I raise my hands. “Nothing! Why is that your first thought?”
“Maybe because you smuggled in a dog from the human realm, and got Lord Kyran to approve thatafterthe fact?”
I lean down to my dog and cuddle her face. “Well, Lady is now half of this world, so no harm done.”
Sabine’s gaze settles on the salivating beast. “So? Why are you in the law section?” she repeats calmly and taps little Nathan’s back when he cuddles up to her.
“Now that I’m pondering leaving the Nightcloaks, I have a bit more time, and a theoretical question struck me. Is there really no way to break the bond of shadows?”
Sabine exhales, her eyes closing. “Bah! On the silver moon, Tristan! Please, tell me you’re not trying to take Captain Gloombane’s promised from him!”
Why does it feel as if she’s stabbed me? I came up with the question on the spot to obscure my true intentions, but have I accidentally told her my deepest darkest dream even I wasn’t aware of?
I throw my hands in the air. “He doesn’t deserve Nate! And why is he delaying the vows? He’s poisoned Nate against me too, and they demand I stop sending letters. I won’t have it!”
Lady barks, agreeing with my point, but my sister grabs my forearm and drags me behind the shelves, lowering her voice. “You have no right to someone else’s promised, you know that! It’s not up to you whether the captain is worthy or not. I knew your obsession with that human went beyond what’s normal for you,” she adds with a shake of her head and starts pacing so evenly Nathan snores, falling asleep in her arms.
I rub my face in despair, and the shadows of the tall shelves deepen, becoming as cold as the waters of the River of Souls. “I’m the one who pulled him out. Maybe there’s a way to transfer the bond before he makes the vow—”
“Listen to yourself, Tristan. You know it’s impossible. Do you think we wouldn’t know a way by now? This tradition has been in place for over a thousand years. You…” She walks ever farther away from the popular sections where a few members of the court might overhear us. “You will be able to court him when they have made their vows. It’s improper for you to make demands any sooner.”
I’d scream were we not in a place so quiet. Are my feelings this transparent? “I’m notdemanding. I just want to see him. Or get a few more letters. Is that really so wrong?”
Sabine shakes her head. “Yes, because what you’re doing might interfere with their bond. The Dark Companion belongs to their shadow wielder until one of them dies. There is no way around it.”
My chest aches, and Sabine blinks, her jaw dropping. “No. Tristan, you’re a prince, but Captain Gloombane is not just some peasant whose death could quickly be forgotten. No human is worth this kind of risk.”
I guess my feelings really are painted all over my face.
“He is,” I grumble, more petulant than Nathan when he demands coral berries for breakfast. “You don’t understand, Sabine.”
“You’re in love with him,” she says softly, but the words are still like razors dragged over my heart. “Listen, I feel for you. It’s not an easy situation to be in, but from what I know about your captain, he has no interest in men. You should be able to rekindle things when they come here for their ceremony. Let me go get some paper and ink, and I will help you craft a strongly worded letter asking about the delay. It will be scathing. Sit.”
I sigh, deflated, and settle at one of the long driftwood tables polished to perfection. I wish I’d studied harder as a child, so I could write such a demand myself, but it is yet another area in which I’m lacking.
As I wait, I pull out the letter from Nate. It’s crumpled, and I have to put together the two pieces to read it again. Lady’s saliva had made a few words disappear, and it brings me joy when I see it’s Gloombane’s name that’s damaged.
I’m terrified that Sabine might be right. I fell in love with him so fast and hard. I’ve never met anyone so sweet and genuine before, and he’s stuck to my heart like honey.
I reread the letter helplessly and stroke Lady’s muzzle when she puts it on my thigh. “And not once has he asked about you,” I grumble to the dog.
A cold, slimy shiver goes down my throat and settles in my stomach.
“He’s not asked about you,” I repeat in a whisper. “He would have.”
After two months of worry and yearning, the scales finally fall from my eyes.
None of the letters written in Nate’s hand were trulyfrom him. If the words aren’t his and neither are the sentiments, then maybe… he’s hiding his real thoughts, out of fear that Gloombane might read them? Perhaps he hates it in the tower and secretly hopes I’ll fetch him to the Nocturne Court?
Lady cocks her head, as if she understands my agitation without words.
A soft sigh leaves her muzzle, and I rise, prompting her to make a joyful circle.
Fuck letters, no matter how strongly worded.
I’m not waiting a day longer.
Chapter 15
