“No, she would have dissuaded me. She’s the reasonable one. And yes, I’d like a drink.” My heart beats faster, and I brush dust off my shoulders and hair to look more presentable as I approach. I’ve been longing for him for so long I almost have stage fright. Almost. Because I won’t be missing the opportunity to woo him again.
“Sit here,” he tells me, tapping a large blood red-upholstered chair separated from his usual seat on the sofa with the coffee table. I’m about to reach him when he walks off toward the little cupboard with snacks. “Any preference? I assume you know what I have here.”
I don’t want to sit. I want to be whereheis and smell him from up close, and while he now uses our soaps, the scent I fell in love with is still there.
“How about I make it?” I ask, following him. I’m good at mixing alcohols, so it could give me an opportunity to impress him. “You look good. Your hair’s grown back so fast.”
He pulls on one of the strands, blushing. “Well… it’s… a tonic the maid gave me. Blessgreen tea, please,” he instructs me before retreating to the sofa. He sits in the very corner, facing me, and covers his feet with another blanket.
I wish I could be the one keeping him warm.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t like some fern wine with the tea?” It feels so good to talk to him. My heart is soaring in excitement like a star rising into the sky. “I’m also glad to know you have a healthy appetite. But you’ve not ventured out much. Or at all, really. You know you’re allowed to, right? You could wear a hat or just comb your hair over the ears and keep a low profile.”
He shakes his head, dismissing the wine, then lowers his eyes and tightens the blanket-cloak around his body. “Oh I… I’m not sure. It’s all so unfamiliar.”
“It doesn’t have to be. I’d be happy to escort you. We can avoid the busy places, and you could see some new animals. We can take Lady with us.” I might be talking a bit too fast. I’m just so elated to be allowed next to him.
I swear, if this kettle takes any longer to boil, I will lose my mind. I make my own drink in the meanwhile. It’s a mix of fern wine and cherin, with two bullarites added in for that pleasant fizz. I hope Nate gives it a taste.
“I’ll think about it,” he says, buried so deep in the cloak his breath is stirring the fibers. “But… Sabine told me—” He rolls his eyes. “You know what she told me.”
Once I have his tea in the prettiest cup, I grab my own glass and head for the sofa to sit next to him. “I’m sorry I was holding back. It’s been only a few days, I swear. I wanted to tell you in person.”
He pulls his feet back, inhaling as his finger rises, indicating the armchair. As I stall, passing him the cup, Lady helps me out and jumps into the armchair, looking pleased with herself.
“Oh no. It’s occupied…” I try, watching Nate frown.
“Just… keep to that side then,” he says after throwing a sharp glance at Lady. She knows what’s best for all of us. Good girl.
“Would you like to try my favorite drink first?” I offer him the glass.
Nate huffs, cocking his head. “No. I want you to tell me the news you’re been apparently keeping from me for the past few days.”
I might be keen on seducing him, but I know when I pushed too far, so I obediently sit back on the other side of the sofa. It won’t stop me from giving him the most longing-filled glances. For weeks, I’ve been living in his walls, and feeling like a madman, so I hope my exhilaration can be excused.
“Sabine and I have been corresponding with an astronomer who lives a few days away from the castle, and he thinks he’s established a way to locate the unicorn by looking at the star arrangements. But he won’t see you without me, as he’s a bit of a snob and will only speak to a royal.”
Nate’s shoulders drop, but as my heart falls, his mouth spreads into a smile. “That’s… incredible news. I was worried that…” Is he about to cry? His voice is starting to sound so tight… “That it’s impossible.”
It hurts that he’s so happy about news that can help him part from me. I have to take a big gulp of my drink to ease the bitterness in my throat. “It’s nothing certain, and only the first step, but this astronomer, Merethis Nightscribe, is no fraud, so we might really be onto something.”
His smile falters. “But I’ll have to… leave this place. For days.”
I nod, wishing I could grab his hand and reassure him, but he’s created such a cocoon for himself it’s clear he doesn’t want me to do that. I have no right to him, but it still hurts. “Yes, but I will escort you every step of the way. I’d love to show you how beautiful our Realm can be. It’s not just gloom and misery, I assure you.” I absentmindedly wrap our shadow thread around my finger and tug on it with longing.
The cup in Nate’s hand trembles as his eyes roll back, and he puts it down on the coffee table. “What—are you—?”
I drop it and down my drink. “Apologies. I can sense our bond, Nate. And I missed you. Do you not remember what we had? Can you not feel how my heart beats for you?” I take the plunge and move closer, only to be met with Nate’s foot on my chest. I’d kiss it if he didn’t look so terrified.
His eyes are wide as he sinks deeper into his blanket fort, almost as if he fears me.
I move back, but in the end I even get up to create more space between us. I’m hurt. Deeply. But I also know it’s nothing in comparison to what he’s probably going through. His time at Gloombane’s tower might have left faded scars, but the visible marks on his body aren’t the worst of it. While I’d love to give him a potion that would make him forget it all, there are none without side effects.
I start pacing the room, unable to look at him. “Nate… were there a potion that could make you forget what you’ve been through, but at the risk of forgetting much more than that only, would you like to drink it?”
My question does not have the effect I hoped for, because Nate pales, and even Lady senses the sudden increase in tension, as if she can smell his fear. “You’re offering to roofie me?”
“To… what?”
