I’m all out of words, because what can I say to this level of frustration coming from a young mother who’s been helping me for weeks now. Shame settles on my shoulders, and I rub myarms as a chill radiates through my body despite my warm fluffy sweater.
Is that what’s happening? Am I just hiding out here, so I don’t need to be confronted with the world?
I want to argue, let myself be angry, but what can I possibly say? That I don’t want her to shove reality in my face?
“I—did something happen?” I whisper, rubbing my throat when it starts feeling tight.
Sabine takes a deep breath and absentmindedly strokes Lady’s head when the overgrown pup pokes her with its nose. “No… and yes. Forgive me for this outburst. I’m also wondering how far we can take this, but I swore to Tristan I would not tell you, so this is me,nottelling you what it is, but that there issomething. You need to either talk to him, which would be preferable, or pressure him to write you about it. I… he’s my brother, Nate, and while I know he can be rash or moody, or make bad choices, he means well. Even if you do part, I want you to know that.”
I do want to break my bond with Tristan.
So why does the chance for a permanent solution taste so bitter?
I shake my head, stepping back, because I can’t stand the weight of her gaze. I wish to be alone and no longer feel pressured. She might have the best intentions, but I just… can’t be around her right now. Which is probably why she didn’t just send a letter. She needed me to see her exasperation.
For all I know, Tristan might have set her up to do this and even told her to bring Nathan along, because he knows how much I love kids.
Or I’m just paranoid because my mind has been permanently altered by Gloombane.
“I’ll think on it.”
She nods. “Please do.”
Sabine leaves after petting Lady once more, and now I’m stuck with information that feels like a grenade that might or might not be armed. We have news that can lead us to the unicorn, and Tristan has been deliberately keeping this from me? Thatismanipulative, surely.
Then I hear the effing rats again, and I’m about to lose it.
The tap of Lady’s paws leads my gaze to the walls where all the noise is coming from, and I rub my face when she scratches at it, whining.
I let out an exasperated sigh and come closer, with tears pushing at my eyes, because I don’t know how to handle all this.
I don’t know what I want.
I don’t even know what’s best for me anymore.
“Just leave me alone,” I demand and slam my hands against the painting of a pretty seascape so hard it falls off the wooden surface. I meant to move it, but I’m agitated, and it just happened.
I stiffen, petrified to my core when I spot an eye-sized hole in the wall. I blink when something beyond it moves, then grab the painting only to discover that a small piece of it can be moved to create an opening in the canvas.
I scream out and drop it because… what the hell?
“Who are you? Whose orders are you here on?” I yell and punch the wall.
I get no answer, so in absolute frenzy, I run over to the tools still left behind a curtain because of the constant renovations, and I grab the axe.
Lady’s barking, wagging her tail, and I slam the axe into the wall time and time again, sweating, terrified, yet unwilling to back down.
I will not be captured and victimized again! I will not!
“Speak to me, you bastard!”
I don’t even know when I started sobbing, but I manage to rip a whole plank of wood out to reveal a space no more than three feet wide with what looks like bedding on the floor. There’s snacks, a lantern, a book, and…. and…
I think I’m going mad, because this can’t really be here, can it?
Has the Lord of the Nocturne Court sent someone to spy on me? Does he know of all my plans and is about to put me in the dungeon for even conceiving them?
I can’t breathe, I can’t.
