and I made some amazing friends who I still chat with to this day. But they’re in an entirely different country, and that means the support we offer each other is mostly virtual.
Basically, if I’m ever trapped in a burning building, I’m shit out of luck.
“Are you okay?”
“Hmm?” I turn to find him studying me.
Sebastian’s Adam’s apple bobs, and his hand twitches at his side. “Are you okay? I’m sorry if I embarrassed you back at the arena. I know you don’t like to be the center of attention, and I went and kissed you in front of everyone like that…”
“Oh. No, you didn’t embarrass me.”
The furrow of his brow softens. “Good. That’s good. Because I didn’t plan on doing that, and I’d hate to think I screwed things up with you.”
Oh.Oh. Obviously, he didn’t plan to do that. My smile starts to slip, but I force it into submission. “Of course you didn’t. I get it. Your adrenaline was pumping. Heat of the moment.”
He smiles broadly. “Exactly.”
Never has one word cut through me with such enthusiastic efficiency.
“Listen, could we go to another room and talk?”
I knew it.I knew it.
There’s no way I can handle following Sebastian into another room so he can let me down gently in an apartment full of people. Because I won’t be able to keep the tears at bay, and I’ll be damned if I make a fool of myself.
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t want to be rude.”
Sebastian’s lips twitch briefly downward. “No one will think it’s rude.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. It was a heat-of-the-moment thing, right? It didn’t mean anything. There’s no reason it has to ruin our friendship.”
I hate every single word as they spew out of my mouth. I hate myself for speaking them. If this was one of my romance books, I’d be brave. Tell him I have loved him since I was an awkward teenager with braces and pimples the media loved to point out. If this were a romance novel, I’d pull him into another room myself, and I’d tell him how much it hurt me that he kissed someone else that summer and chose her instead of me. Then I’d tell him I still love him. And I’d ask him to choose me this time. To take a chance on me.
But this isn’t a romance novel, and I’m not some pretty, quirky heroine. I’m an almost thirty-year-old woman with deep-seated insecurities, cellulite, and stomach rolls. And Sebastian is, well, Sebastian. Successful, famous in sports circles, and so attractive, he has women throwing themselves at him wherever he goes.
Of course, he didn’t plan on kissing me. I was simplythere.
Sebastian frowns in earnest. “It didn’t mean anything.” Not a question, but a repetition of what I’d said. His deep brown eyes search mine, narrowing at whatever he sees. “Indie, I?—”
